Obsessive-compulsive disorder

Published on July 11, 2004 By Sally jacobs In Health & Medicine

I have to admit that I am strange, there is no doubt in my mind that I'm not completely sane. I have issues with silence, which is pretty strange for someone who is quite happy to be in their own company. Silence infuriates me. So I talk to myself, I usually tell myself off, or bitch and moan about something, or attempt to make myself laugh, something I'm quite good at, considering just how funny I am, or at least how funny I think I am. Knowing what I'm going to fo for the next fifty years scares me, like you wouldn't believe, if my day is going to be the same everyday, what's the point? Having said that, I'm set in my ways, I like things to go a certain way, and change shakes me up. I have a pattern that I like to follow, and I have some odd habits to go with it.

As a child this was a lot worse, I used to have these little things I would have to do, and if I didn't do them in my mind something bad would happen. I had to switch a light switch four times when i went in a room before I left it on. When I got in the bath I had to blink really fast ten times, just in case the world may come to an end if I didn't. There were others but I guess i've just blocked them out. Even now I have them, I wash my hands alot, I went through a phase of having to change my clothes when I got nervous. It was so bad that it got up to something like ten times a day, now that is a lot of washing! I also have this obsession when I'm walking down the street that when I walk past men they have to pass by me on the side nearest the road, I don't know why but that's just the way I am. Except for old men, they may have the inside of the road.

Now I think these obsessions are just quite mild, I don't HAVE to do them, but they make me feel better if I do, which may not be normal, but harmless to me. However these things can be taken to the opposite extreme Link when I read this I found it incredibley sad that someones life can be taken over like this, that you feel that total lack of control, and the only way you can regain it is by doing such things! It is mostly caused by worrying. I worry a whole lot, about things I have no control over, I have started to realise that it does no good, but in my mind if i don't worry then something bad will happen. There are lots of people who have this disorder to a far worse degree, and you don't even know it's going on. It's not a illness that you can see, people just presume you are weird, or strange, and maybe you are, but it can't be helped. I think it just needs to be understood a little better, and that's what I'm trying to do! I hope no one thinks i'm a complete weirdo now *looks scared*

Comments

CS Guy

on Jul 11, 2004

I hope no one thinks i'm a complete weirdo now *looks scared*

What's wrong with weird? I like weird. Normal is so boring.

mittens

on Jul 11, 2004

It's one of your little "Quirks!" It's far from being a bad thing; unless, of course, you take it to an extreme. I have some really bad days with my minor OCD that can become really annoying; I've spent 15-20 minutes before just checking to make sure that a faucet was turned off, or a door was locked. It's annoying, but I've come to accept it. I generally try to hide it from people (It's a pride thing, not a "I don't know what they'll think of me" thing) and I do a good job for the most part. I just know it's a little quirk of mine, and that I have to accept it. *shrug*

url123

on Jul 11, 2004

I love my OCD! Being ultra clean and safe is a good thing. Don't worry about it.

Floozie

on Jul 12, 2004

We all do weird things. Nothing wrong with that - it is what makes us unique! I'm with Trent on the door looking bit. It won't take me 20 mins, but I will check that they back and front doors are locked like 3 times each before I go to bed, when I'm home alone. You know that it's locked, but you check anyway.

Hand washing is a good habit to have. Most people pick up the flu and other nasty illnesses because they don't wash their hands enough. it would be horrible to be ruled by these things though. Another thing to be thankful for!

Sally jacobs

on Jul 12, 2004

Hehe...I'm not a huge freak then?

What's wrong with weird? I like weird. Normal is so boring.

I like weird to, and there's no such thing as normal

It's one of your little "Quirks!"

I so should have called this article quirks instead! I do the door thing to...there's just to many to mention!

I love my OCD! Being ultra clean and safe is a good thing. Don't worry about it.

It makes me unique right!

Thanks for the support sweety! I think alot of it is just to do with paranoia, and I find there's something quite comforting about it!

Thanks for all the comments folks

MarianneSteele

on Jul 13, 2004

when i was younger i had some little weird things that i did, but it wasnt really a big deal. maybe all kids do stuff like that?

i do like to wash my hands though.. i think it came from being around people who weren't very clean when it came to sneezing on their hands or chewing on pens and crap like that. i was just grossed out by it all! lol

Sally jacobs

on Jul 14, 2004

when i was younger i had some little weird things that i did, but it wasnt really a big deal. maybe all kids do stuff like that?

Yeah kids seem to be alot more open to things like that, I guess things play on their mind more, which means I must be still childlike, lol!

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