Women have less sex than their Grans did!

Published on August 7, 2004 By Sally jacobs In Personal Relationships

The title of this just amused me. I've written a few articles about how womens roles are different, and their views to sex are different, so I won't get to far into it. Comments like "Women have less sex than their Grans did" really does bring home just how times of changed. My Mum thinks at twenty one, I should be in a long term relationship, considering settling down, doing all the things she did. She was pregnant with my sister at eighteen, had her second baby at twenty one, and then me when she was twenty nine. She dedicated her life to bringing us up, and making home for my Dad. That's what the majority of her life has been about. There's nothing wrong with that. At all. She has had a lot of joy and good times out of bringing us up. I want more though, I want the career, and the family, eventually. I'm in no rush. I think she thinks I'm wasting time. I just think like alot of women of my generation.

Prima magazine have done a study on this, and there results showed that with the changing roles of ladies. Women are single for longer, and concentrate more on their careers now. In the 1950's women were getting married at 24 and having babies at 25. Now it's married at 28, babies at 29. Also in the 1950's women were more likely to be stay-at-home wives. They concentrated on keeping their husbands happy. They had more regular sex, and concentrated alot harder on making the relationship work. Now we have our own lives and careers to juggle, without worrying about our partners. Women are much more independent.

I don't really know what to make of all this. I much prefer the times we live in now. To think that my role in life would be to keep a man happy, just doesn't do it for me. there is alot more to life. Having said that, maybe there are certain things we can learn from times gone by. Maybe we are truely missing out on more than we realised. Relationships seem to be put on th back burner, until we sort other things out. Maybe they should be more important. A career is good. A social life is good. Independence is good. Love is great.

Comments (Page 1)

Sir Peter Maxwell

on Aug 07, 2004

I am shocked to learn that you read the Daily Mirror, Sally. This peasant "newspaper" is nothing more than politically correct propaganda. Most of it is written by poofters!

Manopeace

on Aug 07, 2004

Women have less sex than their Grans did!

But...did our Grans really "have" sex, or just lots of kids?

Draginol

on Aug 07, 2004

It depends on what you want to get out of life.

My wife stays at home with our children and I think we have a happier life as a result. And I say we as in our family. A different family may find a different lifestyle makes them happier.

romeo5000

on Aug 07, 2004

A career is good. A social life is good. Independence is good. Love is great.

I reckon! Even unrequited love is great (well, it has its moments)... sometimes I think I might be in love with love.

If my (future) wife stayed at home all the time just to make my life easier, I think i'd just end up feeling guilty. I'd much prefer to share the responsibilities and stuff. Sure i'd appreciate everything she did for me if that was the case, but i'd feel better if she had her own life as well.

web_poet

on Aug 07, 2004

Can't independent careerist women have it all, without unduly sacrificing the pleasant things in life like relaxed sex, chat in moonlight, a walk in the beach. Just a thought. It all depends on our attitude.

M-Post

on Aug 07, 2004

LoL, well I think it all has to do with choosing. Nothing saying a woman can't be a career woman and still want to keep her husband happy. Plus things like One NIght Stands are a lot more common now-a-days than they used to be... and we all know at least for most of them women are involved

David St Hubbins

on Aug 07, 2004

Freedom and order exist at different ends of a spectrum. Generally, one comes at the expense of the other. I believe that the freedom of women has come at the expense of order in the family and society itself. While individually women may be better off, I think overall society itself is worse off. Children - boys and girls - are unquestionably worse off. Women initiate divorce twice as often as men, this figure is well documented. Something to consider.

As I've mentioned before on your blog Sally, I think we spend too much time arguing over topical and ultimately inconsequential matters and not enough time examining the really important fundamental problems like family, marriage, etc. and it's nice to see someone bringing these issues up. Good post.

stevendedalus

on Aug 07, 2004

There is much to praise about love in the 50s; women bravely gave up their careers or war effort for the returning GIs. That a wife is without a life because it is spent on loving and caring for a husband and children, ignores the spirit that a husband was her life and conversely. However, they were not the sex machines that you ascribe to them.

Sally jacobs

on Aug 07, 2004

I am shocked to learn that you read the Daily Mirror, Sally

I'm not a huge fan, it's usually full of crap, but it's nice to get a different perspective now and again.

But...did our Grans really "have" sex, or just lots of kids?

I guess the kids came before the sex huh, hehe!

My wife stays at home with our children and I think we have a happier life as a result. And I say we as in our family. A different family may find a different lifestyle makes them happier.

It is all down to personal preference of course. Though when you have a family things change. Children need to be looked after, and they are priority over everything else.

I'd much prefer to share the responsibilities and stuff.

It's all about balance. You never know, a lady may get alot of pleasure out of simply caring for you, Who knows!

Can't independent careerist women have it all, without unduly sacrificing the pleasant things in life like relaxed sex, chat in moonlight, a walk in the beach.

I'm sure they still have these things. It's more about actually finding the time and energy to do such things. When there are so many other things career wise, life wise going on.

Nothing saying a woman can't be a career woman and still want to keep her husband happy.

Nope, that is true. It happens alot of the time as well. It just seems to put more pressure on relationships.

David I'm glad you commented. You raise a good point too.

While individually women may be better off, I think overall society itself is worse off. Children - boys and girls - are unquestionably worse off

I think family and the meaning of it is worse off. The concentration on its importance seems to be getting less and less. People are more interested in making money and going out, when family issues in my opinion should be number one. You can find a balance, have a career and look after the home, but it won't be easy, at all. Children need love and attention, and the way things are going in todays society, it is more and more obvious they are not getting that.

That a wife is without a life because it is spent on loving and caring for a husband and children, ignores the spirit that a husband was her life and conversely.

I'm sure these women didn't do anything they didn't want to. I'm sure they were very happy in what they did. Are you sure some only did through a lack of choice though?

However, they were not the sex machines that you ascribe to them.

Hehe, sex machines, no. They had more time and effort to put into the art of love making though. They also had more of a need to pleasetheir husbands.

Thanks for all the comments guys

Abe Cubbage

on Aug 07, 2004

There is a theory that women who put off pregnancy until later in life will live longer because such a thing has been observed in laboratory animals.

trina_p

on Aug 07, 2004

I think I must have been born in the wrong Era. I'm 21 married stay at home wife and mother - I have an 8month old. And absolutely no desire for a career anymore. I can't imagine anything else now.

Texas Wahine

on Aug 08, 2004

My husband and I started our family young, and for many years we were both working and in college. I have graduated now, and my husband and I prefer that I stay home with our two young sons. Thinking back on the years that we were both working and going to school, I remember so much stress and worry. Our children were fortunate enough to be able to be cared for by their grandparents while my husband and I were at work or school, but it almost felt like they were raising my children. I can remember getting up in the morning to take my oldest to school and then going immediately to class and from there immediately to a high stress job and working until close to 8 pm. When I would get off work, I would go home so exhausted and grouchy. I had only a short time to spend with the children before they went to bed, and then I would have to start studying. I constantly felt worn out and guilty for not being able to spend more time with the kids. At that point, not working was not an option for me. If I didn't work, we didn't eat. As for sex, neither my husband or I felt like it most of the time. We were both mentally and physically exhausted. Now, however, I am with the kids just about 24/7. We have time to do things like have "Game Night" and play board games or spend an entire day at the beach. I am happy and relaxed. I get joy (and sometimes frustration) from their antics. My husband is in the military and I am able to care for him and make our home comfortable and enjoyable for him. We are able to have time together. With me at home, sex is a daily thing - even a lunch break thing. I feel very fulfilled with this type of lifestyle. (Of course, my husband is deployed right now, so the dynamics are a bit different) I feel that I have chosen to do something worthwhile. However, some women do not have the luxury of staying home, and some women need the mental stimulation and/or adult interaction that comes from work outside the home. Having a career makes them feel good and valued. I think that for those women, work outside the home can be a benefit to their ability to parent. I guess after all this rambling, my point is: it's great to have a choice and I don't want to know how much sex my Gran had! Ewww.

kingbee

on Aug 08, 2004

I don't want to know how much sex my Gran had

yikes!

Sally jacobs

on Aug 08, 2004

There is a theory that women who put off pregnancy until later in life will live longer because such a thing has been observed in laboratory animals.

I don't know much about this, I guess it all depends on your health anyway, and what age you concieve. There must be alot of factors.

I think I must have been born in the wrong Era. I'm 21 married stay at home wife and mother - I have an 8month old. And absolutely no desire for a career anymore. I can't imagine anything else now.

No, I'm sure there are plenty of people that do that. Just all depends on personal choice, and watching your child grow is second to nothing!

Hello texas! That comment got you an insightful, thanks!

As for sex, neither my husband or I felt like it most of the time. We were both mentally and physically exhausted.

That's the point, it's not because you don't want too, it's the time and effort factor. Leading such busy lives does take its toll!

my point is: it's great to have a choice and I don't want to know how much sex my Gran had!

No matter what generation we live in, everyone is different and willw ant different things. I can't even imagine my parents having sex (not that I want to!) nevermind my Gran!

Thanks guys

Gideon MacLeish

on Aug 08, 2004

I think I must have been born in the wrong Era. I'm 21 married stay at home wife and mother - I have an 8month old. And absolutely no desire for a career anymore. I can't imagine anything else now.

Absolutely nothing wrong with being a mommy for a career. My wife is a stay at home mom as well, and I am convinced the children reap the rewards off of that decision.

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