Act like a lady!

Published on July 8, 2006 By Sally jacobs In Life Journals

I have a problem. I am a boring old frump. It is official. My friend recently introduced me to a girl she works with. They get on pretty well, and this girl is spending more and more time with our group of friends. I have made an effort with this girl, I really have. I just don't like her. It's as simple as that. I feel bad for it, especially considering the reasons I don't like her, because they are quite pathetic. First of all, she is loud. It isn't just that she talks alot (though she does), she doesn't just talk to you, she talks to everyone in a 3 mile radius, this becomes a million times worse when she has a drink inside her. She's rude too. Something all my other friends seem to find quite amusing, so I am starting to think that it is just me. She doesn't think twice about doing things that other people would, she will quite happily fart, burp, pick her nose, sit with her legs wide open, eat like a pig in front of you, and not think anything of it. Now part of me thinks that you should be able to behave the way you want to behave without fitting into the constraints of society. I just don't like it though.

I was brought up to have manners. There are certain ways to behave, and there are certain ways not to behave. Now until I met this girl I always felt that I was quite open minded. That girls should be able to behave in the same way as boys. I do realise that I would be more accepting of a bloke behaving in this manner, than I am this girl. I just find her disgusting. We all went out for something to eat the other day, and it was like watching a pig in its trough. She actually put me off my food. I was surprised she managed to miss her mouth so much, considering it's so big. Grr....I know, I am mean. I can't help it, she just irritates me. Then after we had finished eating, she started burping, I thought she was going to attempt the alphabet. I just don't think that is the correct way to behave. I can't help thinking that. If I had ever done that, my Mum would have give me a slap sharpish, and it would have never happened again. My friends encourage this behaviour though. They giggle and laugh, and think it's hilarious, and I am the only one sat there with a face like a slapped arse.

Am I out of order? I really don't know. I know that it isn't a great reason to take a disliking to someone, and I can take such behaviour within reason, but I just find her far to much. It also winds me up that I feel this behaviour is more to get attention than the way she actually behaves. What a way to get attention off people? I am going to try and put these issues aside, and make an effort to really get to know her, and see beyond these little issues. I just don't know how long I can bite my tongue for though. Maybe I am just an old grump bag, and I should be a little more laid back.

I did a search on google, to see what the general ideas were on the way a lady should behave, this is what I got;

Ladies Should;

be sexy, but not too sexy

take care of the house

take care of the kids

try to be superwoman

put their needs aside

be clean

be available to men

You know what my thoughts were after seeing this? Ladies should BE how they want to BE. Which just blows out of the water what I have said about this girl. That list might suit some ladies, but others might want to go their own way, and who am I to say they are wrong? You could argue that I just have an issue with general good manners, but I know that if that was a bloke, I would be more accepting of the behaviour? So am I wrong to feel this way? I just don't know.

Comments

Gene Nash

on Jul 08, 2006

I wonder if your friends aren't just letting her hang around for the amusement factor? I mean, watching the monkey at the zoo hurl his poop at the glass can be very entertaining for a while, but then the fun wears off and life goes on.

When her act runs its course I wouldn't be surprised if they see her for the bore you do. By the time you learn to accept her, she may not be around to accept.

As for the "ladylike" aspects -- I wouldn't have much to do with her either, but then I also wouldn't be very accepting of a man who acted that way. Not only would I find the person an embarrassment, I'd feel it reflected badly on me for hanging around them. After all, the person who enters a room with a chimpanzee is something of a freak show. He might get a lot of attention, but it's not healthy or positive attention. (Think of Michael Jackson and "Bubbles.")

Couth and decorum do have their place.

terpfan1980

on Jul 08, 2006

From your description, I'm thinking there's definitely some transgender thing going on. Sounds like "she's" been one of the guys too long, or is trying to be one of the guys. Too bad most guys wouldn't care much for a partner that is like them.

Locamama

on Jul 08, 2006

I think there's a happy medium between "ladylike" and uncouth and rude. I wouldn't want to hang out with someone like that. I think it would embarass me.

M-Post

on Jul 08, 2006

I think I've already been on ship too long... heard enough farting and belching in the last week to last me a few lifetimes.

Admitedly though.. it just doesn't go right at all.. male or female....

Though.. there was this one fart contest in boot camp....... *laughs*

Feisty_in_ohio

on Jul 08, 2006

I agree - what a bore. Why would you want to hang around with someone like that?
It's not fun to be around someone rude & crude. You'd get tired of a guy like that too.

Are you in Ohio? Sounds like someone I work with. She's distracting, people avoid her, and it holds her back business-wise.

Trudygolightly

on Jul 08, 2006

There's a friend in my support group of ladies, and she's extremely loud ( even though everyone tells and asks her to tone it down) is rude with her eating habits, picks her teeth, and in general we're glad when she's not able to make the luncheon.... We love her dearly as a person, detest her lack of manners and how she ignores our requests to lower her voice....

I don't think you're at all frumpy or being a grump just because this woman's behavior is appalling!

We get to choose who we hang with, and certainly the other people, along with you, will eventually be too embarrassed to have her around. If she's a valuable assett otherwise maybe someone can talk to her??

I had someone visit me once that picked their nose, wiped it on their jeans, and I never invited that person to my home again! There's some things we shouldn't have to explain to our company..

MasonM

on Jul 08, 2006

Sounds like a real pig. I wouldn't hang out with another guy like that, let alone a woman.

Dr Guy

on Jul 08, 2006

While I may not agree with your definition of a lady (Supergirl is more like it), I do think she is gauche. But give her more time. It may be a passing fad and she may turn out to be a great gal.

Or maybe not. Time will tell. But you decide how much to invest.

Sally jacobs

on Jul 09, 2006

I hope you're right. I kind of think there must be something I'm missing? That she is a really great person underneath it all? Or maybe they are just laughing at her and will get tired of it soon, though if that's the case, I think it is a little cruel, and maybe someone should say something to her!

After all, the person who enters a room with a chimpanzee is something of a freak show. He might get a lot of attention, but it's not healthy or positive attention. (Think of Michael Jackson and "Bubbles.")

Hehe, thanks Gene, you always manage to make me laugh!

Yes even though the boys laugh at it, I know that these are not qualities they would like in a potential partner. I just don't know how she thinks acting like that can be at all attractive!

I think there's a happy medium between "ladylike" and uncouth and rude. I wouldn't want to hang out with someone like that. I think it would embarass me.

It embarrasses me! I was just worried that I was acting a little too snobby! She is rude, there is no doubt about it. I don't want her to be completely ladylike, but just plain table manners would be a start, hehe!

I think I've already been on ship too long... heard enough farting and belching in the last week to last me a few lifetimes.

Ahhh, I bet you fit in really well don't you! A ship full of men....what fun!

I agree - what a bore. Why would you want to hang around with someone like that?
It's not fun to be around someone rude & crude. You'd get tired of a guy like that too.

Yeah I would get tired of a bloke like that, but I would be a little more understanding of it though. There are just some things that are basic good manners though, for both men and women!

No one else seems to see it as a problem at the moment. Just me. If it continues, I think I will just try and keep out of her way as much as possible. They can be friends with her if they like, but I have a choice if I want to be around that or not, and I really don't.

is rude with her eating habits, picks her teeth, and in general we're glad when she's not able to make the luncheon.... We love her dearly as a person, detest her lack of manners and how she ignores our requests to lower her voice....

You would think she would pay attention really. Some people just don't care, I guess. I haven't even given this girl a chance as a person really, and I guess that's why I feel bad. I just can't see past the rudeness and loudness. I will see how it goes, and maybe I will start to really like the REAL her.

Sounds like a real pig. I wouldn't hang out with another guy like that, let alone a woman.

At least I'm not alone! Hehe!

While I may not agree with your definition of a lady (Supergirl is more like it), I do think she is gauche. But give her more time. It may be a passing fad and she may turn out to be a great gal.

I will give it a little more time Doc, but my patience is getting lower by the day. I wasn't blessed with a great deal of patience as it is. I don't really agree with the definition of a lady, I think women are difficult to define because we fill so many different roles. Because we are completely wonderful, obviously!

Trudygolightly

on Jul 09, 2006

I think women are difficult to define because we fill so many different roles. Because we are completely wonderful, obviously!

Wow! what a wonderful definition! that's saying it all

dynamaso

on Jul 09, 2006

Sally,

Your 'friend' sounds like she could be in need of some 'Ladette to Lady' training. While I am no prude and understanding we all need to burp, fart etc, there is a time and place for everything. I do hope your friends realise soon enough how uncouth she is and move on.

So am I wrong to feel this way? I just don't know.

I don't think you're wrong at all. In fact, you seem to be the only one in your group of friends with any social sense. As you say, laughing at her not only encourages her to continue this behaviour but it also highlights a level of immaturity with your friends (I hope you don't take offense at this but I'm telling it as I see it).

MasonM

on Jul 10, 2006

with any social sense.

It's called class.

island_gurl12

on Jul 10, 2006

Hey babe, we cant like EVERYBODY we meet. I say dont try to force yourself too much. It seems that you have already tried and you seem abit on the edge. Maybe try and ask your friends what they really think of her as a person. If they say something that might interest you then maybe you can try a little harder. Otherwize take it easy and chill out. And let them know you cant stand her!

Not liking someone doesnt mean you're a bad person sweety, we're all human.

Good luck with Godzilla

dynamaso

on Jul 10, 2006

It's called class

You're right and dear Sally has this in spades.

Sally jacobs

on Jul 10, 2006

Wow! what a wonderful definition! that's saying it all

Yep it sure is! We don't deserve anything less!

While I am no prude and understanding we all need to burp, fart etc, there is a time and place for everything. I do hope your friends realise soon enough how uncouth she is and move on.

Yep I hope they do too. It is just showing me how different we all are.

also highlights a level of immaturity with your friends (I hope you don't take offense at this but I'm telling it as I see it).

Not at all, I know what you mean. I am generally known as the more sensible one in the group! Not sure that's a compliment or not!

It's called class.

It most certainly is

. It seems that you have already tried and you seem abit on the edge. Maybe try and ask your friends what they really think of her as a person.

I guess I do feel a bit bad about it, because I think that I must be missing something wonderful about her that they all see. You're right though babe, I know that we can't like everyone, and it is something I will just have to deal with.

Good luck with Godzilla

Hehe, thanks babe, that made me giggle!

You're right and dear Sally has this in spades.

*scratches her arse* Thanks Maso...hehe....

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