The sad life of girl gangs

Published on August 30, 2004 By Sally jacobs In Misc

I've just watched a documentary that has wound me up beyond belief. This programme was originally about girl gangs. To see just how bad the 'gang' situation was in England. This programme followed three young girls. Fifteen or sixteen, and what they go through day to day. They totally infuriated me. Rude, ignorant and stupid is what they were, and I have hardly any sympathy for them. The man that did the documentary thinks they are a product of society. I think that, that's an excuse. I hope each of them sees this programme in years to come, and is totally ashamed of their behaviour. Because in my opinion it was completely unacceptable.

The first girl, was fifteen and had just had a baby. She was in a girl gang that liked to steal cars, joy ride them, and then sell them on. She said she would stop when the baby was born. Which to be fair she did, but it made her start to hate the baby. You should of seen the way she handled the baby, no care or love. Just rough and harsh. She said the baby had ruined her life. Stopped her having fun. She then met a man, who she moved in the home with her and the baby, after just knowing him for week. From then on, you only saw him take care of the baby. Her life was all about mini dramas within her group. Someone had said this, someone had done this, they were going to beat this person up. OMG! How annoying.

Next there was a girl who didn't think she needed to go to school. She couldn't get up early enough, and she didn't think she had to. She was to good to be getting up at 7.30am in the morning. Then she had to be in school for six hours a day, no way! So she didn't go for six months, in her final year of school. They found her a special school for troubled teens, that started at 1pm in the afternoon, still she refused to go. She was bullied, when she was bullied the only thing she could do to make her feel better was pick on people less than her. Random people in the street, she was abusive, violent, and aggressive. It showed her terroizing people, and getting a good kick out of it. She may have her problems but so does everyone, that behaviour is just unacceptable.

Finally there was a girl who would die for 'crew' as she put it. Anyone hurt a member, they would hunt them as a group, and beat them up, or do whatever to them. She was also aggressive to random people, and tried to start a fight out of everything. She didn't seem as bad as the others, she was just loyal. Towards the end of the programme her 'crew' was falling to pieces and she was realising there was more to life, so maybe there was more for her.

The film maker of this, said this programme made him realise there was a story behind every face. So true. Everyone has their own story to tell if people will take the time to listen. I don't think it excuses any of that behaviour. It just made me sick. I've seen my sister act like this, towards people she know won't say anything back to her. She'll walk down the street and think people are looking at her the wrong way. My sister is in her early thirties. There is no excuse. It's just bullying. It makes her feel powerful for a few seconds. It makes me wonder what's lacking in her life, that she needs to do that to people to make her feel good about herself. It was a very sad insight into the life people lead. Hopefully they grow up, and don't end up like my sister.

Comments

Ravenblack

on Aug 30, 2004

We have girl gangs too. I remember a case where a girl gang tortured one of their own. They somehow managed to keep the victim in one of their homes, tortured, beat up the victim and made her have oral sex with a dog. It is sick. These girls were ranged in the age 13-18. It is frightful how nasty they can be. News reports alleged that the girls had a lack of supervision at home and parents who didn't give a damn what they do.

>>Someone had said this, someone had done this, they were going to beat this person up. OMG! How annoying.
Typical of how gang fights of any gender starts. A staring incident, a territorial incident, someone's looking at someone's interest etc..

>>She was bullied, when she was bullied the only thing she could do to make her feel better was pick on people less than her.
>>She didn't seem as bad as the others, she was just loyal.

The majority of these members crowd around a charismatic and seemingly strong leader character. They would do things to be accepted by the gang. Might be that it is due to weak will or self esteem, low confidence in oneself. These people sometimes feel that they can't belong anywhere else, and seems easy enough to just go along with it just to have company.

zweihander01

on Aug 30, 2004

Whenever I see someone like them, I always think, one day they'll screw with the wrong person, and that wrong person will be carrying a .44 Desert Eagle.

Its hella difficult to harrass strangers with a hole in your chest.

Floozie

on Aug 31, 2004

Was this show called 'Rude Girls'? I started watching a little bit of it and had to change channels so i'm not as well informed as you about the subject matter. However, maybe i am one of the people in society that is allowing this to continue because I don't want to look at the reality of it. I agree that these girls need to take responsibility for their own actions but at the same time we live in a society which would prefer to sweep this kind of thing under the carpet rather than do something about it. Yes, they are to blame, but in my opinion it is not only them.

I saw a little boy - I'm talking about 6 years old - being walked home by his Mum at about midnight the other night. The snippet of conversation I overheard is as follows -

'Next time that little fucker tries to bully you, you fucking tell him 'My Mum says you're a little cunt and if you fuck with me, she'll fuck with you' That should sort the little shit out'

Now what sort of future can this kid expect when his upbringing is centred around violence and bad language? This sort of behaviour keeps being passed on through generations as people don't know any better. I bet the girls in this documentary came from low socioeconomic families and probably can't imagine there ever being much of an improvement in their quality of life. As such they are probably acting in a way that makes them feel like they have more control. I don't condone their behaviour, but I think I can see what may be underlying it.

Anyway - I could argue this (both sides) all day. Great article!

TheCassMan

on Aug 31, 2004

People like this are trapped in an awkward situation. The blame lies on their guardians, their friends, their environmental surroundings, bust most importantly themselves

They often whinge about the poor state of their life - but they refuse change
They want to care and be cared for - but they are so quick to push help away
They devalue the lives and possessions of others - but are quick to act when theirs are in jeopardy

What hope is there? It is unfortunate that it easy so easy to criticise and look down on said people, hell it makes us feel better about our lives. But devising a solution/remedy is always the part that people are eager to shy away from

While we are not often put in the situation to make a change for the better, we do constantly have the opportunity to never make the situation worse...

Sally jacobs

on Aug 31, 2004

These girls were ranged in the age 13-18. It is frightful how nasty they can be. News reports alleged that the girls had a lack of supervision at home and parents who didn't give a damn what they do.

I'm sure there are alot of issues that lead to these situations. Home life, social standing, enviroment, but that is no excuse. For people to be that capable of hatred, that's down to them as a person in my opinion.

Typical of how gang fights of any gender starts. A staring incident, a territorial incident, someone's looking at someone's interest etc..

They should just pee in certain areas and be done with it!

These people sometimes feel that they can't belong anywhere else, and seems easy enough to just go along with it just to have company.

I know this is typical of teenage behaviour, to want to fit in and so on, but commiting such acts is just taking it to far in my opinion!

Whenever I see someone like them, I always think, one day they'll screw with the wrong person

Yeah I know what you mean, and one day that is bound to happen, and they get a taste of their own medicine. No matter how bad you think you are, there's always someone out there who is that bit bigger and badder.

Was this show called 'Rude Girls'?

Not sure.....I missed the start of it, and was just flicking when I came across it, was on BBC 2 I think!

I agree that these girls need to take responsibility for their own actions but at the same time we live in a society which would prefer to sweep this kind of thing under the carpet rather than do something about it.

Society doesn't see a way of dealing with this behaviour. Young people are a delicate issue, and as such the law is very sketchy on how to deal with them. Young people of today are smart, they know what they can get away with, they know they will get away with alot more, than we would like them too. Of course people don't want to accept our next generation are like this, but until we do, I can only see it getting worse.

This sort of behaviour keeps being passed on through generations as people don't know any better. I bet the girls in this documentary came from low socioeconomic families and probably can't imagine there ever being much of an improvement in their quality of life.

I agree with you honey. There lives, enviroment etc have a huge impact. Their adult role models were just as bad, I can see why they go down this path. I also see lots of other teenagers in the same positions as them, NOT following the same behaviour problems. They are a product of society, but at some point we are going to have to make them responsible for their actions, rather than making excuses. Until we get tough on them, we have no hope.

Cassman! Hello! Welcome! Ok over my excitment.....

They often whinge about the poor state of their life - but they refuse changeThey want to care and be cared for - but they are so quick to push help awayThey devalue the lives and possessions of others - but are quick to act when theirs are in jeopardy

It's a tough situation. They want help, but don't know how to accept it. They view life as a fight. A battle, them against the world. They think everyone is out to get them. I feel bad for them, but I don't think it's my sympathy they need.

What hope is there? It is unfortunate that it easy so easy to criticise and look down on said people, hell it makes us feel better about our lives. But devising a solution/remedy is always the part that people are eager to shy away from

Totally agreed. That's the problem, how to solve this problem? I think we need to get tougher personally, I think tough love is the way to go. I think more power needs to be given to teachers, and authority figures in general. I think youth need that element of fear again, because at the moment they are scared of nothing.

While we are not often put in the situation to make a change for the better, we do constantly have the opportunity to never make the situation worse...

Oh so wise! We'll end on that I think!

Thanks for all the feedback guys!

Jay Walker

on Sep 06, 2004

This is a huge problem. Dr. Gordon Neufeld has written a book about it called "Hold onto your kids". Peer-oriented children. It's hard to read it and not agree that this is a serious problem plaguing westernized society. I highly recommend the book for any parent of pre-school or school age children, whether or not you are currently having any trouble with them.

Peer Orientation:
This is the from the website of Dr. Gordon Neufeld, Ph.D. Link, a developmental and clinical psychologist who has developed an enthusiastic following among many parents. What he has to say about kids and socialization is compelling, especially regarding his concept of peer orientation. Here are some excerpts:

"The term peer orientation refers to getting one¹s bearings by using peers as one¹s compass point as well as to taking one¹s cues for what to do and how to be from one¹s peers instead of one¹s parents, one¹s teachers, the adults in charge or one¹s self."

"To orient by one¹s peers is to identify with them, to locate oneself in relationship to them, to use them as home base, to evaluate oneself in comparison to them, to define oneself by referring to them, and to perceive one¹s worth as in their eyes. Peer-oriented children take their cues for what is good, how to look, what to wear, how to talk and what to do from their peers."

"When children resist proximity with parents in order to pursue proximity with their peers, there are devastating consequences for parenting and development. Likewise in school, when peers are selected over teachers as the working compass point of the student, learning and behaviour will be adversely affected."

"Peer-orientation is an explanation for much that is happening in our society, including why teaching is getting harder, parenting is getting more difficult, aggression among children is increasing, children are less deferring and bullying is increasing. It is a dynamic that touches everyone, whether involved with children or not."

JW

Sally jacobs

on Sep 07, 2004

Jay thankyou so much for that insight. It really is a problem, that needs to be controled. These kids are getting worse rather than better. Peer pressure is a huge part of it. Growing up is a hugely difficult time for teenagers, they want to fit in, be accepted, find out who they are. They are drawn to fitting in, which means alienating parents, teachers etc. It is natural, but in some cases it is taken to far. Thanks for the comment x

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