"Conversation should be pleasant without scurrility, witty without affectation, free without indecency, learned without conceitedness, novel without falsehood."
Arranged marriage is a concept I never really got my head around. I went to a school that had alot of different ethnic groups there. It was also an all girls school. I remember there was Indian girls there, who weren't really interested in work, didn't really care about the usual girly stuff, like how they looked, what the boys thought. Because? They were having an arranged marriage, their life was already set out for them. They didn't have to worry to much, put faith in their parents, and hope for the best. There were other girls facing arranged marriage that weren't so positive about the whole ordeal. That believed in true love, and finding it themselves. They may have already had boyfriends, and saw it as some kind of Romeo and Juliet. That they were star crossed lovers, and this just made their love even stronger. There was all kinds of views on the subject. Some people excepted that was the way life was going to be, and others fought against it, as though their life depended on it.

True love is the most wonderful feeling in the world. Second to none. That feeling of having someone in your life that you adore. That you live for. That your world revolves around. Perfect, perfection. How easy is that person to find? For some, very easy. They meet, fall in love, and live happily ever after. For others it takes longer, and for some people it never happens. Some think they have found it, and then it goes to pieces and they are left with a broken heart. So is true love really worth it? My opinion, yes it is. No matter how long I go not having that person, I won't sell out, for an easy option. I'd prefer to be alone, than ruin the chance of me not having that feeling of true love.

Then there is the arranged marriage option. Or should that be lack of option. You are givn a partner that you are expected to learn to love. There is no searching for the right guy. No dating loads of freaks before you find Mr Right. You are told who Mr Right is, and you have to deal with it. You're given the security, someone to share your bed at night, and all the things that come along with having a relationship. It is secure. I'm sure it can be filled with love. For some people I can see the attraction. It is the easy option. I realise the whole world doesn't think like me. That not everyone has loads of romantic notions, and that they want true love. A marriage of convienience will suit some people. They will get what they want, and that's that.

There is a theory about love. If you spend alot of time with someone. You will eventually grow to like each other. If you are forced to spend, day in, day out with someone, some kind of bond will form. Now it could obviously go the opposite way and want to kill each other, but if there is some kind of common ground there already. The bond will just grow. Especially if you both want to make it work. Alot of relationships start between work colleagues. Why do you think that is? Because they spend day in, day out with each other. They are learning about each other, and as they probably spend that much time with anyone else it is convenient, yet it could be true love. There are Billions of people in the world. So how do we know if we really have our true love. Are we really just settling for what's best on offer, never really knowing what the full choice is? Can that then be considered true love. Or is it simply blind love? I'll be asking you to define love next!

It is a complicated thing. Maybe it would help, if at birth we were just paired off with someone, and at eighteen we came together, got married, and lived happily ever after. If only life was so easy huh. I think it would take all the passion. All what love is worth, and ruin it. I'd prefer to be alone than in a loveless marriage. What's the point. I can understand why some folks would take that loveless marriage. Being alone sucks.

Comments
on Sep 19, 2004
sally,

As a Maxwellian, I am truly shocked that you would disparage arranged marriages! You've seen the struggles that he has had with his progeny (his son and the welfare mom, his daughter and the lesbian relationship which he was fortunately able to end), and the end result that comes from an intermingling of peasantry and nobility (both classes are damaged by this interbreeding!).

Only through a well established system of arranged marriages can we truly insure that our offspring will carry on in the proper manner. As a peasant, I would not want to intermingle with nobility, as my child would be a "mutt": not good enough for the noble class, yet too good for their peasant environment. I would rather instill in them noble values to teach them how to achieve to the maximum potential that their peasant class standing would allow!
on Sep 20, 2004
Thanks for the comment ( Is that Gideon???) I understand what you're saying, arranged marriage has certain advantages. I guess I'm just a silly romantic!
on Sep 21, 2004
I wrote an article on the matter a while back... I guess it's a toughie... I think the customs should stay in the old country... well, archaic and out dated customs like arranged marraiges at least... It's hard for us as outsiders to observe the situation, because it is years and yeasr of tradition, and some of these girls can be happy with the arrangement, but i really feel for those that aren't...

You know Mandy comes from such a family, and it is her fathers wishes that she has an arranged marraige, alas, I think the individual should be able to choose, and I know if my parents tried to set me up with some bird i didn't know, I certainly would not be happy...

BAM!!!
on Sep 21, 2004
I agree totally Mugz, it's a tradition we will never understand fully, because we are outsiders looking in. For some it will work, and ofor others it won't, simple. Living in the society we do now, times are changing and so are the people. Some traditions may need to change with the times too

Thanks for the comment