I'm a believer

Published on May 25, 2005 By Sally jacobs In Life Journals

It seems like forever since I last graced the pages of JU. I suppose it has. Really I should return to the world with loads of new information, and tales of what I was doing while I wasn't here. The sad truth is, I haven't really done anything that amazing, or great. Life has kind of just been ticking over. Which I am okay with I guess. I've come to the conclusion there is no pleasing me, when things are hectic, I moan and complain, and when things are nice and slow, I moan and complain. It would seem the moaning and complaining are the only constant in my life, hehe! Madison is as gorgeous as ever. She is getting big so fast, it is rather scary. She has started talking, and is developing a really stubborn streak, I can't think where she gets that from! The most amazing thing is, and I know this sounds rather simple, but she now knows, 'yes' and 'no', so if you ask her questions, she can respond. She still gets them a little confused sometimes, but to think not so long ago, she just ate, puked, and pooped. We are definetly making progress! I remember writing a blog when she was first born, saying how amazed I was that you could just feel such love for something. It would seem that love just grows with everyday that passes. With every new step she takes, every new word she says. Completely amazing.

While I wasn't here I noticed my one year anniversary had passed here on JU. Blogging for a year, surely it can't be! It actually feels like much longer. Things on here seem to be like that. That little bit more intense, and they get that little bit more of you. I have read some of my favourite blogs, on a regular basis. I never commented though, I just wanted to keep up with what people were upto. I doubt this writing a blog will become a regular thing again, I think that ship has well and truely sailed, you never know though, I could get the bug again. There is definetly something good about getting your thoughts and feelings down. Even if the majority of it is stuff other people couldn't care less about. I mean do people really care what a chick from England is upto? I highly doubt it! Considering I'm never really upto that much, haha!

I've got myself a new boyfriend, it is very early days at the moment, and he is a bit of a sore subject right now. He is generally a nice guy though. He makes me laugh too, which is always a plus. I was watching something the other day, and someone said, that the older you get the more difficult it is, to introduce new people into your life. I got thinking about this. When you are young, you are always open to new people and open to new ideas. You are still shaping as a person, and you're more likely to take on new things. As you get older, you get more set in your ways, new things don't come along everyday, new people are less easy to meet. Don't get me wrong, you still meet them, but no where near on the same scale as you do when you are younger. Newness is the key then. I know I am still young, I see this with me and John at times though. We are completely set in our ways. We both have things we do, and things we like to do, and certain ways of doing things. That often aren't what the other person would do. I find this hard sometimes, to fit in with someone else. I know it is all about give and take. What if you're fitting in with the wrong things though? What if they don't fit at all? *Sigh* I think my whole problem is I look into things to deeply, instead of letting them run their natural course. I try and second guess them, be that step ahead of the game. It never seems to work though, I need to learn sometimes it's easier to go with the flow of things, they usually lead you to the right place anyway. Yes, go with the flow!

Me and Kermit are still friends, which I think is quite amazing. I really didn't think we would stay friends, I thought things would kind of just fizzle out, till we never felt the need to talk to each other anymore. I think there is a chance that things could still go that way, but it is nice we can still be friends. The great thing, he isn't just a friend, he is a really good friend. It's nice to have him still in my life. Before I met John, I thought no one would match up to Kermit. Not because he is so perfect, or so brilliant, because he isn't. Just because in my eyes he was so perfect and brilliant for me. John doesn't match up to him, he is just different. There are little things that are similar, but they are completely different people. I've learnt things about Kermit recently that have made it easier to be distant from him. Things that have made me realise me and him are so much better off as friends, and I am so happy to be in that place. He could of never given me the things I wanted from him, through no fault of his own. It's just the person he is. As a friend he can give me what I want and he can be a damn good friend too. Feelings are not that easy to switch off, but if I have learnt anything, it is, I can't be always lead by my heart. I still get twinges every now and then. You have to move on though, and accept things the way they are. Which is what I am trying to do. Just to have him in my life is good enough for me.

I think that is it for now. I will try and be a little bit more regular, but no promises

Comments

Kermit

on May 25, 2005

If you want to be more regular, try prunes.

Sally jacobs

on May 25, 2005

Hey!!! LW! Nice to see you back here, the place wasn't the same without you

. *waves*

Justice For Jews

on May 31, 2005

BIG HUGSXXX

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