"Conversation should be pleasant without scurrility, witty without affectation, free without indecency, learned without conceitedness, novel without falsehood."
How do YOU show emotion!
Published on June 22, 2004 By Sally jacobs In Misc
When I write I find my emotions just flow out on to the page and I can be as open and honest as I wish to be. I find most of the time I'm like this when I speak. I have a great amount of respect for people who are straight with you, they may not always tell you what you want to hear, but you know what they say is the truth and in my opinion that is priceless. People articulate their feelings in many different ways, some are upfront, some hide their feelings, some shove their opinions down your throat. Now even though I feel I'm an honest person, I have trouble showing emotion. i don't know why this is, but I just seem to be retarded in this respect. As much as emotion comes across when I write (maybe!) in person it's a totally different story. This is not to say that I'm not affectionate because I am, I love hugs and kisses as much as the next person, but when it comes to showing or even verbalizing emotion, I do really struggle.

When I was growing up my Mum wasn't very affectionate, she wasn't a touchy feely kind of person. She told me she loved me, but we didn't really discuss our feelings, if things happened, it was best to just ignore them. They'll eventually go away if ignored for long enough. I don't think I'm this person, I like to talk about things, it does make me feel better, but growing up that's the way it was. Even now my sister can't say 'I love you' which I find incredibley sad. This is kind of getting off topic anyway. This is about how people show their emotions, and how they are different. How they choose to voice opinions to people.

I can't cry about things that matter, sad occasions, I just can't do it. I maybe torn to pieces inside, but on the outside I'm emotionless I went to a funeral last year and my family were heartbroken and I just couldn't show anything. The thing is I'm expected to cry. I feel guilt for not crying, but in theory I should be able to not show it if I don't want. However, where exactly does it go? This pain, this hurt, surely it can't be good to keep it on the inside. I love films. I think they're great. An excellent way of reaching the world, getting a message across. I can cry at films like a baby, all the emotion that i haven't shown comes spilling out. I don't mean just an odd tear. i mean proper crying. Sometimes from start to finish they are my favourite kinds of films. They give me a release, and I always feel better afterwards. This just makes me feel worse about my emotionless self though. I can't cry at a funeral but I can cry at a film that isn't even real. There must be sonmething wrong with me. I've thought about it alot. I still haven't come to a conclusion on it, but at least it shows I have the capacity to show some emotion, which is a start!

Now another way I show emotion is through football. Yes I declare I'm werid. This is something else that I find it easy to show emotion for. i don't have a choice about it. It takes me over and I just go along with it. When I studied sociology (ugh!) they discussed the passion that fans have for the team they follow. In general football is a working class game, so generally men would go to a game on a Saturday afternoon, after they'd spent a week working hard and it was their outlet. It was the only way they were able to articulate their emotion, their frustration. They would live it through their team, the good times, the bad, in that 90mins they got rid of so much pent up aggression, everyone needs to channel it somewhere, they mustn't of heard of blogs huh?

We all show emotion in different ways, we all have different emotions, different opinions, different thoughts. Some people we agree with, some we don't. It's all about respect and understanding. Respecting them differences and learning from them. We may not always like what we see or hear but we do learn from it and to disagree is our right. To educate people, teach each other, share emotions, share feelings. Just as long as we remember, we are all different.

Comments
on Jun 22, 2004
Emotion is the one unpredictable thing in this life, the one thing you can't attempt to change or alter and that really scares me. Like really really scares me. Just because you cry at movies and not in life doesn't mean you are wrong. We are different. You're right.

-Scarlett xx
on Jun 22, 2004
sal, you seem well able to articulate your emotions in writing. there is no way i would describe you as "emotioness". you may be reserved at showing your emotions, but as scarlett says, that's not wrong, it's just your way.

and i SO envy you your ability to "write it out" so to speak.

great article.

mig XX
on Jun 22, 2004
Thanks for the comment Scarlett! I know what you mean, emotions are something beyond our control, and for a control freak like me that is truely scary!

Mother Mig, hehe!

and i SO envy you your ability to "write it out" so to speak


I think everyone has that in them, writing tends to just flow and you can go anywhere that's why I find it so easy. I guess everyone is different and we all have our own ways of dealing with, reserved rather than retarded, I like it!
on Jun 23, 2004
. I can't cry at a funeral but I can cry at a film that isn't even real. There must be sonmething wrong with me.

Not at all babe. The real life things are probably too painful for you to express emotion about at the time. Sometimes we need to hold it all in inorder to keep ourselves from falling apart. And I'm sure it is all coming out when you watch those movies.

Did you know that the chemical composition of our tears is different depending on the reason we cry? So when you cry from sadness and cry from pain and cry (or eyes water, is closer) from onions or something in your eye, the tears are all different. The tears from sadness contain all manner of chemical compounds associated with neurotransmitters, such as serotonin and dopamine (and many many more) which are associated with emotion. So you are have a literal as well as figurative emotional release when you cry.

Apparently, although I can't really remember the research from this, you also store your emotions in the muscles which get most tense when you're stressed (for me it would be my shoulders). When autopsies have been done to determine any toxins in these areas they have again found an excess of these hormones and chemicals - more so than you would expect to find in normal muscle tissue. This is supposed to be the reason many people cry when having deep tissue massage - it's causing these chemicals to surge back into our bodies creating the same state as when they went in, albeit a little less intense.

So whether or not we express our emotions externally, they are being expressed in our bodies. And as the old adage goes, better out than in. And there's nothing wrong with finding another medium to express your emotion through. I hate public tears and will reserve mine for a time when I can cry without someone trying to calm me down (I HATE that - sometimes you just need to cry) and without the embarassment of the crying face and red, puffy eyes. No one looks pretty when they cry! But as you say, everyone's different!

I like the part about the football fans. Helps me understand a little better what's going on in Portugal!

(And sorry - the psychology degree had to jump out and run around for a while. It was expensive, it may as well get some use!)
on Jun 23, 2004
So whether or not we express our emotions externally, they are being expressed in our bodies. And as the old adage goes, better out than in. And there's nothing wrong with finding another medium to express your emotion through. I


Thanks for this amazing comment! I guess it doesn't matter how we get rid of our emotions, just as long as we do. It's all about finding our own level and working for it! I also hate crying in public, and if ever I'm caught short and I do (god forbid!) then the last thing I want is someone coming and making me feel even more stupid, good intentions, maybe, but it is just drawing attention to my weakness, no thank you!

I like the part about the football fans. Helps me understand a little better what's going on in Portugal!


Yeah I've become obsessed with football! What I said is no excuse for the thugish behaviour that goes on, that's just little boys, who are too stupid to express their emotions any other way than punching somone, not everyway is positive I guess!

And sorry - the psychology degree had to jump out and run around for a while.


Haha your degrees just taught me a thing or two, where should I send the money?