Am I a JU fake?

does it really matter if I am?

Published on July 29, 2004 By Sally jacobs In Blogging

If I come across rude in this blog I don't mean to, and I apologise, but this subject is really starting to wind me up, so here goes.

As I've said on many occasions I value honesty a great deal. I do. People win my trust, and their honesty will keep our friendship strong. I'm honest on my blog. I tell people things that go on in my life. I voice real thoughts and opinions on things, I am the real me. I'm not though. I don't tell you everything about me, there are parts of me that I won't be sharing, because it wouldn't give me the capability to write what I do, for me to be me. I have to not say things about me. Does that make me a liar? No. In my opinion it doesn't. Because I don't want to be judged on certain things, does it mean I'm fooling the people of JU by not sharing them? I don't owe the people of JU an explanation about anything, just like the people of JU do not owe me anything. They give me parts of themselves, and I'm very grateful for the parts I see. That doesn't mean that they should tell me everything about themselves. I've built up friendships with people, and I'm honest with everyone I come across. I don't play on peoples emotions to get attention. I am me.

Part of the attraction of JU is we all have that air of mystery, we can be technically who we want to be, we maybe shy, not very confident, we may have things going on we feel we don't want other people to know. I feel that privacy should be respected. Not everyone wants to give away all of themselves so easily. Not everyone is liars, and just because we have been burnt, everyone else should not be judged by the same standard. For people to think they have the right to expose people, infuriates me. It really does. The one situation that was dealt with, was correct because peoples emotions were involved, I fully support that, but give people the privacy they wish. This is our blog to write what we like. It should be respected. I don't think I'm voicing ths opinion very well.

I don't use my real name on my blog. Does that make me a fake? I don't discuss my full home situation? Does that make me a fake? I hope people don't see it as I am. If you do, so be it. I have a great deal of respect for alot of people here, and if I found out there was things they weren't telling me to save their privacy, I'd still respect them. Because I have respect for the way people write, their views on things, the way they think about things. That can't be faked.

For that reason I trust you JU.

Comments (Page 1)

Mandeep Sahota

on Jul 29, 2004

You tell em' girl! lol

I think everyone should respect people's privacy. This article kind of showed me that I haven't been private at all, but I don't have many articles either. I mean I use my real name, someone can just pull that identity theft commercial on me, But It's highly unlikely they want to get my identity as I don't have many credit cards,and the one I have is maxed out...... anywho

was there a situation that started this topic for u Sj?

WiseFawn

on Jul 29, 2004

Well said, and how it needed to be said! Your article gets my insightful. I've actually had people trying to demand answers from me. This is the secomd time in my JoeUser's life that I feel sorry for the new writers. I can't imagine on some days what their opinion must be. Great article!

CS Guy

on Jul 29, 2004

You're a chick. Chick's lie. So no big deal.

To paraphrase Chris Rock:

You wear make-up. Your face don't look like that!
You wear bras. Your tits don't look like that!
You wear high-heels. You ain't that tall!

Lengirl

on Jul 29, 2004

I think that everyone on here shares as much or as little as they want or possibly need to. A little bit of our true selves will always come out, however here we get to be free and as you say:

"Part of the attraction of JU is we all have that air of mystery, we can be technically who we want to be, we maybe shy, not very confident, we may have things going on we feel we don't want other people to know."

I'm new to JU and don't really know anyone, or the full expectations of behaviour etc, but I enjoy writing and sharing. From this I too only write as much or as little as I feel I need to. I don't tell everything or share everything, but I don't think I'm lying or faking. The things I write are true and meant, but maybe just not quite as deep as they could be. The closer I become to people the more I will open up and the more 'indepth me' will come out. Till then I'll keep on floating through.

Good article, thanks.

dharmagrl

on Jul 29, 2004

Are you a fake? No, you're the lovely Sally!

Just because you don't share 100% of the intricacies that happen in your life it doesn't make you a fake. What you do share, you're honest about, and that's what matters.

I don't tell everyone everything about what goes on with me either - partly because it's incredibly boring and I don't want you all to fall asleep, but partly because it's none of anyone else's business.

The article I believe sparked this off was more about people who are fake and offensive with it....not accidentally offiensive either, they seem to go out of their way to offend people and then use their persona as an excuse or explanation.

Hey, how come I'm not on your 'Go and have a look' list?! I'm offended by that! (I'm kidding)

CS Guy

on Jul 29, 2004

Hey, how come I'm not on your 'Go and have a look' list?! I'm offended by that! (I'm kidding)

I'm on it! So ner ner ner!

I don't really care how much people reveal here. If they want to remain mysterious and vague, that's fine. If they want to reveal every detail of their life, that's fine too. The difference is not one of a "fake" user versus a "real" user.

There are details about my life that I do not share here. Often those omissions are not deliberate. Most of my deliberate omissions are because of the secure nature of my employment. For example, I'm not supposed to tell people the name of my project (of course, since they give us shirts with the name and logo that seems like a silly rule to me). I've never mentioned what university I attended or where I taught, and while that has been a deliberate omission I can't really say why I've done that.

M-Post

on Jul 29, 2004

Yes of course you are a liar SJ!! Hehe, I'm just kidding ya... I have a feeling if people registered not revealing all of yourself as a lie, then all of us would be vagrant liars.

You can always respond to any question you don't like with something along the lines of "I'm not comfortable answering that" or such... the anonymnity of the internet allows for a lot of lee-way when it comes to disclosing your personal life.

dharmagrl

on Jul 29, 2004

ve actually had people trying to demand answers from me.

I know that i am one of those people, WF,

Me too. The way I see it is this...if I blog about something, I'm going public with it and it is therefore fair game for questions. If I don't want to answer questions about it, I don't blog about it.

I'm pretty open and honest about most stuff. There are some things that I don't blog about, because, like I said, I don't think it's anyone's business but mine (and my husband's).

Shulamite

on Jul 29, 2004

Um, I don't tell any "personal" info. No need. And I could've just written the article you did; I mean you spoke my mind for me. I like the name I chose and I think it says something about me my real name doesn't. Insider info, there! I love writing honestly and fervently. What's the point of writing dishonestly and lukewarmly? If you accomplish that better by leaving out your birth name, address, social security number, and work history, then kudos. Sally -- you rock.

Sally jacobs

on Jul 29, 2004

Awwww...can i just say you are all wicked, and thanks for understanding this rant

This article kind of showed me that I haven't been private at all, but I don't have many articles either.

It's all down to personal choice, people here know my real name, it's not like I was properly hiding it, I just thought I'd make up a name because I can, good imagination I have huh, lol!

was there a situation that started this topic for u Sj?

A JU blogger was believed to be lying on here, about somepretty awful things that gained her sympathy from some of our more caring bloggers. When this person was found out those that invested time and emotion into this person were obviously upset, and rightly so, because the issues lied about were not issues you should ever lie about. Ever since some articles have appeared about people lying here, etc, with good reason. I just felt it had gone to far.

I've actually had people trying to demand answers from me.

Wisefawn, as always your comments are greatly appreciated, and I'm glad you liked the article. You have the right to be who you want to be, and to save which ever parts of yourself you wish. Your privacy should be respected.

You're a chick. Chick's lie. So no big deal.

...CS I'm sending you a cyber slap, cheeky boy!

The closer I become to people the more I will open up and the more 'indepth me' will come out

First of all Lengirl, welcome to JU, it truely is a great place to be. It just takes time, and building up the trust. This site is full of lovely people, who will appreciate what you give them. It's about the way you feel comfortable writing!

Dharma, I'm sure that's true, but the article in question I just felt went about it in a cruel manner. I can't really explain it, and I have nothing against the writer, I have a lot of respect for them, it just made me feel like all of us were under question. In my opinion it was one isolated incident, that was done by someone who having read recent blogs by them, I know why they made up a fake life. I just want us all to remember how great people are here, instead of being under question...did any of that make sense?

Hey, how come I'm not on your 'Go and have a look' list?! I'm offended by that! (I'm kidding)

Hehe.....two reasons, first of all I'm pc retarded, and you wouldn't believe the amount of time it took just to get them few people on there, and secondly people go to your blog anyway because its so fab....when I'm brave enough to tackle it again you will defo be added!

don't really care how much people reveal here. If they want to remain mysterious and vague, that's fine. If they want to reveal every detail of their life, that's fine too.

Ditto, it is down to what you want to write about on your blog. Everyone feels comfortable sharing different things!

i also have toenail fungus on both my big toenails and suffer from nasty boils wherever i sweat? Nope, its just that some things are too gross to blog about, lol,

.....you make me giggle! Thanks for the wise word LW, we do choose how much we share, and if we do share it, and leave comments open, we should expect to be questioned on it, if that's what people want to do. When I'm writing I always try and think of what qestions will be asked, so I can cover it in my blog.

Make yourself happy, sally, share what you are comfortable sharing....and piss on the rest

Exactly, and that's what I do. I don't see it as fake at all.

the anonymnity of the internet allows for a lot of lee-way when it comes to disclosing your personal life.

Hehe posty! Soooo cheeky! That's why we're here, because we have a certain amount of anonymity and I share things i don't discuss with good friends, so that's got to say something!

I love writing honestly and fervently. What's the point of writing dishonestly and lukewarmly?

I would find it impossible to not write honestly. Writing about issues I believe in and bother me, and my opinions on things, that is the real me, without a doubt, and I don't think many people can fake them things

Sally -- you rock

I've come over all embarrassed, hehe! Thank you Shulamite!

In my opinion you all rock

M-Post

on Jul 29, 2004

*gets out his English to American Dictionary* Ahhh... Cheeky is good!!

Muggaz

on Jul 29, 2004

Ralph thinks your alright Sally

he trusts you implicitly!!!

BAM!!!

Phoenixboi

on Jul 29, 2004

Hey Sally

I agree with what you have said. I think this article may have been sparked off by my post about masks. I posted that for good reason because I want a response from the people on here to what is going on on this site. There are people on here who are posting articles which are extremely offensive to alot of us, and what I am surprised about is that nothing is being done about it.

Sure dont read it if it offends you. But when it is enciting hatred, and there are others on here who are encouraging it, whether it is a joke or irony or whatever then it is something that sends alarm bells to me, because it questions the mentality and the motivation from the people who encourage, it erks me to think that people encourage the sort of bad taste, without a disclaimer..not everyone is going to be in on the joke, and when that joke follows you from thread to thread harassing and continuing the insults then doesnt that say something?

Im sorry if i made you feel uncomfortable Sally with my post, but it is bringing the rats out.

Ravenblack

on Jul 29, 2004

I don't think people are fakes for keeping an air of mystery around them. I would only consider them fakes if they delibrately lie and make up stuff about themselves to make people accept them or agree with them.

kingbee

on Jul 29, 2004

ive narrowly avoided arrest for having revealed a bit more of myself than was considered in keeping with community standards.

(but im willing to do it again upon request)

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