Rude Children, grrr!

It's all about the discipline!

Published on July 9, 2004 By Sally jacobs In Home & Family

I'm still not in the best of moods, but that should all be sorted tomorrow

. If you can't beat them join them. I guess someone will be getting what they want very soon. Anywho, todays blog. I sorted my pc problems, yay! how frustrating I could get on the site but every page took about 20mins to load, it was connection problems due to bad weather, all is good now! It gave me time to do some television bonding, I swear they just feed us crap to watch and fools like me sit there, take it in, then come and blog about it! My sister considers me to be a bad influence already on Maddy Mae, and she's only seven months old! I thought I wouldn't get the title of 'bad influence' until she was like 2 or 3 years old at least, when I could teach her naughty things to say, and basically let her do the things Mummy doesn't let her do, haha! That wasn't to be, I'm already a bad influence, because I spoil her and teach her to bash her toys and so on! hehe, my sisters only playing really, she knows I completely adore my niece, and want the best for her, and if she turns into a fit throwing monster I'll probably be the least pleased out of all of us.

I don't have children so I'm not even going to pretend I know anything about discipling children, I'm sure when they are throwing a tantrum and kicking and screaming, all parents have their own way of dealing with it. I think when and if I ever do have children I'll turn out to be quite strict. I don't really want to be like that, because in many ways I'm a pretty laid back person, but I can't stand bad mannered children. Now at this point I'm talking mostly teenagers, obviously their behaviour at this age stems from when they were that three year old kicking and screaming on the floor, and how they were dealt with then. Teenagers know right and wrong, they know the right way to behave, it's not so long ago that I was one of these teenagers. I'm turning in to an old woman, I can feel this rant taking that direction. I just think the disrespect some children show their parents is disgusting. I don't say that lightly either. I think some parents are just as bad, and deserve this behaviour. The way I see some kids talking to their parents though, I would never ever dream of saying such things to my parents. Don't get me wrong, to this day, my parents still have the ability to annoy the hell out of me, I think it comes with being the youngest they still think they can treat you like the ten year old you will always be in their head. I always show them respect though, and that stretches to everyone I come across, they all deserve respect, it's just human decency, and ill mannered, unruley children, grrrrrr!

I watched a programme the other day called 'Bad lads army' where they basically took them back to when the army was compulsary and taught them discipline, and there was some harsh things in there. The staff were rude, cruel and mean to these boys but you know what? I actually found myself agreeing with it. Maybe I'm just a grumpy old witch, but I did. These boys went in there with criminal records, they believed in solving problems with their fists, and most were unemployed and lived off petty crime. This way of life taught them respect, taught them to live by rules, and the consequences of not living by these rules. I think that's the problem today, a lack of consequences, there's no middle ground, catching these children before they do something that is really serious. Children today are very socially aware, they know their rights, they know what they can get away with, they seem to stop being children alot faster and that's sad, it really is. When I was at school, I couldn't wait to grow up, have freedom, enjoy it, now I'm an adult (ha) I really want to be a kid again, grass is always greener.

The other programme I watched was 'super nanny' where this lady came to the house of parents who found their children far to unruley and taught them some rules to live by. I didn't really buy into this programme to much. It must be far different a stranger coming into your house and telling your child what to do, than the parent actually doing it themselves. Of course the child is going to react in a different manner, of course they won't play up in the same way, children are smart, they know what they can get away with who. This nanny did teach the parents how to deal with tantrums and such, and how to get this kid to calm down a bit, and it did seem to be pretty useful. I think most of it is down to the parents though, in some cases the parents do a great job and the kids still turn out to be rude and unruley, but in alot of cases good parenting leads to good kids. I can't define good parenting, it's all down to personal style, all kids are different and have to be dealt with in different ways, and in my opinion only their parents truely know what the best way is!

Comments

xtine

on Jul 09, 2004

Yes rude children...grrr!! They get to me sometimes too. Which isn't too hard cause I'm not a kid person. Generally I don't like any kids but my own. But if they're well mannered and respectful I can deal with them. My neighbor has a gang of kids and they drive me nuts. They come over to my house and start lipping off to me.

I asked one to stop stomping on our aluminum soffit that we are trying to install and he said "I can do what I want!"

Um...no, not at my house. And no lip either. If I want lip I can get it from my own kids. If you want to smart off to me get on the other side of the property line buddy. And so that's what I did. I picked him up and carried over to his side and set him down. He's only three but no excuse.

He's not going to snot off to me in my own home. I got my own who take care of that very well and they well know that they can't get away with that either. Unless they really want to spend an day or so looking out a window with no electronics to play or books to read or tv to watch.

Hey, good article Sally and THANKS for letting me rant.

CS Guy

on Jul 09, 2004

Nice article, Sally, and I'm sure you are a great aunt. In the mean time, here's something to cheer you up...

One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. "Oh, no," I said. "Disneyland burned down." He cried and cried, but I think that deep down, he thought it was a pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but it was getting pretty late.

Poetmom99

on Jul 09, 2004

Thanks Sally....makes me feel better to know it's not just me! I spent every evening this week with ten first and second graders...and there were two little boys in that class that I just wanted to throttle on a daily basis. They were determined that they could do what they wanted, when they wanted, and they told me that I was just "too mean and too bossy" because I made them follow the rules. Sorry, but if the other eight are having no problem doing what they are told, then you two just need to shape up and get with the program, fellas!

cakepansan

on Jul 09, 2004

Sally ... Very Nice Article!
Nice to know someone else out there still has values.
Right now it seems like I must have wasted my breath for a bunch of years trying to teach my kids values and about what's right versus what's wrong!
I am in the awkward position of being a Grandmother who feels very cheated. I always hoped to be the 'fun Grammie' who allowed my Grandchildren to have and do a few of the things their parents ... my children ... wouldn't allow them to have or do. I was a strict Mother ... maybe because I was divorced and raising them by myself. I felt that it was my duty, as their Mother, who loved them ... to prepare them for a world that doesn't always let you have your way all of the time. I figured that as a Grandmother, I could relax ... not be so serious and I would have a chance to spoil my Grandkids a little. But unfortuneately, it hasn't worked out that way! My Grandchildren are the kind of kids that throw themselves down on the floor screaming in K-Mart when they don't get what they want! (Causing you to want to act like you don't know who's kids they are!) When they come to visit ... they get into drawers and go through cabinets ... poke holes in my nice lace tablecloth ... grab the TV channel thingy, go into the Menu and start changing the settings on my husband's big screen (expensive!) TV. (Something even he doesn't even do himself!) At 3 years of age one little grandson put his fist in my face and glared in my eyes and told me: "I'm gonna kill you!" because I didn't jump up immediately and get him the candy that he wanted. (My daughter laughed at this and said it wasn't important). But ... she should have corrected him instead of acting like it was funny. It was very disrespectful. These times have not been corrected and I am always on edge when they come over. It's sad to say but I dread to see them coming anymore and I didn't think I could ever feel that way! Whenever I tried to talk to her about these incidents ... she immediately reacts as though I am attacking her 'Mothering skills' and takes it personal. I see them less and less as time goes on. At first, it hurt a great deal and I missed seeing my daughter, but I feel somehow free-er now ... because I don't get all tensed up and nervous anymore when they aren't around. Holidays use to be so much fun. Thanksgiving I always cooked a big meal for my family. Christmas was always special. But this thing between my daughter and I ... over her kids being monsters ... has taken the joy out of what should have always been our special times together as a family. Last time I talked to her on the phone, she started saying ugly things ... that I never loved her and I couldn't bear to listen to her saying those disrespectful, rude, ridiculas things to me ... so I hung up on her ... this was a couple of months ago and I haven't heard from her since. I can only hope that some day she will wake up and realize that all I have ever wanted for her was her happiness.
Anyway ... I did enjoy your article ... hang onto your values ... they are so important to your own self respect ... in a world that seems to have lost it's value system in so many areas. In many ways ... young people like you give old Grammies like me ... Hope!

Sally jacobs

on Jul 10, 2004

Yay... I don't feel like so much of a whinger now, ha! Thankyou all so much for your comments, they are really appreciated!

Xtine, it is my pleasure to give you the opportunity to rant, and thankyou for the giggle you gave me, hehe!

I picked him up and carried over to his side and set him down. He's only three but no excuse.

...how i wish i could have seen his face, haha! I think I am a kid person, but when they are rude, and their parents don't seem to do anything about it, it really infuriates me, there are certain levels of basic respect and there's no excuse for not following them! How old are you're kids? If you don't mind me asking!

One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. "Oh, no," I said. "Disneyland burned down." He cried and cried, but I think that deep down, he thought it was a pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but it was getting pretty late.

CS guy....

.....haha! That is just plain cruel Mr! How old is was this little nephew then?

there were two little boys in that class that I just wanted to throttle on a daily basis

I get that feeling with kids all the time, that they think they can just live by their own rules, grrr! I sometimes feel I'm just to grumpy, but they really do take liberties sometimes!

cakepansan

....I'm glad you liked the article, and thank you so much for the comment, I really feel bad for you. My Mum has recently become a grandma and she is enjoying all the things that you have said, the joy of the kids without all the extra crappy bits, leave that to the parents! You're daughters kids just sound plain rude, I'm sorry for saying that, but laughing at them when they do things like that is just totally out of order! It just encourages them, they think oooh I made Mummy laugh, i'll do that again! I think you are better off just keeping away from it for a while, that behaviour will soon come and bite your daughter on the bum when they get completely unruley, then she'll be running to you for advice. I hope you work things out, people say things in the heat of the moment that they don't mean, but it's not worth not speaking to each other over. Maybe it takes one of you to take the first step and swallow you're pride! Anyway I'm glad to have given you some hope, I thought i was just being a whinge bag, ha!

DylanZimmerman

on Jul 10, 2004

Thanks for the comment honey. Everyone here has been so cool...I think its helped me out a lot to write.

Sorry I haven't left you a comment in a while..I'll leave u a nice long one when i can.

God, British tv sounds way better than the American stuff. super Nanny? Genius!

Love Dyl xx

xtine

on Jul 12, 2004

He was in complete shock. Couldn't believe that I would actually drop everything I was doing and take the time and effort to correct him. I think that all the kids in the "neighborhood" (such that it is way out in rural Minnesota!) think that I'm the mean lady, but they keep coming over so I must not be too awful mean.

I have two kids, one is a ten year old and one is almost twenty months old. I definately don't mind you asking cause I love talking about my kids!

Sally jacobs

on Jul 12, 2004

think that I'm the mean lady, but they keep coming over so I must not be too awful mean.

I think that's what this article made me sound like, the grumpy lady, I just like good manners that's all!

I have two kids, one is a ten year old and one is almost twenty months old. I definately don't mind you asking cause I love talking about my kids!

Awww big age difference, bu you get the best of both worlds! i've got a little niece of 7months, she is adorable and I never shutup about her!

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