"Conversation should be pleasant without scurrility, witty without affectation, free without indecency, learned without conceitedness, novel without falsehood."
My parents were blessed with three very different daughters. Three daughters that were similar in some ways, but VERY different in others. They loved us all equally that much I can say. How much they liked us is a different story though. Its funny how we get labelled, we all had a label early on, My eldest sister Anne-Louise was named the 'pretty' one. Which to me suggest me and my other sister were seen as the two ugly sisters, but anyway! My next sister was called the 'home-maker', I think she got the worst title personally, but I'll explain that later, and then little me, the baby of the family, what title did I get? I got the 'smart' one, ha! So what lead us to having these titles? I'm not sure if it really had a lot to do with our actual personalities, I'll explain a bit to you about my sisters and you'll see what I mean!

Firstly Anne-Louise, she has always fancied herself as a bit of a rebel, though why is beyond me. She is quite arty, and loves to draw and do stuff like that, but ask her a question on general knowledge or common sense, and she'll have no idea what you're talking about. She lives on her own planet, where she is perfectly happy to be. She hated school, was forever in trouble. She was never short of a boyfriend, and even now she isn't. She was always told she was beautiful, which don't get me wrong, she is, but I don't know, hmmm. Anyway her chosen career? Part time Pole dancer, Full time drug addict.

My next sister Katy, probably the quietest out of the three of us. She's very emotional, avoids arguments, and though she has eight years on me, I still feel the need to protect her. Me and Anne-louise have this quite fiesty sides to us, but Katy doesn't, she's just a sweetheart the majority of the time. Being the middle child, I think she feels slightly ignored sometimes. She kept her head down in school, did averagely well, and never caused my parents any problems, unlike her big sister. So because she was so good and didn't cause problems, she basically got ignored. Not intentionally, my parents attention was just needed in other areas. My sister took care of me loads when I was little, time I'll never forget, and she still does to this day. I asked her the other day, if she thinks she treats me like a 'normal' twenty one year old. She said no, I treat you like you're my baby sister, awww. Her career? Part Time Mid-wife, Full time Mummy to Maddy Mae!

Then there's me! I always had my head in a book, I loved reading with a passion. I'd describe myself as pretty average, not loud, not quiet. I was spoilt, as the youngest, this I know, I pretty much got my own way, and as there was such a huge age gap, my sisters babied me more than beat up on me. I was pretty popular, and I was a good student, I was more of a thinker than anything, and I was forever writing. I don't really have alot to say about me, lol! i guess you can draw your own conclusions! My chosen career? If only I knew, ha!

So my point? Well I have a few. Did me and my sisters become what we really wanted to be? Or did we just live up the the expectations that were set for us? We were kind of told what to expect and what not to! We were given titles to live by, and for the most part we seem to have lived up to them. So were them titles correct, or did we just make it so they were? I suppose it could be measured by just how happy we are in our chosen lives. My eldest sister isn't happy, she's lost control of her life, and is struggling to get it back. Katy is happy being a Mummy, she loves it. Am I happy? Not really. If I knew what I was , and what I was becoming, maybe I would be, but I don't. We were also told, none of us would never get married, and so far this is true to. I can't see it happening to any of us in the near future either!

So it begs the question, were expectaions set for you? And more importantly did you live up to them?

Comments
on Jul 15, 2004
Expectations are so strange. My sister has always been the golden child - something I begrudged as a young'un but completely appreciate now. She has scaled the heights of finance so that now she holds a very responsible job just under the CEO of a large corporation. While she has been divorced and had a child accidentally (something I see nothing wrong with, but something my folks don't appreciate being Catholic and all!) she has carried herself in such a dignified way and rolled with the punches so well that you can't help but be proud of her!

My brother is in the middle and he is just odd. I love him to pieces, but we just don't seem to have much to talk about. I think my folks were always a little down on him - i don't know why. He has been the angry/weird one, I suppose, but he has always tried to make Mum and Dad proud (and I think failed through no fault of his own, they are just really hard on him and no one knows why)

I am the blacksheep however. The 'difficult' one. And the 'smartest' so they've had a tough time with me. I don't follow what they've wanted me to do (finish uni, get into corporate life, earn lots of money) and maybe it has been a reactionary thing - like you said. Maybe I am the blacksheep because that's what's always been said about me? Or maybe I have shown these tendencies since birth? Who knows. Whichever way, I float around doing what I please and seem to get away with it unscathed (bar the 'what are you going to do with your life?' conversations which happen sporadically. Thank god they're back on the other side of the world!)

So I suppose I have lived up to their expectations. But not my own!

Nice article

Suz xxx
on Jul 15, 2004
My sister is the Golden child to. She doesn't cause my Mum and dad problems like me and my other sister. She gets on with life, is very responsible and has provided them with my niece who they are both obsessed with. My eldest sister causes them no end of problems, she is the blacksheep. And I've gone from the 'smart one to 'to smart for her own good' hehe! they had all expectation of me becoming a doctor or something, and laughed at me wanting to write (they still do) so I was never going to make them happt. The whole reason I'm going to do teaching is to make them happy, I'm just waiting for the time I get happy!

We're alot alike, it's worrying!
on Jul 15, 2004
they had all expectation of me becoming a doctor or something,


Tell me about it! I had a scholarship to become an actuary (which is like accounting, but more boring and you get paid a LOT more) which I ditched when I realised it would make me want to kill myself if I did it for any period of time - short or long. They laugh at me becoming a writer, but it's put down to being one of my eccentricities.

I'm just waiting for the time I get happy!


It's now babe! But that's easier said than done, isn't it? When you do anything because someone else wants you to, you won't ever stick to it. You need your own momentum to keep you going. I have faith in you!
on Jul 15, 2004
HAHAHAHAHA Bloggers!
on Jul 15, 2004
...you think I'm stupid, even hmmm was a better name!
on Jul 15, 2004
So it begs the question, were expectaions set for you? And more importantly did you live up to them?


Absolutely. At times I did, and at others I did not.

Education was very important to my family. My grandfather was the Dean of Education at San Diego State for 22 years. My father was a naval aviator for many years, but afterwards was an educator for the Navy. He spent several years as the directory of the Navy's Air Traffic Control school. He has a BA in education, and MBA, a MA in education, and a PhD in middle school administration. Everyone in my immediate family has been a teacher of some sort.

So when I dropped out of college after 4 years to become an artist, they freaked. I was essentially disowned by my family (it was the 3rd time my mother had done so). I was not welcome home, which led to me spending three months homeless, and my older brother refused to even talk to me. My mother said to me, "Our lives would have been so much better if you had never been born."

My brother was, without a doubt, the strongest influence in my development. He was my idol and his word was like God's. So having him disapprove so strongly of me hurt a lot.

It wasn't until three years later, after I had returned to school and gotten on the Dean's List for two consecutive semesters that he decided I was worth talking to again.
on Jul 15, 2004
I ditched when I realised it would make me want to kill myself if I did it for any period of time - short or long. They laugh at me becoming a writer, but it's put down to being one of my eccentricities.


That's so my worst fear, to do a job I hate day in and day out, what's the point if you're not happy? My family are the same, they just think I'm strange!

I have faith in you


Aww thanks sweety, I'm glad someone does!

My brother was, without a doubt, the strongest influence in my development. He was my idol and his word was like God's.


I'm glad you had that influence in your life, though it's sad that you had to earn it. You should of been accepted for what you wanted to do, instead of going and proving yourself! Well done though, you don't do things by halves huh!

Oh and I have another message for timrek

reknaw
on Jul 15, 2004
;lksudhgobujg
on Jul 15, 2004
...stop! rekuf
on Jul 15, 2004
Sal - why is kermit - sorry timrek being mean to you
on Jul 15, 2004
Sal - why is kermit - sorry timrek being mean to you


He always is now!