Maybe that's a good thing though!
We have all filled in these questionaires, you know they ask you random questions like, what's your favourite colour, what are you wearing right now (hehe!), what are your ambitions, etc etc. You get my point! As the self involved freak I am I quite enjoy these qustions it gives me a chance to talk about my favourite subject.....ME, hehe! There is one question I do really struggle with though, who is your role model? I've sat and thought about this question for a long time, I really have, but the honest answer, I don't have one. There is no one I admire to the extent that they encourage me to become just like them. There's lots of writers I admire for example, but none that I would call role models. What exactly is a role model, someone who inspires you to become something? Someone you admire? Someone you relate to? I don't really know, so where do you go when you don't know? Ha to my favourite website, the definition of role model....
role model
A person who serves as a model in a particular behavioral or social role for another person to emulate.
So it's someone you want to be like? I'm still struggling. I could pick my parents, They are good people, with good morals, but if i think about it do I really want to be like them? The answer is erm....no! Alot of people say their parents, I can understand it really, they were our guides in life, they provided the leadership we needed to follow. They also showed us the things not to do, the paths not to follow, learn from thier mistakes. Hmmm...maybe I just lack ambition, so to become like someone else would be to much like hard work, and plus I kind of want to make my own way in the world. Admitation is all well and good, but what happened to freedom of thought, I want to be a free thinker, but will I be that if I want to be like that person.
Don't worry I know I'm looking into this far to deeply, but the truth is, I would like a role model, maybe then I'd know where my life is going. I'd like someone to make me say WOW I want to be just like them. How can I do that when I don't even know myself yet? If I don't know how I make myself tick, how can I make the huge decision of who is going to guide me? Or have I already made that decision, and I chose myself? Because if that's the case I think I'm selling myself short, I really do. Maybe I haven't lived long enough for someone to have that affect on my life. Maybe I'm a head of myself, and someone is just waiting to touch my life in a way that I will never understand but it will change my life in ways I can't possibly imagine. Or maybe I won't be touched, maybe I will remain cynical and self obsessed, and be unable to let someone get idol status in my eyes. Or maybe it's happened for me, and I'm just to stupid to have noticed, ahhh I'm the maybe girl today!
There is another option, that I could consider. I could let my idol be someone that is a modern day idol, such as...ahh let me think of an inspiring soul...Britney Spears? Yes!!!! Why didn't I think of it before, I want to be JUST like her! I want to be that beautiful, and clever, and kind and sweet! I want to go to vegas and marry random men! I want to sing badly for millions of people and get paid loadsssss just because I take my clothes off! I want to be the face 13 year old girls want to be like, and don't get me started on the male adoration! Why didn't I think of it before! Or J-LO! i'm already half way there with the ass! I just need a few failed marriages, a few failed films, and a half decent singing career and I'm almost there! Ahh our modern day idols, and I was wondering why I didn't have one! Ha! Feel free to share yours, I may just get inspired!