I've bonded with my television again, we are attending couselling and should make a full recovery. There's two television programmes recently that have got my attention. One is about the beauty pageant girl who was murdered and one is about pushy parents. The one about Jon-Benet Ramsey was on last night, I was tempted to watch it, but having previously watched a programme about her and knowing how upset that got me, I decided against watching it. Last time the programme completely infuriated me. These parents pushing their children, grrr! This little girl was six years old when she was killed, she'd be fourteen now. I don't really want to discuss her death, as I don't have enough details about it, and it's to sad of a subject to talk about to lightly. It's the pushy parent thing I want to discuss.
I understand every parent wants the best for their child. They want them to be successful, they want them to achieve things, to have hobbies, to be a fully rounded individual. It's good for the child too, to meet new people, have different hobbies, I have no problems with this, I actually support it. It's when these hobbies become more like chores than actual fun, that's when I have the problem. When parents try to live their own dreams and ambitions through their child, that's when I have the problem. Jon-Benet Ramseys Mother loved these beauty pageants. I dare say Jon-Benet Ramsey quite liked them, but she was six years old, did she know anything different? She travelled all over the country for these pageants, had dress fittings, practiced routines, wore make up, practiced the perfect smile. When I was six years old, I was playing with my dolls! Well actually that's a lie, toy cars, but same difference, hehe! No one likes to lose, should this child really be put through the rejection or losing? Being told she isn't good enough? It was a career for her, she was six years old, she was living her Mothers dream. She looked like she was a little lady, what people forget is, she was only a baby!
The advertised programme for pushy parents shows all these parents, claiming they are only doing what's best for their little cherub. They want them to act, model, be great sportschildren. They seem to forget they are children. They don't need pressure. They need to feel secure, and loved in everything they do. They are to young to know what they want to do in their life, is it right for these parents to make the decisions for them? They can give them options, show them what they can do, but not make the decision for them, that's just wrong. On this pushy parents programme it shows one loving Father, whos daughter just failed a dancing audition, she must be about seven. Instead of hugging her, wiping her tears, telling her she did her best and that was more than good enough for him. He shouted at her, said she would never be a success. Told her she should of practiced more. I realise you have to teach children the ways of life, prepare them for the world. That's just to much to soon though, they need to be just children first. They are growing up to fast.
My friends son Dominic is eight and he loves football with a passion. Manchester has two big football clubs, United and City. They both have a very strong youth base, they believe in finding them young. Dominic plays football for his school football team on a Saturday, and in my biased opinion he's very good. Well over a year ago, there was a scout from Manchester City watching them, and he picked Dominic to attend their soccer school. He loves it. They teach you ball skills, how to keep fit, how to play as a team. He plays matches against other teams, and in moderation it's fine. He has other hobbies, and it occupies his time. Eventually in a few years, they will decide if he's good enough to be signed to the youth team, but that's a long way off. There's a downside to this though, one so big, I doubt his Mum will let him sign, and rightly so. Once you are signed, you are only allowed to play football in the academy. No playing football in the street with your friends, or at the park. In case they get injured or learn bad habits. What the hell? They are little boys of no more than ten years old, it's not right. They should be allowed to enjoy what they love!
My parents never pushed me, they never forced me to do anything. I did Folk dancing for a while *embarrassed* but i didn't like it much. I made my own decisions, my parents supported what I decided to do, gave me encoragement, but never pushed me. I think it's good kids get out and do things, it develops them as people, but not to the point where it's the parent that's getting the most enjoyment out of it. they need space to grow as people, and at their own pace.