"Conversation should be pleasant without scurrility, witty without affectation, free without indecency, learned without conceitedness, novel without falsehood."
Published on November 26, 2004 By Sally jacobs In Misc
I have this annoying friend, who has an office job. Her favourite task for her work filled days, is forwarding me stupid e-mails. Which tell me that unless I pass this on to one hundred people in ten minutes I will die a horrible death, or something along them lines. Usually when I recieve these little treasures from her, I just delete them, without even opening them. This one had quite an interesting title, it went along the lines of.....

SALLY I KNOW YOU HATE THESE, BUT YOU REALLY MUST READ THIS ONE, IT IS VERY IMPORTANT!!!!!!!

Now against my better judgement I opened this one. This is what I recieved.....

Metropolitan Police Issued
This Newsletter October 2004 MUST BE READ

Through a Rapist’s Eyes

A group of rapists and date rapists in prison were interviewed on what they look for in a potential victim and here are some interesting facts:


1 The first thing men look for in a potential victim is hairstyle. They are most likely to go after a woman with a ponytail or other hairstyle that can be easily be grabbed. They are also likely to go after a woman with long hair. Woman with short hair are not common targets.

2 The second thing men look for is clothing. They will look for woman whose clothing is easy to remove quickly. Many of them carry scissors around to cut clothing.

3 They also look for women on their mobile phone, searching through their purse or doing other activities while walking, because they are off guard and can be easily overpowered.

4 The time of day men are most likely to attack and rape a woman is in the early morning, between 05.00 and 08.30 am.

5 The thing about these men is that they are looking to grab a woman quickly mover her to a second location where they don’t have to worry about getting caught.

6 Only 2% said they carried weapons because rape carries a 3 – 5 year sentence, but rape with a weapon is 15 – 20 years.

7 If you put up any kind of a fight at all, they get discouraged because it only takes a minute or two for them to realise that going after you isn’t worth it because it will be time-consuming.

8 These men said they would not pick on women who have umbrellas, or other similar objects that can be used from a distance, in their hands. Keys are not a deterrent because you have to get really close to the attacker to use them as a weapon. So, the idea is to convince these guys you’re not worth it.

9 Several defence mechanisms he taught us are: if someone is following behind you on a street or in a garage or with you in a lift or stairwell, look them in the face and ask them a question, like “what time is it?” or make general small talk, “I can’t believe it is so cold out here, we’re in for a bad winter”. Now you’ve seen their face and could identify them in a line-up, you lose appeal as a target.

10 If someone is coming toward you, hold out your hands in front of you and yell “stop” or “STAY BACK”. Most of the rapists talked to said they’d leave a woman alone if she yelled or showed that she would not be afraid to fight back. Again, they are looking for an EASY target.


Now most of this is common sense, I guess. The one that freaked me out the most was the time of day men are most likely to attack and rape a woman is in the early morning, between 05.00 and 08.30 am. I go jogging in the morning, usually about 7am. I don't go in the park, but I go quite near one, so this did worry me slightly. Speaking as a young woman, I can say sometimes I do get quite paranoid when walking down the street, when there is a bloke behind me. Just wondering what they are upto. I know I shouldn't. They are only walking down the street, but we have this fear factor. We are made to be scared of everything. Of course we should be aware of things. It is good that we are. I just think it's sad that a guy can't even walk down the same street as me, without me wondering about him.

After recieving this e-mail, the next day on my morning jog, I was more paranoid, about everyone I came across. No ponytail for me, and I even wondered if I should of taken an umbrella with me! I know I shouldn't make light of this information. It is very helpful. I just don't want to live my life scared. We are all so scared of things. It's sad that we can't trust people as much anymore. That people you don't know, are no longer just a friend you haven't made yet, but a potential threat to you. When I have children i want them to be able to play outside freely. I want them to explore, without fear. The way things are going, that won't be the case. It's all very sad.

Comments
on Nov 26, 2004
I know exactly how you feel, sally. I have a neighbor that is constantly telling me tales of women on base who have been raped (or robbed) since their husbands are deployed. I have spent so many nights in bed unable to sleep, just listening for someone breaking into my house. Her stories have made me very paranoid.

The email you've quoted here was generally things you already knew, and I'm sure that you conduct yourself in a very safe manner -- the email did you much more harm than good. I feel for you, because it's not like you can forget it and be un-scared now. Some people get pleasure from sharing bad, alarming news.
on Nov 26, 2004
Maybe I'm reading between the lines too much here, but it sounds like rapists are lazy cowards at heart. I think all of those could be summed up as 'inconvenience the potential rapist and he will likely leave'. And I agree the world is a scary place, and that is very sad
on Nov 26, 2004
This is scary Sal..Actually my friend just forwarded me an email something like this. I remember when I first moved to the city i was terrified of being attacked. Now I've been here a while I guess I've gotten kinda complacent- believe it or not it's pretty safe here.

It's easy to get paranoid..the world is a scary place, but you can't let it take over your life. You could always buy one of those panic buttons if you're really worried.

Dyl xx

on Nov 26, 2004
This is related to something I posted in my blog last night about jogging in quiet places.

I think it's best to avoid lonely places in wee hours of the morning, be aware of your surroundings and maybe take up a self defence class if you can. I would get one of those panic buttons too.
on Nov 26, 2004
Long hair, pony-tails, early jogging, searching around in bags, running away from potential threats...

sounds like I'm a prime target for those whackos. Gotta change something...

Good article Sally!
on Nov 27, 2004
This is something we got mailed to us at the psych unit a while back (i HATE the fact we are used as a bloody bail hostel at times)
BTW what Uni you at?
on Nov 28, 2004
The thing that's interesting about this email is that it is talking about attacks made by someone unknown to you, where as statistics show that the vast, overwhelming majority of rapes are carried out by someone known to you.

Of course keep your wits about you, and don't feel stupid about knocking on someone's door or changing where you are heading if you feel threatened. But at the same time, that guy who's walking behind you at 5:30 in the morning is more likely to be concerned with getting himself to bed after a big night, or being pissed off that he has to be up that early to get to work.

It's sad but true that you have to watch out for those you know!

Suz xxx
on Nov 28, 2004
I have spent so many nights in bed unable to sleep, just listening for someone breaking into my house. Her stories have made me very paranoid.


Awww hunny! I keep a baseball bat under my bed. Which is more for piece of mind, than me actually using it on someone! I'd be to busy having a panic attack. As long as you make things safe and secure you should be ok. There's only so much you can do, and worrying solves nothing! Stay safe sweety!

but it sounds like rapists are lazy cowards at heart.


I think that sums them up perfectly. Especially the coward part. I tell you, I would kick and scream, and then kick and scream some more, there is no way I would just keep quiet. Nothing he could do to me would be worse than that. It is very sad, we should remember there is alot of good things too! Sometimes the good is forgotten about!


It's easy to get paranoid..the world is a scary place, but you can't let it take over your life. You could always buy one of those panic buttons if you're really worried.


My nan got me a rape alarm for christmas last year. Odd I know. I've never used it, I don't see how they owuld be much use. No one is going to grab you on a busy street where there are people anyway.

This is related to something I posted in my blog last night about jogging in quiet places.


I read that after I wrote this one Raven. Sorry I wasn't stealing your idea!

sounds like I'm a prime target for those whackos. Gotta change something...


The friend who sent this to me, told me she had a ponytail in when she read this, and changed it into a bun! I didn't see the point, but whatever made her feel better!

BTW what Uni you at?


I'm at Manchester Met, fun!

where as statistics show that the vast, overwhelming majority of rapes are carried out by someone known to you.


Trust you to know the stats! It's the same for someone killing you isn't it? More likely to be a family member.....which would make sense for me! I know to be careful, you can get over paranoid though, and I hate that!

Thanks for all the comments folks xxxx