"Conversation should be pleasant without scurrility, witty without affectation, free without indecency, learned without conceitedness, novel without falsehood."
Published on August 21, 2006 By Sally jacobs In Personal Relationships

I have never had a one night stand. I've had the opportunity to do it. Many times, and I have never wished to engage in such activities. Especially when I was going through college and you was out every weekend, and it was in your face all the time. The meat market feel of a night club. Like everyone was just eyeing up their next conquest, and didn't really have much else in mind. I always went out to have a good time. To get my ass on the dance floor, and shake it, and forget all the stress of the week gone by. It worked too. You can't beat a good dance. There would always be one guy though that would be stood off to the side, watching you. Eyes popping out of his head, tongue hanging out, like they'd never seen a chick before. They would always be having a drink, to build their confidence. Why is it men always think they can dance when they've had a drink? Don't they realise they are ten times worse? Something that I didn't realise was possible.

Anyway, you are happily shaking it on the dance floor. Maybe in a slightly sexy manner, which would explain why slimey men just can't keep their eyes off you. So eventually they build the confidence to come and dance with you. Usually from behind. What the hell is that about? Like you really want to feel some stranger groping your ass! How is that logical in mens minds? Yer, I don't know this girl, but by feeling her arse, she might just like me! I don't think so! It works on some chicks though, it must do, or these men wouldn't continue to do it. Even men aren't that stupid! So they start dancing with you. Maybe whispering in your ear, as they do. They could be whispering anything in your ear, it isn't like you can hear a word they say. So you reach a point where you somehow feel some connection with this person. Maybe they are just really damn sexy, and you can't resist them! So you might kiss them, and they might cop a feel. And they say romance is dead!

In that situation where do you reach the point where you think, I would like to have sex with this person? I just don't see what would make that decision click for you. The first thing that would go through my head is if this person can do this with me, they could do it with anyone, which means you don't really know what they've got. Which isn't really a situation I would like to put myself in. Then there is the comfort levels. Why would you want to do something so intimate with someone that you don't even know? Probably in a weeks time you won't even remember their name. Will you be a better person for doing that? I highly doubt it. I know that sometimes people get caught up in the moment, and they are overtaken with passion. I guess, I wouldn't really know how the chemistry of that situaton works. Even though there are no feelings there. How can that be a worthwhile feeling, when you strip it of everything love making should be about.

Isn't it better with someone you care about? Sure, we have these sexual urges, and we all sometimes feel a little rampant. That's human nature, but surely the answer isn't sleeping with the first person that comes along. Doesn't it add to it if it is with someone you care about? I am not even saying you should be madly in love, though it would be nice. I am just saying, maybe it would be nice if it was someone you had feelings for, and who you wouldn't wake up wondering what the hell you did. I have friends who have put themselves in really dangerous situations, and for what? They have gone back to peoples houses, and invited people back to theirs. People who they don't know, who could be anyone, and for what? To complete the most intimate act of all with them. Sex with a stranger. Sounds so appealing, doesn't it?

Now I guess this is another subject that I don't really know the reasoning about, because I have never had a one night stand. So I can't really comment on what makes these people tick, and why they do it. I have seen friends who have done it, and some feel great about it. One night of fun, with someone. It sets them up for a great week. Mostly though, the next day they are gutted, and have no idea why they did such a thing. They feel cheap, and used. I suppose I can see why. These people are the same people that will go out and do it the next weekend to though, so my sympathy for them isn't that strong. I guess we are all wired differently though. I guess some people can just leave their morals at the door and live life for the moment. Rather than worrying about what they are doing. I also imagine there is alot of enjoyment to be had the world of one night stands. Fortunately I will never have that knowledge!


Comments (Page 1)
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on Aug 21, 2006
Bravo sally!Being a 54 year old male and having gome through the "bar scene" was a test of my morals and up bringing.Yes i did take women home in a drunken stuper but always had enough sense to use protection.I was lucky but learned real quickly that this was not the life for me at all.I quit drinking over ten years ago and never went back to that scene again.It is difficult these days to find a person that can be trusted but definatly now an impossible task.Noe the interent kind of replaced the bar scene and in a way is more deceitful.Good luck!
on Aug 21, 2006
LOL, I think it's the romantic in you that believes that sex is best when shared with someone you care about.

Sometimes sex is just sex, though. It doesn't mean anything, but it satisfies an itch.
on Aug 21, 2006
. . . I'm with you on this one Sally . . . (or should I call ya Gina?)

I think sex is best when shared with someone you truly love. Otherwise, it is just scratching an itch . . . and itches always come back! (Think of it like itching a rash, it always gets worse in the end!)
on Aug 21, 2006
you was out every weekend


Maybe I'll read one of your entire articles when and if your grammar improves.
on Aug 21, 2006
Otherwise, it is just scratching an itch . . . and itches always come back! (Think of it like itching a rash, it always gets worse in the end!)


Itches come back whether you scratch them or not.

So, Sally and San Chonino, you've "LOVED" every person you've slept with?
on Aug 21, 2006

"bar scene" was a test of my morals and up bringing.Yes i did take women home in a drunken stuper but always had enough sense to use protection.I was lucky but learned real quickly that this was not the life for me at all.I quit drinking over ten years ago and never went back to that scene again

At least you have had the experience and know what you are getting into, so you can make a decision about the situation, and I'm glad you reached that one!

, I think it's the romantic in you that believes that sex is best when shared with someone you care about.

Sometimes sex is just sex, though. It doesn't mean anything, but it satisfies an itch.

I know I am a hopeless romantic and I realise not everyone is like that.  Hehe I guess some just want to scratch that itch!

I'm with you on this one Sally . . . (or should I call ya Gina?)

Hehe, you saw that then??  It would be weird people calling me Gina on here now!

I think sex is best when shared with someone you truly love. Otherwise, it is just scratching an itch . . . and itches always come back! (Think of it like itching a rash, it always gets worse in the end!)

Hehe...you make me giggle!  You're such a nice guy, at least I know I'm not the only person of our age group that thinks like this!

Maybe I'll read one of your entire articles when and if your grammar improves.

Maybe I will pay attention to one of your comments, when and if your attitude improves, but I doubt it

Thanks for the comments x

 

on Aug 21, 2006

So, Sally and San Chonino, you've "LOVED" every person you've slept with?

Yes, I'd only do that with someone I cared about

on Aug 21, 2006
A gentleman never says how many or who they have slept with.  But I can tell you, that I have never slept with a stranger, and I was in love with everyone I did have sex with.
on Aug 21, 2006
Yes, I'd only do that with someone I cared about


LOL, you changed your answer!

I think either some of you have a VERY loose definition of "LOVE" or you are VERY inexperienced in the sack! Haha.
on Aug 21, 2006
One nighters in the actual, never seen you before never see you again since: 0
One nighters with friends or acquaintances who hook up to 'scratch an itch': a few

Casual no strings attached sex can be really fun when you aren't involved with anyone else. Really, after a night out drinking and having a good time, you go home. At least if you bring someone with, you don't have to do it alone.
on Aug 21, 2006
You can get diseases from having sex.

Dirty ones.

Be careful shake an vac.
on Aug 21, 2006

Hi Sally.

I've never had sex with a stranger.  I am a pretty confident person, but something happens to all that bravado when I am butt naked in a room with someone I don't know.

How do I know this?  The YMCA of course.  hahahahahah  Getting undressed around other women I don't know is freaky.  I can't imagine doing it in front of a man I don't know.....~shivers~ no wonder people do it drunk! hahahah.

 

 

on Aug 21, 2006
I skipped the entire bar/club scene. I've been in a bar once, and never in a club.
on Aug 22, 2006
So, Sally and San Chonino, you've "LOVED" every person you've slept with?


No . . . and therein lies the problem. I've had a one-night stand before. And I know the consequences . . . I can't even remember the girl's name. (Keep in mind, y'all, this was when I was like sixteen, and I haven't even had sex since I was seventeen . . . wow, that's a lot longer looking when it's written down.) And that's why i say what I say - having learned what I've learned, I don't intend to have sex outside of the bonds of marriage again. When I truly love someone that much, then I'll be ready to have that sort of relationship again. Until then, count me out, Tex.
on Aug 22, 2006
Okay, you sucked me in (no pun intended) with your salacious title.


I have never had a one night stand.


Um... I... um... no comment....


Even men aren't that stupid!


Yes, we are.


Reply By: San Chonino
. . .
it always gets worse in the end!


God, don't set me up like that. Don't you know it's dangerous to say something like that around me?

Oh no... can't resist...

Is that why women say "Exit only?"

Sorry that just slipped out. (Oh-dearie-me, that sounds inappropriate!)

"Okay, Mr. Chonino will not have either the One Night Stand special or the Doggy Style platter. Let us know when you're ready to order, hun. Excuse me, I'll be right back -- Mr. Jackson's trying to order off the children's menu again. Michael! Put that down!"

Darn... can't stop... better leave now...
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