"Conversation should be pleasant without scurrility, witty without affectation, free without indecency, learned without conceitedness, novel without falsehood."
Published on July 5, 2004 By Sally jacobs In Blogging
I like this blog site, I like the people on it. I think that it's a great place to write and get feedback. I can't help but notice that not everyone is getting on very well at the moment. That is to be expected, with so many people around, that have strong opinions, and beliefs and are willing to voice them opinions and beliefs, this is what makes this community so great, but which also causes conflict, so do we accept it? Do we ignore it? Do we try to understand it? This blog is not about this conflict, as I think it's already been given enough blog space, but it is maybe partly what inspired this blog. We are all normal everyday people, I use the term normal loosely, as what's that exactly? We are your average joe's as the site puts it. We sit here behind our computers and we let words flow through are keyboard to the readers of JU and then we await, in some cases the responses of the opinions of those we have grown to respect, and appreciate feedback from. Do we ever let the real us show? We let a part of us show, maybe not the part that we show our family, maybe not the part we showed the shop assistant or the milkman, not the part we show our friends, not the one we show our neighbours. Like it or not, there are many versions of us. We are different things to different people. That doesn't make us fake in anyway, it just makes us human.

Now that is the subconscious alter ego, we are not aware we do this. In our minds we are the same person all the time, but that is not possible, as we grow to trust people, as we grow to care about them, our behaviour changes accordingly, so it's impossible for us to be the same person we are with our partner for example as we are to the postman. Thats a good thing though, it shows we are versitile, it shows we can adapt quite well to different situations, it shows we have understanding of behaviour. There are other uses for the alter ego though. Comedians use the alter ego very cleverly. It must take alot of guts to get up on that stage and 'try' to be funny. That's where the alter ego comes into play, it can be used on occasion as a defence mechanism, you can hide behind it. It isn't the real you, whatever that is, it's just a part of you. I'm generalising here, but keep with me, as humans we judge each other all the time, we compare ourselves to each other, and we even set ourselves up to be judged by others, such as comedians do. If they fail miserabley, if they are truely terrible at what they do, the alter ego provides some sort of cushion for that blow, it's what helps them to get up the next night and do the same thing.

Another thing, and maybe more importantly the alter ego is good for, is saying things you wouldn't normally say. We live in a world that is run by rules, like it or not, we all have rules to live by, constrictions. Of course we have freedom of speech, but just how free is that, we all know there are politically correct and incorrect things to say, and we all know that we can be judged severely by making such comments. I'm going to use the comedian example again, comedians can get away with saying alot more things using this alter ego technique and we can get away with laughing at it too. That's the beauty of it, these alter egos, can become characters, characters that we know are wrong, that we know are silly, that we know are not saying the right thing, but for everyone of these alter egos, there's a person out there that actually holds this opinion, that believes them things we consider to be silly, and these alter egos while stating they are these people, they do it in such an over the top manner, we know it is silly, and we can laugh at these people. They actually serve a purpose. It would be nice to live in a world where we thought it was full of decent people, but we don't. There are all different kinds of people, with all different opinions. We may not agree with them, but it is better that we acknowledge these people than remain ignorant like they do.

I hope you know where that all came from folks, or maybe I'm just in a world of my own. I'm not saying that anyone here is fake, i'm not saying that we are all alter egos, I'm just saying be aware of it. Here we are real people, who laugh and cry just like anyone else, but when you are presented with a character that isn't necessarily what you agree with or who is very over the top in what they say, maybe the best idea is to accept it for what it is. We all hide behind certain things, anyway I've waffled enough! Happy blogging!

Comments (Page 1)
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on Jul 05, 2004
Nice article, Sally. And I agree with you on pretty much every point.

The Internet provides is denizens with a certain anonymity. We get to hide behind the screen. This allows us to say things that we might not say in face-to-face situations. There is a relaxation of the social covenants. I think this is a good thing, as it provides us a medium for expressing ideas in a more pure form. But some people use it to exaggerate their ideas. To make those ideas larger than life and twice as ugly. That too serves a cathartic purpose, I think.
on Jul 05, 2004
we all know there are politically correct and incorrect things to say, and we all know that we can be judged severely by making such comments.


This has never really bothered me at all, political correctness is the most evil dogma the world has ever known.
on Jul 05, 2004
I think I'm the cause of Sir Peter's double post... I posted something, then re-read your article and noticed I'd gone off on a tangent that was totally unrelated and not within in the proper discussion area of the thread, so I went and edited and deleted it to clear it out and repost... Sorry about that and you'll have my other reply in a little while...
on Jul 05, 2004
It's a very good article. I have to agree with all the points you make too. I've seen the alter ego thing happen many times in the games I've played and then actually meeting the person face to face it's a totally different person.

Obviously it's not always done for bad reasons.. and I don't believe most people are being fake either... I think it's just one of the quirks of the anonimnity(sp?? actual word??? ) of the internet and how people hold themselves.
on Jul 05, 2004
But some people use it to exaggerate their ideas. To make those ideas larger than life and twice as ugly.


As always insightful CS, I agree it does get blown out of proportion completely, but I think it's all about the lack of reaction, if we are aware they are doing this, then they won't get the reaction they want!

This has never really bothered me at all, political correctness is the most evil dogma the world has ever known.


Peter, you speak your mind, I respect that

M-Post, I read your original comment, I came back and went to give it an insghtful and you deleted it, grrrr! It is one of the pulls of the internet definatly, because people don't know us we may say things we usually wouldn't, and sometimes that isn't always taken in the best possible way.

Thanks for all the comments people!
on Jul 05, 2004
LoL, well if y a want Sally I'm sure I can post basically the same thing I did the first time again It's a topic I'm very very familiar with from playing MMoRPGS..
on Jul 05, 2004
Oh yes! It was a great comment! I'm just itchimg to give an insightful, hehe!
on Jul 05, 2004
One of the major things that comes into play on any internet website/game is the fact of being an anonymous entity. Your either a person behind a name, or a toon (if from a game... I'm an old EQ addict so had to state that one ) and the fact is that the name or toon hardly does relate to your character in real life. Yeah you can be exactly the same... but normally it just isn't so. For a great example I give myself... In day to day life, I'm a quite, shy and very timid person. I'd never have gone up to a person and have told them face to face about the troubles with my dating life for one. This does prove the alter ego ideal that Sally was talking about.

Now this does greatly empower people. We are allowed to break out of the shell that is our day to day life, per se, and act how we want to act... say what we want to say.. maybe try out a new type of personality for ourselves... etc... This has a LOT of benefits for people... such as shy people for one find it a LOT easier to open up and talk to those they don't know than we ever would in a face to face situation. This also holds the burden though, of those who wish, or make themselves out to be antagonists.

Now recently I believe we've all read about all the antagonists that are badgering people. It seems to be a lot of negative things are being said... and that people are wanting to abandon their blogs due to all that's happening. Well I don't like seeing that happening for 1... because it's letting the antagonists win.. and for 2 because I KNOW that those who are facing those problems are people who really do CARE about this site and about the blogs they right and the other people of the site. If they didn't care, they wouldn't be posting here, they wouldn't be so worried about how the state of things at this site is going.

The problem is that antagonists are always going to be around. Sadly we've been helpign keep them around recently too. They crave attention. They go around posting things about you not always to oppose the viewpoint.. but because they are attention hungry. And we feed right into it by giving them that attention they crave. The answer is truly simple... just ignore them. If you ignore them, yeah they may gloat, and say they 'won the arguement'... but yet we've already proven at least to ourselves that those people's viewpoints don't matter to us correct?? So let them go off.. let them say what they want... Those who are smart will look at facts, at posts, and at your blogs to read your thoughts and not make an opinion of you based on what others type. I'll admit I've read some crazy things about people on these blogs.. but I NEVER trust what I read ABOUT a person. that's been written by someone else. I like to read what they say themselves, and base my opinion from that and I hope that all new users to this site would do the same.


Ok, I know that came out a lot differently than the first post and maybe not as clear or more clear I don't know... the hangover I had this morning isn't as bad as it was earlier and I've been told I normally speak with more clarity when in agony......
on Jul 05, 2004
Wow little whip, that was a hugely insightful comment, and I have to say I agree with the majority of it. I think that the risk is people start to take this to seriously, and that can be where the problems start.

there are basically 2 kinds of people you will meet on the net, those who see the anonymity of it as a chance to *be someone else* and those who see the anonymity of it as a chance to *be ones self.*


I love this quote! You could still argue neither of them are the real person, but you make your point beautifully! I like to see as as being myself, though I can see the temptation of being someone else, creating a character, and using your imagination, but i think that things like this in my view should be treated with honesty, and as far as the blogging goes, I try to give myself a hundred percent, because without that honesty I couldn't write what I do.

By amplified i mean that the normal societal constraints are removed, and because of that i am much less likely to censor myself.


I think this is where the problems start, even though this is a net community I think there are still certain levels of respect that should be maintained, I think it's a great thing that we are not constrained and can speak our mind as we please, I think people take this to far though, they abuse this, and I don't think that's fair.

Thanks for sharing, and the summary, let's not take things to seriously huh!

M-Post you're right that was different to your first post, but just as insightful! Thanks for writing it again!

Sadly we've been helpign keep them around recently too. They crave attention.


I couldn't agree more with this, they are getting what they want, and it's just making the place worse instead of better!

The answer is truly simple... just ignore them. If you ignore them, yeah they may gloat, and say they 'won the arguement'... but yet we've already proven at least to ourselves that those people's viewpoints don't matter to us correct??


Again...agreed

the hangover I had this morning isn't as bad as it was earlier and I've been told I normally speak with more clarity when in agony....


Hehe....there was clarity there in agony or not!
on Jul 05, 2004
like a male posing as a lesbian,


Yet another post discriminating against us male lesbians...

Me, i see the net as a way to be me, only amplified.



I do as well. I often smirk in real life when told I am opinionated. Frankly, even on JU, I am often very restrained (on other people's threads, at least).
on Jul 05, 2004
Who is fighting anyway?
on Jul 05, 2004
I think this is where the problems start, even though this is a net community I think there are still certain levels of respect that should be maintained, I think it's a great thing that we are not constrained and can speak our mind as we please, I think people take this to far though, they abuse this, and I don't think that's fair.


I would have to say "yes and no" to this, sally. When it comes to responses to other people's threads, I think restraint is in order. When it comes to MY blog, I am the author, it is MY opinion, and, equally, MY right to express it. You have the same right (this was just my opinion, btw...hehe).
on Jul 05, 2004
Of course, because the consequences of not using restraint are immediate, though minor, because you can then be blacklisted from that blog and have your comment deleted.


That is one reason; the reasons that I use the standard is, one, it's plain ol' good manners, two, because I truly value free speech, and I honestly want to hear what someone has to say. If my responses are pure barbs and vitriol, then it is likely I will shout an intelligent, well thought out user into silence and miss what insight they have to offer us. I don't wish to do that.

On our own blogs.....i say let 'er rip. If someone takes offense, they dont have to revisit the thread or the blog, right?



Precisely. I also go back to the issue of free speech here; I feel I have a responsibility to speak my mind, in the appropriate forum. You, likewise, have a right not to listen.
on Jul 06, 2004
I was just talking about comments on other peoples blogs really, that we should have a certain amount of respect their, though still voice our own opinions. Our blog is for us to write whatever we like, and tell people what we want to say. No one makes you read it or go to that blog. I'm sure we all build up a list in our heads of peoples blogs we knoe we are going to disagree with, so what's the point? Ignoring them is the best option!

shhhhh, not here, you will wish it upon us.


Hehe...we've managed a fight free thread, yay! Haha!

I do as well. I often smirk in real life when told I am opinionated. Frankly, even on JU, I am often very restrained (on other people's threads, at least).


I'm the same, i'm forever being told I'm far to opinionated for my own good, but I am willing to take on other peoples opinions, and let them add to my own point of view!
on Jul 06, 2004
. In our minds we are the same person all the time, but that is not possible, as we grow to trust people, as we grow to care about them, our behaviour changes accordingly, so it's impossible for us to be the same person we are with our partner for example as we are to the postman.


See, I have a tough time buying this....I may show MORE of myself to my spouse than to the postman, but I'm still me, no matter who else I'm talking to or spending time with during the day. I don't give one person one opinion and then give another person another opinion....I'm true to my beliefs, values and opinions 24/7.

The Internet provides is denizens with a certain anonymity. We get to hide behind the screen. This allows us to say things that we might not say in face-to-face situations.


Again, that's NOT me....if I say it here, I'd say it to your face.....

When it comes to responses to other people's threads, I think restraint is in order. When it comes to MY blog, I am the author, it is MY opinion, and, equally, MY right to express it. You have the same right (this was just my opinion, btw...hehe).


VERY well said!

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