"Conversation should be pleasant without scurrility, witty without affectation, free without indecency, learned without conceitedness, novel without falsehood."
I love you?
Published on September 6, 2004 By Sally jacobs In Personal Relationships
Life is about love. That all important special someone. I'm a romantic, shoot me. An idealist. I would love to be. I have realism to though baby. I buy into all this nice stuff for so long, then my cynical side comes and gives me a big huge kick in the ass, and reminds me that the world isn't so damn rosey after all. Prepare myself for a fall before the world does it for me. Oh yes my friends, that is how I think. Anyway, not making much sense here, as I was saying. I do like to believe in love. Growing up, I believed everyone was like my parents, meet young, fall madly in love, marry young, have children, grow old happily together. That's how it works, right? Things such as cheating, and such never even popped into my tiny little mind. I just thought it worked like that. How sadly mistaken was I. It would appear my parents were very lucky, and I was simply born into the wrong generation for my romantic notions to ever exist. For now it seems I am not going to follow in their footsteps. Not that I nessecarily want to, but some of it would be nice.

By the time my Mum was twenty one, she was married, and had a baby, and had another baby on the way. She was happy to settle down into her role as housewife, while my Dad went out to do the work and provide for his family. They met when they were fourteen, love at first sight. Neither have ever strayed as far as i know, and i can't imagine either ever wanting to. Because I see that passion in their eyes even now. I see how they love each other, that hasn't dulled over time. It's grown, they have this amazing understanding of each other, that I can't even begin to comprehend. They laugh at the same things, that a sane person wouldn't even consider to be funny. They were lucky. They were, that doesn't happen every day, and it doesn't last thirty years, and still going strong. I'll keep saying it, they were lucky. Now as much as I would like to meet that one person who rocked my world. I wouldn't be willing to settle down, stay at home like a good little wife, and do all that kind of stuff. Don't get me wrong, if I had kids, I wouldn't want to leave them, but I don't feel ready for all that at the moment. My Mum thinks I'm insane, she thinks I need a man. That it's odd, I haven't followed her footsteps. It would be super lovely to one day get what she has with my Dad, someone to grow old with, but I don't know folks, that cynical side is kicking me in the ass again.

Love is a complicated thing. Because it is so difficult to define. What is love? How do we know when we are in love? We just know, right? That's what people say. It is a feeling, that is so great, words can't define it. Until we experience, what love isn't, surely only then we know what love is? That's what most people view it as, trial and error. Like my kissing so many frogs theory. People date, meet people, have sex with random people, all because they are looking for that certain someone? People are sometimes made to feel like there is something wrong with them for not having someone. They seem to have to be able to say, ohhh my boyfriend did this, or my girlfriend does that. Having a partner is like having the latest designer watch. You do it to fit in. So this wonderful, beautiful thing called love gets cheapened. People are with other people for the sake of, so they just have someone. So they have someone they kind of like, who they put up with. Not someone they adore, who makes them happy on the darkest of days, who gives them goose bumps, who gives them butterflies in their tum tum, who quite simply rocks their world. We make do, and don't hold out for what's right. So what happens then after being with someone for thirty years?

Them three little words......" I love you " change into them all more important three little words...." I tolerate you "

Comments
on Sep 06, 2004
Actually, you're not entirely on the money. I can tell you that at 9 years, those 3 important words have changed from "I love you" to "where's the remote?"
on Sep 06, 2004
sally: I enjoyed this post. I'll bet that a lot of women feel the same way you do on this.

I personally feel so lucky because I know that I don't deserve the wonderful guy I've got. I didn't do a lot of searching for him. He was just there. Things aren't always perfect, but neither of us expect them to be, and that's what makes it work.

You are such a thoughtful, intelligent, fun, adorable gal, and I hope that when (if) you decide you are ready to settle down, you end up with a guy that is just as cool as you and who can appreciate all the wonderful things about you.

And it's not "where's the remote" . . . it's "kids, go play!" he he he . . .
on Sep 06, 2004
those 3 important words have changed from "I love you" to "where's the remote?"


Bwahahahha - that made me laugh ever so much.

Great blog though Sally... when it comes to Love and tolerance, this story reminded me of my own family. My Step father needs to be commended for sticking through love to tolerate my mothers kids - i.e. Me and my siblings. He wasn't only marrying her, her was marrying into a fully (dis)functional family, and as anyone who knows any other family will testify to, thats not the easiest task in the whole world...

He was constanlty tormented by my brother and I, and there must have been many times when he was questioning why exactly he was courting my mother, but as is the case - Love means tolerance as well, and because he loved my Mum, he was able to tolerate my brother and I even though we were annoying shits, and absolutely like nothing he could have imagined when entering into a family... and I thank him for his perseverance, because my Mum is really happy now... no thanks to us kids...

BAM!!!
on Sep 07, 2004
Love is a complicated thing


We should appreciate that fact.....just think if it wasnt so complicated....would you appreciate it went you fell into it?

Top blog SallyJ

on Sep 07, 2004
We should appreciate that fact.....just think if it wasnt so complicated....would you appreciate it went you fell into it?


Like mutant shark men right Cass? Just think, if they weren't so awesome and radical - would we be so scared of them?

Love can be a lot like mutant shark men

BAM!!!

on Sep 07, 2004
What the crap?!?! Mutant shark men? I think I just woke someone up with my sudden outburst of laughter You crack me up
on Sep 07, 2004
those 3 important words have changed from "I love you" to "where's the remote?"


Hehe, trust you Gid!

I personally feel so lucky because I know that I don't deserve the wonderful guy I've got. I didn't do a lot of searching for him. He was just there. Things aren't always perfect, but neither of us expect them to be, and that's what makes it work.


Of course you deserve him hunny! It takes alot of work even when you have that special someone. I know this, and it's good you both pull together, through the good and the bad. Apparently, the less you search the more likely you are to find your prince charming!

You are such a thoughtful, intelligent, fun, adorable gal, and I hope that when (if) you decide you are ready to settle down, you end up with a guy that is just as cool as you and who can appreciate all the wonderful things about you.


*blushes* Thanks, I'll just have to hope I guess. I'm sure he's out there somewhere, hiding from me!

My Step father needs to be commended for sticking through love to tolerate my mothers kids


That's a difficult situation, he must love your Mum greatly to be willing to take on the challenge that is you, hehe!

he was able to tolerate my brother and I even though we were annoying shits,


You annoying??? *shocked*

and I thank him for his perseverance, because my Mum is really happy now


It's all about give and take, love does not come easy, it takes work and time. People often don't realise that, but that's what it takes to make it work.

We should appreciate that fact.....just think if it wasnt so complicated....would you appreciate it went you fell into it?


I couldn't agree with you more. That goes for alot of things, we wouldn't know how great they were, if we didn't feel the bad times too.

Love can be a lot like mutant shark men


...I have nothing to say about your strangeness.....

Thanks for all the comments guys xxx