"Conversation should be pleasant without scurrility, witty without affectation, free without indecency, learned without conceitedness, novel without falsehood."
Published on August 21, 2006 By Sally jacobs In Personal Relationships

I have never had a one night stand. I've had the opportunity to do it. Many times, and I have never wished to engage in such activities. Especially when I was going through college and you was out every weekend, and it was in your face all the time. The meat market feel of a night club. Like everyone was just eyeing up their next conquest, and didn't really have much else in mind. I always went out to have a good time. To get my ass on the dance floor, and shake it, and forget all the stress of the week gone by. It worked too. You can't beat a good dance. There would always be one guy though that would be stood off to the side, watching you. Eyes popping out of his head, tongue hanging out, like they'd never seen a chick before. They would always be having a drink, to build their confidence. Why is it men always think they can dance when they've had a drink? Don't they realise they are ten times worse? Something that I didn't realise was possible.

Anyway, you are happily shaking it on the dance floor. Maybe in a slightly sexy manner, which would explain why slimey men just can't keep their eyes off you. So eventually they build the confidence to come and dance with you. Usually from behind. What the hell is that about? Like you really want to feel some stranger groping your ass! How is that logical in mens minds? Yer, I don't know this girl, but by feeling her arse, she might just like me! I don't think so! It works on some chicks though, it must do, or these men wouldn't continue to do it. Even men aren't that stupid! So they start dancing with you. Maybe whispering in your ear, as they do. They could be whispering anything in your ear, it isn't like you can hear a word they say. So you reach a point where you somehow feel some connection with this person. Maybe they are just really damn sexy, and you can't resist them! So you might kiss them, and they might cop a feel. And they say romance is dead!

In that situation where do you reach the point where you think, I would like to have sex with this person? I just don't see what would make that decision click for you. The first thing that would go through my head is if this person can do this with me, they could do it with anyone, which means you don't really know what they've got. Which isn't really a situation I would like to put myself in. Then there is the comfort levels. Why would you want to do something so intimate with someone that you don't even know? Probably in a weeks time you won't even remember their name. Will you be a better person for doing that? I highly doubt it. I know that sometimes people get caught up in the moment, and they are overtaken with passion. I guess, I wouldn't really know how the chemistry of that situaton works. Even though there are no feelings there. How can that be a worthwhile feeling, when you strip it of everything love making should be about.

Isn't it better with someone you care about? Sure, we have these sexual urges, and we all sometimes feel a little rampant. That's human nature, but surely the answer isn't sleeping with the first person that comes along. Doesn't it add to it if it is with someone you care about? I am not even saying you should be madly in love, though it would be nice. I am just saying, maybe it would be nice if it was someone you had feelings for, and who you wouldn't wake up wondering what the hell you did. I have friends who have put themselves in really dangerous situations, and for what? They have gone back to peoples houses, and invited people back to theirs. People who they don't know, who could be anyone, and for what? To complete the most intimate act of all with them. Sex with a stranger. Sounds so appealing, doesn't it?

Now I guess this is another subject that I don't really know the reasoning about, because I have never had a one night stand. So I can't really comment on what makes these people tick, and why they do it. I have seen friends who have done it, and some feel great about it. One night of fun, with someone. It sets them up for a great week. Mostly though, the next day they are gutted, and have no idea why they did such a thing. They feel cheap, and used. I suppose I can see why. These people are the same people that will go out and do it the next weekend to though, so my sympathy for them isn't that strong. I guess we are all wired differently though. I guess some people can just leave their morals at the door and live life for the moment. Rather than worrying about what they are doing. I also imagine there is alot of enjoyment to be had the world of one night stands. Fortunately I will never have that knowledge!


Comments (Page 2)
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on Aug 22, 2006
"Okay, Mr. Chonino will not have either the One Night Stand special or the Doggy Style platter. Let us know when you're ready to order, hun. Excuse me, I'll be right back -- Mr. Jackson's trying to order off the children's menu again. Michael! Put that down!"Darn... can't stop... better leave now...




Get outta here! Get outta here now!!!!!!
on Aug 22, 2006
good for you
on Aug 22, 2006

A gentleman never says how many or who they have slept with. But I can tell you, that I have never slept with a stranger, and I was in love with everyone I did have sex with.

Good for you Doc!  I always knew you was a gent

, you changed your answer!

I think either some of you have a VERY loose definition of "LOVE" or you are VERY inexperienced in the sack! Haha.

I changed my answer because the first was a little more personal than I wished to get.  I don't have a loose definition of love.  This article is about sex with strangers, there is a huge difference between caring about someone, and loving them than there is to having sex with a stranger.  And if inexperience in the sack means I will have sex with someone I love, then I can live with that.

Casual no strings attached sex can be really fun when you aren't involved with anyone else. Really, after a night out drinking and having a good time, you go home. At least if you bring someone with, you don't have to do it alone.

I can see the attractions of one night stands.  I understand why people do it, I guess it just isn't for me.

Be careful shake an vac

..I've seen it all now.  Sex mad?  Since when?  Your peeping tom days back again?

How do I know this? The YMCA of course. hahahahahah Getting undressed around other women I don't know is freaky. I can't imagine doing it in front of a man I don't know.....~shivers~ no wonder people do it drunk! hahahah.

Haha!  I know what you mean chick.  I could never have that level of comfort with someone that I didn't know, and it would just ruin the whole thing for me.

skipped the entire bar/club scene. I've been in a bar once, and never in a club

You aren't missing much

And that's why i say what I say - having learned what I've learned, I don't intend to have sex outside of the bonds of marriage again. When I truly love someone that much, then I'll be ready to have that sort of relationship again.

Good for you babe.  At least you speak from experience, and you have learnt from them.  You know what you want now, and I am sure you will find it.

Okay, you sucked me in (no pun intended) with your salacious title.

Ahh that was my evil plan.  Whatever it takes to get you to my blog

Is that why women say "Exit only?"

...behave you!

good for you

Thanks

Thanks for all the comments x

on Aug 22, 2006
Even men aren't that stupid!


Yes, we are.


Damn, you beat me to it. I was gonna comment on that one. I thought it was well known that in picking up women men almost always keep doing the same thing. Given enough tries, chances are it'll eventually work once. Once is usually enough to give us the idea that it's a good strategy.
on Aug 22, 2006
Once is usually enough to give us the idea that it's a good strategy.


on Aug 23, 2006
I dont think theres anything immoral about sleeping with a stranger.When it comes to these mindless fuck nights,its just sex,a no strings attached night where you get what you want without the extra baggage,nothing else to it.
on Aug 23, 2006
I've had a few one night stands in the past. I've enjoyed byself, the girl has enjoyed herself and we parted company. Like Tex says, sometimes sex is just sex and the only way to scratch that particular itch is with someone else's fingers (or whatever ). I will say the best sex I've ever had has been with someone I love, though. There is nothing that can replace the physical intimacy of someone you care about.
on Aug 23, 2006
Suck my cock on a one night slam.

You can find me at post code WC2E 9LY. Check me out on Google Earth.
on Aug 23, 2006

I was gonna comment on that one. I thought it was well known that in picking up women men almost always keep doing the same thing. Given enough tries, chances are it'll eventually work once. Once is usually enough to give us the idea that it's a good strategy.

I obviously underestimated the stupidity of men....thanks for educating me

I dont think theres anything immoral about sleeping with a stranger.When it comes to these mindless fuck nights,its just sex,a no strings attached night where you get what you want without the extra baggage,nothing else to it.

I guess it all depends on what you want.  If you are after just sex, and that's it, without any feelings or emotions, then I don't see anything wrong with it.  Different strokes for different folks

sometimes sex is just sex and the only way to scratch that particular itch is with someone else's fingers (or whatever ). I will say the best sex I've ever had has been with someone I love, though. There is nothing that can replace the physical intimacy of someone you care about.

You're a romantic like me Maso...you know I am hopeless when it comes to all this.

Suck my cock on a one night slam

I don't do charity work, but even if I did it, would probably take me longer than a night to find it

on Aug 23, 2006
It's all part of the growing up process.
on Aug 23, 2006
It's all part of the growing up process.
on Aug 23, 2006
I agree with Tex, sometimes sex is just sex.

There's an old saying gamblers say,"What's the next best thing to betting and winning? Betting and losing." Well, I'll borrow from it. What's the next best thing to sex with someone you're in love with? Sex with someone you're not in love with.

I, too, have had the best sex with women I loved (or at least thought I loved). I think if it's with that special someone it brings out more passion. Which why when asked if I masturbated I answered,"Hell yes! It's sex with someone I adore."
on Aug 23, 2006
You're a romantic like me Maso...


Absolutely. I wouldn't have me any other way (erm, did I say that right?)

I am hopeless when it comes to all this


You know, the older I get, the less I realise I know and the more I realise I'm guessing. I think admitting hopelessness is actually taking steps closer to finding the answers. Wow, sorry for getting deep there...

I don't do charity work,


Nice comeback...

Which why when asked if I masturbated I answered,"Hell yes! It's sex with someone I adore."


on Aug 24, 2006
I'm rolling the dice here that I don't get flamed.

They say men have a sexual thought every 7 to 10 seconds. In this mans case, I tend to agree

I look at this as natural. After all, why would they say this about most all men?

Further, I believe it is our prime objective to have sex with another of the opposite gender (born that way); without it the human race would rapidly decline and eventually fail.

How do we define "love"? Is it possible to be loving and well connected with a person previously unknown to us for a night, and never see that same person again?

Anyhow, it seems to me that the "prime objective" is a tough "itch" in many cases to resist. Natural selection seems to be the deterrent more than anything...aside from people trying to judge anothers emotions.
on Aug 24, 2006
"To complete the most intimate act of all with them."

First off I just wanted to say that sex for me is far, far from "...the most intimate act..." and to put it at such a value is rather syntactic and DANGEROUS!

...And to say "I guess some people can just leave their morals at the door and live life for the moment." is rather condescending. Morals are a personal matter. Perhaps it is not morally wrong for some people to get so physical, so fast.

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