"Conversation should be pleasant without scurrility, witty without affectation, free without indecency, learned without conceitedness, novel without falsehood."
Published on September 23, 2004 By Sally jacobs In Life Journals
She sat. She stood. She paced. She sat again. She looked at her phone. She sighed. She lay down finally giving into the sleep that was creeping on her so badly. She couldn't get him out of her head though. No matter how badly she wanted to shake it. No matter how much she wanted a clear head, she couldn't. Why couldn't she let him go. Let him ride away on a wave of good times. Why couldn't she free him from her mind, even for a short amount of time. She lay there in the dark. Just thinking about him. Was this obsessive? She felt it was. She didn't want to feel like this. She sat up again. She needed to shake these thoughts. How to do it though? Maybe if she thought of all the times he annoyed her, maybe if she could work herself up to be angry with him now. So the fluffy thoughts she was having about him would disappear. That she wouldn't ache for him to be next to her, that she wouldn't want to hear his reassuring words, that she didn't secretly hope he was aching for her too. Why couldn't she be free.

Did free mean she was alone? Alone to enjoy her own company. Would she still feel like this if she was free? She had always thought she was in control of her own feelings, then she had met him. Even after meeting him she had been under the deluded impression she controled her own feelings. She didn't though. He didn't control them either. Though she was sure he liked to think he did. It was more than that though. This feeling that was now stopping her from sleeping, was more than that. It was beyond any ones control no matter how much she tried to talk common sense into herself, she was having none of it. She didn't like this feeling. At all. She had noticed that with feelings though. No matter what they were, you didn't have control of them. It took alot of work to exercise a level of control on them. You could try lying to yourself maybe. Try convincing yourself that you were heartless. She felt sorry for people who succeeded at doing this, because as much as this feeling bothered her she wouldn't be without it.

She wondered if he was thinking about her at this moment. She doubted he was. Maybe the doubt was what was bothering her the most. If she knew he felt the same, she would relax somehow. She felt silly. For thinking, for wondering. She was wandering into land that didn't belong to her and she had to back off, she knew it, but could someone tell her feelings that please. Sat in the dark. Trying desperately to remember all the times he irritated her. She remembered them. The feelings of hurt. The need to want to cry. They were over-shadowed though. By all the good times. All the making up. All the things that gave her a shiver down her spine. He was special. Why did she try to doubt it? Why did she fight it?

She knew why, She felt guilty for it. Missing him wasn't allowed. Yet she missed him, every second he was gone. She lay awake thinking about it. She went through her day thinking about it. She sat at her computer, writing about how she missed him.

Comments
on Sep 24, 2004
You've just expressed my thoughts of a very similar situation pretty-much perfectly. Feeling blinded - in that you don't seem to notice anyone else and their directed attention at all, all-consuming - not an hour goes by that you don't think of them (hell, you even wake up at night dreaming and thinking about them), tingly - like no one has ever made you feel before, complete - like when you ramble on for extended amounts of time about them to 'usually caring people' who lose interest after about the first 25 minutes, totally unfulfilling in that unrequited love kind of way...

It's been damn hard for me to try and get over it and every time I think I am, BANG!, I'm back to thinking about her again. Or maybe I think I see her in the street and my heart jumps a beat. It could even be a little thing like seeing her last name on an advert or sign - right when I least expect it. Not mention the emotional and mental back flips I pull when I see her sometimes!

The guilt, the doubt, intense feelings, worry that I'll never find another like her, that I'll be alone forever, that she might be 'the one' and I've missed or blown my chance. I really just feel like giving on love sometimes.

This is pretty much the reason I haven't blogged in a while. I'm often preoccupied with thoughts of her and just want to write about it, but after what happened last time... forget that!

I was thinking (and then I felt kinda strange about the possibility of making money off my own and other peoples misery) about collaborating with you to write a self-help book about unrequited love and break-ups. It'd sell like hats at a bald man's conference! For sure! I also don't recall ever seeing another book like it, so we could fill a hole in the market and all that hoo-haa. Residual income and all the trappings that come with a best-seller, we could retire to our destinations of choice and live the easy life

Whatcha reckon?

(Maybe I really should put this into an article... or not... I might link to it... we'll see..)

Continually loving your articles Sal! Thanks for being so open
I'd love to say something encouraging to help you out but I seem to be in the same sinking boat....
Hrrmm... well let's see... Just try and stay distracted and be in a position where you don't remind yourself of him. It seems like the hardest thing in the world to do right now, and it probably is, but keep your chin up and take the world head-on and all that other cliche'd crap...
on Sep 24, 2004
Wayne I know exactly what you're saying, and I know that this situation has being difficult for you to get through. You're a great guy though, and you will come through the other side. I think it might help to blog. I will keep checking until you do .

collaborating with you to write a self-help book about unrequited love and break-ups. It'd sell like hats at a bald man's conference! For sure! I also don't recall ever seeing another book like it, so we could fill a hole in the market and all that hoo-haa. Residual income and all the trappings that come with a best-seller, we could retire to our destinations of choice and live the easy life


Excellent idea, when shall we start????
on Sep 26, 2004
Ohh Sal..You're tops! Here I am trying to sympathise with you about how crappy this whole love game is sometimes and without batting an eyelid, you just up an encourage me about _my_ situation... Thanks heaps!

When do we start? Uhhh.... lets see? Page One I guess? Maybe the title? I'm not sure. I've never written an international best-seller before...

I think we should though. I know I have a few in me. I can feel it! (/end sarcasm)
on Sep 27, 2004
Here I am trying to sympathise with you about how crappy this whole love game is sometimes and without batting an eyelid, you just up an encourage me about _my_ situation... Thanks heaps!


No need to thank me Wayne. It's what friends are for right?

I think we should though. I know I have a few in me. I can feel it! (/end sarcasm)


Oh I defo have a few in me (no sarcasm, hehe!)