I don't think I take life very seriously. I have a friend that worries about every element of their life. Worries about the future, the past. I'm not completely heartless. I just tend not to worry about the important things. Recently I found a lump on my breast. At first I wasn't worried. Maybe I wanted to bury my head in the sand, maybe I thought it would go away. I checked it regularly and realised I had to do something about it. I went to the doctors, and it turned out to be nothing. I was worried about nothing. I didn't mention this to anyone, and it's been a good few weeks since this happened. I didn't see the point in sharing with people. What's there to say? You can hardly bring it up easily in conversation. You can hardly say oh and by the way I found this on my boob. It's just not something you say. I don't regret not telling anyone. I didn't need someone to hold my hand, in fact I think they would of made it worse. Because by telling someone that would of made it oh so real. Maybe by keeping it to myself, I could deal with it, without having to deal with anyone elses thoughts on it.
If it had turned out to be something. I would have told people. I wouldn't of broadcast it. I doubt I would of blogged about it. I would of told a select few people. There are two, maybe three people I would have definetly told. I don't even know why I'm blogging about this. It wasn't a huge thing, because I didn't allow it to be. I remained realistic about it. Looked up information, and tried to remain level headed, but thinking about it at a later time. When it isn't so personal anymore. I don't know. It's so easy for these things to happen. One minute you can be living your life normally, and the next something life altering can happen and change your perspective on things dramatically. I don't think about my future to much. I don't know what I will be. I don't know if I'll have a career, if I'll have children, if I'll get married. I don't know if I'll be happy. I would like the chance to find out though. Maybe these things are sent to give you that kick up the arse, that we all sometimes need.