I don't really believe in love at first sight. I think there is much more to love than your eyes meeting across a crowded room, and the crowds suddenly parting in front of you, and forming a path to the love of your life. I don't buy it, sorry. I think that you can be instantly attracted to someone and you can get that feeling of lust, a feeling many people seem to confuse with actually loving someone. I believe that love is something that you build on, over time, and eventually love someone. You don't just instantly meet someone, and know that you love them, and that this will be forever. Life just isn't like that. So you meet someone, and at some point your feelings will grow for them, and hopefully theirs will in return. Now when two people come together to have a relationship, you have to remember they are two separate people. They don't suddenly form one unit. They are two very different people, with different ideas, and different beliefs, and experiences. Somehow you have to make it work, so that you can live together happily, and enjoy each others differences, and learn from them. That's part of the fun.

So a couple can be together initially, and they can like each other, be attracted to each other. I don't think that they fall in love at the same time, or at least they aren't willing to admit it at the same time. Peoples feelings develop at different rates. Some people have been hurt in the past, and therefore they are slower to let their guard down, and for their feelings to show. Others are just careful, and want to be completely sure about everything before they even consider the feelings of love. Others just fall head over heels in love straight away, and can't stop themselves from following their hearts. That's just the way the cookie crumbles. We are all different, and all we can bring to these situations is our own thoughts and feelings, and experiences. I think to be with someone, especially at the start of a relaionship, we have to respect this, and just go with the flow, otherwise we are going to cause problems before anything has actually begun.

I have a friend who has a boyfriend she started seeing a few months ago. She is madly in love with him. She is so in love with him, it makes me want to reach for a bucket. He knows she loves him, and she tells him at every possible opportunity she can. In her eyes she thinks she has met the guy she is going to spend the rest of her life with. I think he feels the same. He cares about her greatly, and it doesn't take much to see he is totally taken with her. However, he hasn't told her he loves her yet, and he has told her he won't until he is completely sure. This wasn't an issue for her at first. She fully respected it, and I think it even made her love him that bit more. Time has passed though, and she now feels that he should be ready to say them three little words to her. Still no sign of them though.

She has complained to me about this a few times, and has started to question his feelings for her. I told her to ask him about it if it was bothering her that much. So she did, and he told her that he cared about her deeply, and that he was sure that he would love her, but he just wasn't ready to say it at that point to her. This didn't go down well with her. She basically thinks that if he doesn't love her now, he never will. I personally don't think this is the case, the guy just doesn't want to rush into anything. Which is fair play, because love is a huge thing, and far to many people rush into it. You should wait until you are completely sure, and not before. I don't think there is anything wrong with that. My friend wouldn't listen though, and she told him that he had to either tell her that he loved her, or leave her. A ridiculous act if you ask me. He tried to talk her out of this, but she was having none of it. He had to make the choice to leave her. Not because he didn't love her, I think he did. Just because he wasn't ready to say it, and he wasn't going to be forced into it. Which was a strong decision on his part. I think my friend just lost a really good guy. You can't force any to say those three little words.