Why do men always cheat?

Published on October 7, 2004 By Sally jacobs In Personal Relationships

Just to clarify, I don't think ALL men are dirty rotten cheats. Just the majority of them, hehe...no sorry....I think that both men and women are just as capable of these acts, but I'm taking this viewpoint because of a discussion I had with someone.

According to this someone, men are made to cheat. They are incapable of remaining faithful to anyone, where as women are. Because we are not sexual creatures like men. This person says he has been madly in love on several occasions with people, but has always cheated on them. Because sex was handed to him on a plate, so he couldn't turn it down, because, he is a man after all. Hmm...I don't buy this. Anyway I looked up a website that gives reasons for men cheating....here are some of the excuses....

Some people cheat on their partners. What are some of their reasons for cheating?
1. No longer feeling satsified/stimulated in current relationship. Too cowardly to end relationship or is concerned about financial/living situation if they break up.

2. No longer interested in monogamy, likes various sex partners.

3. Craves the initial excitement and illicitness of a "secret" affair.

4. Needs to feel desired, and thinks current partner doesn't desire them.

Not all men cheat, though, so don't view every man as a potential cheater. You need to trust someone to have a good relationship, and remember that a cheater's actions are fully their responsibility.

Well I don't know why other men cheat but I can tell you what would be my reason. My wife and I have been married for 25 yrs.( she is 44 and I am 45) and had a good sex life up until about the time she turned 40. Things have went downhill from there. She will want to have sex about once every 2 months or so. I would like to have sex at least once every 2 weeks. I have considered cheating for this reason.

Because we are men. By the way, all men will cheat given the oportunity. Men that don't cheat probably aren't all that attractive to be honest. Women should understand that in most cases there is no lack of love for the wife. In fact if wives would find the occasional partner for their men then marriages would be in much better shape.

Guys cheat because many of them increasingly feel powerless in a society that is giving women more rights & powers in the domestic & public spheres.

Women are assuming positions previously allocated to men, & as a consquence, are behaving more like the "macho male" - the man who is burly & loud and can get away with anything.

Some of these are quite good reasons...the 'just because we are men' reason doesn't wash with me I'm afraid.

Comments

Ravenblack

on Oct 07, 2004

I don't think any of the reasons are very good. There's always the choice to do the proper thing. They know they shouldn't, they do it anyway. Cheating is conscious act -- nobody ever cheats accidently.

Cheating is cheating, but cheaters always have a bunch of excuses.

oneofus

on Oct 07, 2004

I don't have time now to give a more detailed explanation, but here a two reasons that to me seem quite logical:

1. As a male of the species, the men have the biological urge to mate with as many females as possible to ensure the survival of their genetic material - just as a female has the urge to mate with the best male available. We may not aknowledge this urge but it is preprogramed into our subconciusness and undeniable. A sight of a beautifull women, a touch or smell will excite us without our concisous approval and remind us that we are 'civilised' only a few thousand years and before that we were fighting each other to get each other's female.

2. 'The money on the street problem' - if there's money on the street, and (in your opinion) it will hurt no-one to take it - will You not? You need to have very strong will not to do that and also a strong reason. And men don't necessarily connect sex with emotional commitment so they will take sex ('money from our example') from the street if they think no one will know about it and no one will be harmed.

KarmaGirl

on Oct 07, 2004

As a male of the species, the men have the biological urge to mate with as many females as possible to ensure the survival of their genetic material

Didn't know that was scientific proof. What about other species that mate for life and only mate with their one mate? Or, are you saying that we are not that evolved?

And men don't necessarily connect sex with emotional commitment so they will take sex ('money from our example') from the street if they think no one will know about it and no one will be harmed.

So, that is saying that the wife, who he made vows to, wouldn't be hurt if she all of a sudden realized that she was dying of aids because the ho of a man that she is married to didn't think that cheating and not telling wouldn't hurt anyone?

Draginol

on Oct 07, 2004

Humans are predisposed to be slightly polygamous. But not very. Monogamous species have males/females that are the same size (it's more complicated than that but it boils down to that physical difference).

That said, humans are supposed to be rational. And I don't agree that most men cheat.

CamMeg

on Oct 07, 2004

It is my opinion if either the male or female of a relationship cheats on their mate they have severe insecurities within themselves and are extremely selfish.Refusing to take responsibility for controling their actions.The thought of not hurting their partner if they are not aware of the affair is ridiculous. If this individual conciously is aware this action will hurt their relationship. When your in a loving relationship you know your partners behaviors and when they are hiding something it shows in those behaviors. The secret affair is difficult for these individuals to keep secret, behavior change will shout something is out of the ordinary.

By failing to communicate their needs and commiting this act this individuals couldn't possibly believe it is just a physical act still maintaining their full commitment with their spouse. If this is their belief it shows there is no respect on their art towards their partner not only for commiting the act itself, for not communicating these needs,taking away their partners choice of whether they are willing to resolve in a way these actions are not necessary or to just end the relationship itself.

We are civilized HUMAN beings that have the ability to control our actions and desires this seperates us from the animals. So the arguement "I am a MAN and have these uncontrollable needs" is a ignorant selfish statement.

Have a good day~!~

~Peace,Love,Health & Happiness~ Extended to all

Brenda Holiday

on Oct 07, 2004

There is the argument that men have an animal instinct to spread their seed. So when they cheat it is not becasue they do not love thier wife or girlfriend but it is their animal instinct to pro-create.
I think it is all grabage. People cheat becuase they can. Becasue they want to.
If you are really in love and are really happy you make the choice not to cheat. You don't want to. The temptation is always going to be there though . Just becasue you are in love it does not mean that you just stop finding people attractive. When you are in a relationship be it marrige or boyfriend/girlfriend, you choose to be with that person and that person only. But you also choose to cheat.

Theophilus Thistler

on Oct 07, 2004

I fully agree with CamMeg and Brenda.. This guy just sounds like he's just making lame excuses for the fact the he isn't happy in relationships and can't commit. Sure... temptation comes everyone's direction in one way or another, but strength of character causes you to choose and not give in.

Men that don't cheat probably aren't all that attractive to be honest

Yeah... whatever you have to tell yourself to cover up the fact that you're probably a man-whore

While I agree that the reasons given are reasons that people cheat, they are probably caused by deeper relationship issues and not because of male instinct.

Sally jacobs

on Oct 08, 2004

Cheating is cheating, but cheaters always have a bunch of excuses.

I couldn't agree more, there is no excuse for it.

A sight of a beautifull women, a touch or smell will excite us without our concisous approval and remind us that we are 'civilised' only a few thousand years and before that we were fighting each other to get each other's female.

So it takes men longer than a few thousand years to evolve....that makes sense, hehe!

And men don't necessarily connect sex with emotional commitment so they will take sex ('money from our example') from the street if they think no one will know about it and no one will be harmed.

I'm sorry I don't buy that. Men can't just claim ignorance, and say that's why they do it. It won't wash with me.

that is saying that the wife, who he made vows to, wouldn't be hurt if she all of a sudden realized that she was dying of aids because the ho of a man that she is married to didn't think that cheating and not telling wouldn't hurt anyone?

Good point. There are other issues to consider not just the cheating.

humans are supposed to be rational. And I don't agree that most men cheat.

We may have these urges, but we are supposed to be rational, and capable of weighing up the issues. I think it's pretty even, when it comes to men and women cheating, they are as bad as each other.

The thought of not hurting their partner if they are not aware of the affair is ridiculous.

It certainly is ridiculous. That they somehow think they are protecting their partner by not telling them! Please! Keep it in your pants in the first place!

So the arguement "I am a MAN and have these uncontrollable needs" is a ignorant selfish statement.

Well said CamMeg..you got my insightful

...it is garbage....it's all about choices, and making the right ones!

Just becasue you are in love it does not mean that you just stop finding people attractive. When you are in a relationship be it marrige or boyfriend/girlfriend, you choose to be with that person and that person only. But you also choose to cheat.

Exactly, we all have instincts, we all find people attractive. We don't need to act on it though. If we are in a relationship, and dedicating ourselves to that one person, then we can look, but don't touch. It's simple really.

temptation comes everyone's direction in one way or another, but strength of character causes you to choose and not give in.

Yeah this guy is lacking all of that. Bless him.

I agree that the reasons given are reasons that people cheat, they are probably caused by deeper relationship issues and not because of male instinct.

Yup, that people just aren't willing to face.

Thanks for all the comments folks xxx

Sir Peter Maxwell

on Oct 09, 2004

It is a man's right to cheat on his partner, without these tendancies the human race would have not survived past the Black Death!

When a man cheats, it is God's will.

When a woman cheats, it is disgusting.

England & Saint George

Floozie

on Oct 09, 2004

I agree with most of the reasons given here for men to cheat. I do NOT however think that they excuse it in anyway. There is always a reason for our actions - it doesn't mean it's justified. I think that anyone who cheats is cowardly and pathetic. And there's no excuse for that!

Great article!

Sally jacobs

on Oct 10, 2004

When a man cheats, it is God's will.When a woman cheats, it is disgusting.

I agree with the disgusting

I think that anyone who cheats is cowardly and pathetic. And there's no excuse for that!

Ha! You go girl! I couldn't agree more!

philcotton

on Oct 20, 2004

i agree their is no excuse for us men to cheat, i have cheated on my partner, which is my own fault, if i had spoken to her and told her how i really feel this would not have happened. it was exciting, bad, naughty at the time, it is totally the opposite when you get found out. we are cowards an cannot say no when it is offered cause we think we are invisible, it make us feel good which if we let our partners do we would not need to look afield.

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