For a while, I worked in a card shop while I was at college, they sold all kinds of tacky things. Including these keyrings that had these funny saying on them. I had two favourites, that sum up my personality very well.
" You're depriving some poor village of its idiot"
And
" Heaven won't have me, and hell is afraid I will take over"
So I found this website, that had more of these quirky little sayings, and I just had to share. I have a simple mind! Please feel free to add your own!
ACTUAL BUMPER STICKERS
"Out of my mind. Back in five minutes."
"Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot."
"Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let him sleep"
"It's as BAD as you think, and they ARE out to get you."
"I took an IQ test and the results were negative."
"Warning: Dates in calendar are closer than they appear."
"Give me ambiguity or give me something else."
"He who laughs last, thinks slowest"
"Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else."
"Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies."
"Consciousness: that annoying time between naps."
"Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home."
"3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't."
"Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?"
"Have you drugged your kids today?"