Brit girls who pay Thais for no-strings Sex

Published on August 16, 2004 By Sally jacobs In Personal Relationships

We are all fully aware of female prostitution. Some of us don't have a problem with it, and actually embrace the fact you can go out and pay for sex, other people have moral issues with it. That you don't know what diseases these girls have, that it just disrespects women in so many different ways. This is a predominately male thing to do. It is rare to hear of male prostitutes, though they do exist. There was a debate on tv about the females who were going to Bangkok to use male prostitutes. That's right, women playing for sex. Is it any different to men paying for sex? Or is it ok for women to go over there have some fun. These men are aids tested and so on, it is done in a clean establishment. As the article I have linked explains. So whats the problem? We live in a mans world, but as we know women are becoming more and more independant, and taking on more male roles, so is this just an inevitable step?

The debate on tv was very interesting, before I give you my personal view point, though I'm sure those of you who read my stuff regularly already know what that it is. Now on the tv there was only women debating this, and as I'm female, I'm lacking a male perspective on this, but the two arguments were as follows. One lady thought that if it was ok for men to do it, so why not women? Why should sex be any different for any other service you can pay for. Why does it have a certain stigma. Is it not safer, than young girls going on holiday, and picking up random men, and having sex with them. At least this is in a safe enviroment, where they know what they are getting, and there should be nothing to be ashamed of. The other lady had the view that women shouldn't have to pay for sex. That women do not have the same sexual needs as men, that they don't have to belittle themselves enough to ever have to pay for sex. That they were just trying to compete with men on every level, and that this was just taking it to far.

My viewpoint as with prostitution regardless of sex is wrong. I just can't understand the concept of people being willing to pay for sex, and what's even worse is people are willing to sell it. Male or female, I disagree with it. Having said that I understand both of the arguments above, I can understand both perspectives, though I don't entirely agree with either. I agree women paying for sex is taking it that step to far. That for their own self respect they shouldn't want to do that. I can also understand the attraction, if they want sexual needs taken care of, if they want to feel special, and they only feel they can get that by paying for it, I understand, but I don't agree. I can never imagine paying someone to kiss me, to spend time with me, to have sex with me. I personally could never imagine doing any of that, as it would cheapen the whole thing for me. These people have my pity, I'm sure they don't want it, but they have it anyway. For the short term it may make them feel good, but that's it, short term. The question is, is it really worth it? I don't think so.

Comments (Page 1)

on Aug 16, 2004

I'm sure SPM would be happy to tell you why prostitution is quite acceptable in every sense. Of course, given how you signed up, I'm sure I didn't need to tell you that:)

Shovelheat

on Aug 16, 2004

It's not for me, but I can understand it. Especially the "no strings" part. Therein lies it's appeal as far as I'm concerned.

historyishere

on Aug 16, 2004

A relevant comic

I was originally going to post that comic link as a picture, but I think that would have been bad netiquette.

Now, I have never sought the services of a prostitute, nor will I probably ever do so, but I think that consenting adults should be allowed some lattitude when it comes to their personal affairs. A huge part of me thinks it is tacky to want to have sex with a prostitute, but my own moral reservations shouldn't effect what others want to do. "Shouldn't" want to is not a compelling enough argument for me. There are a lot of things that I think people shouldn't want to do, but I wouldn't stop them if they really wanted to do them.

The people you pity, if told of your feelings on the subject would probably accuse you of being a prude or puritanical, but I don't think that would be right either, as you aren't saying that can't do that... only that they shouldn't want to which is a different matter entirely.

Sally jacobs

on Aug 16, 2004

I'm sure SPM would be happy to tell you why prostitution is quite acceptable in every sense.

...I certainly know where he stands on it, and good luck to him. Just because I don't want to do it, doesn't mean I think other people shouldn't!

It's not for me, but I can understand it. Especially the "no strings" part. Therein lies it's appeal as far as I'm concerned.

I'm with you on that, I can understand it, but not something I would personally wish to do!

...it made me smile though!

I was originally going to post that comic link as a picture, but I think that would have been bad netiquette.

A huge part of me thinks it is tacky to want to have sex with a prostitute, but my own moral reservations shouldn't effect what others want to do.

I agree with you. Just because I think it's wrong, doesn't mean it is, I know that. I fully understand why people do it, and what they get out of it.

if told of your feelings on the subject would probably accuse you of being a prude or puritanical, but I don't think that would be right either, as you aren't saying that can't do that... only that they shouldn't want to which is a different matter entirely.

When it comes to things like this, I probably am a prude. I can admit that, but I'm happy being that way. I have high moral issues when it comes to things like this. I know that's just me, I do have the view each to their own though. I just question the reasoning behind it.

Thanks for the comments folks xxx

Sir Peter Maxwell

on Aug 16, 2004

I can understand an English chap buying a Thai woman but a English woman buying a Thai man is ridiculous when you consider the superiority of the western male compared to the Thai male. In fact it is rather like these women living in a mansion but renting a park bench as a holiday home.

Sir Peter Maxwell

on Aug 16, 2004

Also I would like to add that is is immoral and against Gods will for a women to use the services of male prostitutes.

Gideon MacLeish

on Aug 16, 2004

I think that adults should be able to make decisions like this, even if I may not agree with them. I also think that this is an interesting response to the double standard of most of the prostitution industry. Thanks for the post.

cinnamonstone

on Aug 16, 2004

You are right Sal they don't want your pity. Prostitution is the OLDEST and I mean oldest work in the world. Until we stop seeing sexuality purely within the realm of "romance" and love and realise that aside from breathing the sex drive represents man's and woman's single most powerful driving urge we are going to continue to have to hear these kinds of debates. (it is actually a biological imperative the need to have sex). That we continually seek to control what is a natural function, usually through some imposed social construct such as marriage, monogamy or shame shows how much we do not understand about ourselves.

I do not have a problem with prostitution as long as it is conducted within the perameters of safety and respect. The problems with prostitution stem from the problems of exploitation that can arise in those situations, primarily in the case of women and children. Child prostitution is, of course abhorrent that goes without saying. But in a controlled environment, conducted safely and fairly consenting adults is not a worry.

Some have argued that marriage and defacto's where the one partner doesn't work and trades sexual favours and the keeping of home and hearth as simply another form of prostitution, acceptable because we couch it in romantic terms of love etc. Interesting concept. If you marry or live with someone and in return for your keep you take care of the house, and have sex with the person which fosters a close bond and they in turn support you financially and emotionally. People say "but its LOVE" but I argue that if you stopped caring for the house, kids and having sex with your partner you'd be out on your ear fairly quickly. So in a way this argument has merit. You are trading "favors" of one sort or another for love and care. And NO this isn't a bad thing, but it is an interesting way to look at the whole construct.

CHEERS
Cin

Texas Wahine

on Aug 17, 2004

Sally: Interesting post.

Some have argued that marriage and defacto's where the one partner doesn't work and trades sexual favours and the keeping of home and hearth as simply another form of prostitution, acceptable because we couch it in romantic terms of love etc. Interesting concept.

Hmmm . . . maybe I should share this idea with my husband . . . he might think it's kinky . . .

Sally jacobs

on Aug 17, 2004

In fact it is rather like these women living in a mansion but renting a park bench as a holiday home.

hehe, I like this Peter! I totally agree

I also think that this is an interesting response to the double standard of most of the prostitution industry.

There is a double standard. Surely it is the same thing? Though people seem to view it very differently!

Cin, first of all that response got an insightful. Thanks....

Until we stop seeing sexuality purely within the realm of "romance" and love and realise that aside from breathing the sex drive represents man's and woman's single most powerful driving urge

Sorry I can't do that. I can't separate sex from love, and I refuse too. Many people managa without having sex, many people wait till they are in love and in my opinion that is the way it should be. People give it up far to easily now, and that is the whole problem. The act of love-making is cheapened, because apparently it is just feeding a sexual need. Love is so much more than that.

The problems with prostitution stem from the problems of exploitation that can arise in those situations, primarily in the case of women and children. Child prostitution is, of course abhorrent that goes without saying.

This is a whole problem, I didn't even touch on in this article. Especially with the exploitation of children, I feel that is a whole other blog, as sad as it is.

hehe, I see where you are coming from with this. This isn't just a sexual relationship though is it. There are emotional ties here, and a bond is built. They don't simply have sex and that is it. They don't keep home in hope their partner will return home and have sex with them, as payment. Though I see why you said this, and you were giving perspective, I don't agree.

Thanks for all the comments guys xxx

Sally jacobs

on Aug 17, 2004

Hmmm . . . maybe I should share this idea with my husband . . . he might think it's kinky . . .

....it could fill an afternoon for you at least

kingbee

on Aug 17, 2004

while i dont see anything worse or better about selling sex vs buying it, and i dont have any moral reservations bout the transaction, except when a portion goes to benefit an agent, i dont have any interest in participating. dating is bad enough

it's difficult for me to believe that anyone with any sense--and not possessed of a death wish--would opt for the professional sex workers of thailand as a first choice when choosing a vendor.

AndyBaker

on Aug 17, 2004

Sally, it’s an interesting slant on the subject of prostitution to highlight male prostitutes. For some reason, it feels natural to think that it’s “different” from female prostitution. But of course, it’s no different at all.

The fact that there are male prostitutes out there, and women who choose to pay for them, demonstrates to me the rich variety and different flavours of human life and individual people. With all things considered, I think you’re right in concluding that paying for sex is “wrong”. But I think that it’s only “wrong” when it’s considered from within the context of human wholesomeness, goodness, and ‘perfection’. (You mentioned the word “prude”, and I think that word might be apt, regarding that particular context.)

However, if paying for sex is considered from within the deeper context of human growth and learning, (which includes the ‘base’ levels of the human condition), I think that to conclude that it’s “wrong” is too dogmatic and narrow. Repeating a point from earlier, consider the analogy of a three year old who dribbles his food down his chin, and who falls over whilst learning to walk and run. Now consider a twenty-eight year old who eats with knife and fork and runs in good stead.

Which of these two conditions is more ‘perfect’ than the other? Is the twenty-eight year old, who eats properly with knife and fork, any more “right”, or “wrong”, than the three year old, who dribbles food down his chin?

What I'm trying to say is that the words "right" or “wrong” are out of context, and don't really make much sense. In my opinion, this same principle applies on a larger scale to the journey and growth of a human being. People who may choose to pay for sex in order to satisfy their base-nature desires, or who may be wanting to fill a hole, striving to find affection or love in such a crude way, might be the equivalent of the three-year old, who dribbles food down his chin, and falls over whilst learning to walk. Those who can see that paying for sex is not an “integral” or wise thing to do, might be the equivalent of a twenty-eight year old, who has a more mature outlook on life, a better sense of identity, and who can function more wisely in the world than those who are younger or more emotionally immature.

In order to make better sense of this analogy, in my own opinion, we have many lifetimes on earth, and each life enables us to grow more, learn more, and become wiser and stronger than the lifetime before. So maybe the whore who spends her entire lifetime selling her body, whilst finding no sense of contentment, love or self-worth, is a three-year-old for the duration of that particular life. The prostitute, whether male or female, would deserve just as much acceptance and compassion as anyone else, (whether that love is returned or not). This principle, I believe, enables us to understand the meaning of “unconditional love”, and provides us with a glimpse as to how God might perceive us.

Apologies for the religious connotations, but only by considering the nature of the bigger picture am I able to make any sense out of the life of a whore, and also my own personal experience of paying for them, (female ones that is, just for the record.) But whatever our views, another good blog Sally!

oneofus

on Aug 17, 2004

I just don't understand why they (the girls in the article) have to go so far to get what they want when they could probably get male prostitutes in every bigger town. And Great Britain being a multi-racial country, they could probably get thai-males without problems. OK it's cheaper in Bangok, but the trip there eats up the savings...

Sally jacobs

on Aug 17, 2004

i dont have any interest in participating. dating is bad enough

...tell me about it

it's difficult for me to believe that anyone with any sense--and not possessed of a death wish--would opt for the professional sex workers of thailand as a first choice when choosing a vendor.

The terms 'quick' and 'easy' spring to mind! It's just an easy place to go, and people know why they are there, and what they are going to get!

Andy, hehe, I've being waiting for your input, as I knew you wasn't going to agree with me....here goes...

But I think that it’s only “wrong” when it’s considered from within the context of human wholesomeness, goodness, and ‘perfection’. (You mentioned the word “prude”, and I think that word might be apt, regarding that particular context.)

Ahh I fully admit to my prudishness on this subject. On a personal level that is the only way I can view this, because it goes against what I believe in.

Which of these two conditions is more ‘perfect’ than the other? Is the twenty-eight year old, who eats properly with knife and fork, any more “right”, or “wrong”, than the three year old, who dribbles food down his chin?

Hehe, me and you are going to disagree on this one again! I see what you're saying, and you have a perfectly valid point in what you say but its just an excuse. These people are being compared to a three year old? They have sexual needs that they want to be taken care of, they are willing to pay someone, they are willing to risk all kinds of diseases, they are willing to lower another human being to that level. Where they have to sell their bodies. None of that to me is right, and it's not about these people being less evolved or whatever. Sex and love for me go hand in hand. I know that it's not a realist outlook, I know that in todays society that doesn't fit in, but its perfect for me.

The prostitute, whether male or female, would deserve just as much acceptance and compassion as anyone else

I fully agree on this one. Though I am against prostitution, and I would never use one, and I have all these opinions on the lifestyle. I would never just judge a person on that, whether they sold their body, or paid for it. It is all down to personal preference, and what isn't for me, could well suit someone else. As long as they can live with themselves, and that life, I am no one to judge them.

Apologies for the religious connotations, but only by considering the nature of the bigger picture am I able to make any sense out of the life of a whore, and also my own personal experience of paying for them, (female ones that is, just for the record.) But whatever our views, another good blog Sally!

No apologies necessary, that comment earnt you your usual insightful. Though we don't fully agree I totally respect your views on this, and thanks as always for the comments! I thought you'd stopped reading my stuff now you know I'm a baby, hehe

Thanks for the comments guys xxx

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