I want a baby!

Published on July 25, 2006 By Sally jacobs In Home & Family

I want a baby.

I was never really into dolls as a kid. I think it was mainly due to a traumatic barbie doll experience that I wrote about not long ago on here. I just was never really attracted to the whole carrying a doll around, feeding it, changing it, and putting it to sleep kind of thing, only to repeat the process 30 seconds later when I got bored. I was more of a toy cars, run around going mental kind of kid. Not alots changed, lol. To call myself ambitious I think would be wrong. Because unfortunately I have never really had a burning ambition for any career path. I have never wanted to make alot of money. I have never wanted to be a success in my chosen career. I've never wanted to be a stay at home Mummy either. Some of you are probably sitting there wondering, what do you want? I sit here and wonder that myself sometimes too.

When I was growing up my Mum was a stay at home Mum. There is quite a gap between my sisters and I, so as soon as they were reaching an age where she felt she didn't need to be constantly at home, and they could take more care of themselves, along I came and ruined that completely. So pretty much for a good 20 years she has stayed at home and looked after us bundles of joy. Well not so much anymore, but I was a bundle of joy at one point, honest. I remember all my way through school thinking that is the last thing that I wanted to do. Stay at home and look after a baby and husband. I just didn't see the point. I always had it in my mind that I wanted to provide for myself, and to be fully capable of taking care of myself, and one day in the long distant future I may consider having a family, and then I will still only stay home with my baby a few months and then go back to work, and life will return relatively to normal, right?

My sister having a baby has given me some insight into just how different reality is to how things go on in my imagination. My love for my niece is second to nothing. She is number one for me. If I don't see her for a few days I miss her, badly. There is nothing more I love than cuddling up to her at night and reading her a bedtime story and that feeling that there is no one else in the world but her and I, as we both get lost in these lands of fairytale and magic. So I imagine, that feeling is going to be even more intense with my own babies. So leaving them, I am not sure about anymore. It was never about for me that I would have a career that I really wanted to return too. That isn't something that drives me. It was more about having freedom and my own independence. I didn't want to be tied to a family, and a baby, and a house, and have nothing else going on but that.

Things have changed. Because I know the one thing that I want more than anything is a baby. I know I am young. I know that I have to wait a few years. I know that I have to find a loving partner who wants the same things. I know that I have to be able to provide for my baby. I know that babies aren't dolls. I know they are hard work. I know my life won't be my own anymore. I know that it will be damn hard work. I know that sometimes I will feel like I can't do it. Most of all I know that it will be more than worth it. I want a baby. I know there are many things that I have to do before then. I want a baby to be born into a loving family, where they will go without nothing, but one day, and that day isn't to far away, I want a baby. I know that life doesn't always work out the way you want it to, and for many reasons I know that I may not have a baby. Though that would be heartbreaking, and fingers crossed it wouldn't come to that, I would get over it. I am just happy that for once, I know what I want. I don't really know if I am wrong to want this. Should you want it? Or should it be something that just happens, when you are with the person you love? Should you have ambition to have children?

Comments

Dr Guy

on Jul 25, 2006

Take mine, please!

But seriously. The mother of my children and I waited almost 5 years to have our first, and it was not really planned. And I sweated bricks! WOrried about being a parent! Wondering what I would do with the unexpected (another story for a different blog). But we did ok. And you will. When the time is right.

Remember, that when you have a baby, 3 lives are affected. Yours, the fathers and the babies. If you just do a baby daddy route, you are depriving the baby of an important part of their life. Growing up with no father, I do have first hand experience on that last point.

Sally jacobs

on Jul 25, 2006

Doc you are completely right, I realise that there is a right way of doing things, and just because I know that I want a baby, I won't allow that to cloud my judgement on other matters. I realise that there are many other aspects of my life that I have to work on first. I know it will be many years before I am ready to have babies. I have to build a good solid relationship with someone, and I have to be financially secure before I even start to consider bringing another life into this world. I just know that I would like to do that one day. Thanks for the advice though, you are a wise man

dynamaso

on Jul 25, 2006

As you know, Toni and I won't be having children. It is something we had discussed at length and our decision was based on where we wanted to go with our lives. As you also know, many people have children without any discussion whatsoever. It is one of the few things let to us that the government has no control over and doesn't require some sort of training or a license.

I think you'll make a great mother one day and given how you are thinking about it already, I'm sure you'll be a smart parent, one who understands all the implications and is prepared to meet all the challenges.

Now, all you need to do is find the right man and you'll be set.

uDigItTheMost

on Jul 26, 2006

---Should you want it? Or should it be something that just happens, when you are with the person you love? Should you have ambition to have children?---

If it's something you truly want and know the responsibilities why not want it, or have ambitions. From the article you wrote, it sounds like not only will you be loving parent but also one with common sense.

It may sound like you're in hurry to have a baby but you already know you're young plus you know you want your baby in a loving home. Being with your niece may make you desire a baby even more but it will also make you a better parent.

When the time is right, and you feel that in your head and heart it is, I think only you and your special someone can make the decision. It doesn't matter what we think, and from what I read it sounds like you ARE waiting until the time is right.

BTW ... Here's my answer to a question you asked on another article you wrote. The title of THIS article is my best chat-up line.

JillUser

on Jul 26, 2006

You know you want a baby but do you know that you want to be a parent? Babies aren't babies for long and believe it or not, there are much more difficult things about having children than caring for a baby. But it certainly sounds like you are on the right track. Knowing that you need a partner and stability before having a baby is wise. Having children is difficult enough when you feel completely committed and prepared.

You never know what challenges you might face when becoming a parent. There will be 6yrs between my youngest son and the baby I'm about to have partly because of doing a lot of considering about how another baby would affect the family. You have to consider risks to your own health as well as the possibilty of the baby having problems. Not all babies are born perfect little packages. Some have unforseen problems from birth and some develop unforseen problems down the road.

It's scary stuff taking on that kind of responsibility but if you are certain that that is what you want, then I am sure you and your child will end up bringing each other endless happiness. Parenting really is the toughest job you'll ever love.

Boy, that sounded preachy. I just see a lot of people fall in love with the thought of having a baby only to become disenchanted once that baby becomes a child. I have absolutely no reason to think you are one of those people though so my comments are meant more for the general reader than directed at you personally.

Sally jacobs

on Jul 26, 2006

From the article you wrote, it sounds like not only will you be loving parent but also one with common sense.

Thanks, that's very nice of you to say!

It may sound like you're in hurry to have a baby but you already know you're young plus you know you want your baby in a loving home. Being with your niece may make you desire a baby even more but it will also make you a better parent

I know that there are lots of things to achieve before I get that far, but I think that it is good to know what I want and to make sure I do the right things for it.

BTW ... Here's my answer to a question you asked on another article you wrote. The title of THIS article is my best chat-up line

Haha! I love it...the ladies must love you

As you also know, many people have children without any discussion whatsoever. It is one of the few things let to us that the government has no control over and doesn't require some sort of training or a license.

I think it should require some kind of license at times! But then again who am I to judge peoples parenting skills!

think you'll make a great mother one day and given how you are thinking about it already, I'm sure you'll be a smart parent, one who understands all the implications and is prepared to meet all the challenges.

Thanks Maso...fingers crossed!

Now, all you need to do is find the right man and you'll be set.

Ahh...the first hurdle...so where do I meet men??

But it certainly sounds like you are on the right track. Knowing that you need a partner and stability before having a baby is wise. Having children is difficult enough when you feel completely committed and prepared.

I know how difficult children are, I realise that they don't stay babies forever and they are hard work! You can never know to the full extent until you have your own though!

It's scary stuff taking on that kind of responsibility but if you are certain that that is what you want, then I am sure you and your child will end up bringing each other endless happiness. Parenting really is the toughest job you'll ever love.

I don't think I will find anything anymore rewarding! Thanks for the words though they mean alot.

I have absolutely no reason to think you are one of those people though so my comments are meant more for the general reader than directed at you personally.

They are wise words, and very relevant, so thank you.

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