You make me giggle Doc!

That is high praise.  Thank you.

But you hunny, shouldnt worry about being with such a jackass, lol! You have a great super fun personality. Whoever finds you will never want to leave you

Amen, Emilia! Sally is a great catch, now if those silly English boys would open up their eyes . . .

Love ya, Sally!

Reply By: San Chonino

If only I had a sister for you!

Physical attraction is part of marriage as well. We don't have a lot of control over what we're physically attracted. If ones wife lets her self go and gains a lot of weight, the result may be a simple matter of loss of physical attraction. Each person has their own threshold on when someone is no longer attractive. On the flip side, I've seen plenty of women end up leaving their husbands for finanical reasons (i.e. where the man would squander their money depleting their savings on frivelous things). Should a woman be tied to a man who keeps them on the edge of poverty?The problem with marriage is the idea that it should be tied together by principle rather than mutual self-interest. The moment one party begins to take that for granted and believe that the other is tied to them because of marriage vows is the minute the marriage is heading for an untimely end.

Agree,
Lately my wife of 7 years now is laying into the ice Cream night after night, and guess what, she is now sporting a belly.
It does not change my affection for her, but there is a limit to what a husband can still find attractive, and gladly mine has not been reached yet.

It is out of my control if she continues to plump up, it is her choice.
I find the best tactic is to keep yourself in shape and give the woman the support and room to do so also if she chooses.
But wives do have to remember there are **no guarantees** that their husband will have the same feelings if the choose to plump up.

Sally, you do have nice articles that fire people up!
Keep it up

My husband has promised to let me know if my size becomes an issue with him. So far so good, and my weight has fluctuated quite a bit throughout our marriage.

I'm my largest ever right now at a size 14 (can you believe I said that out-loud, hehe), and I've gotten NO complaints from my man! I imagine he wouldn't have been nearly as attracted to me had I been this size when we met at age 16/17, though.

I think our standards for attraction loosen somewhat with age, life experience, and comfort with/love for our spouses. There are limits, of course, to what can be accepted as attractive, but that's very much a personal preference thing that differs from person to person.

Young guys are likely to go for thin, toned girls. Lucky for them, young girls are typically thin and toned! Older guys are far more accepting of thigh jiggle and tummy pudge, even in a new relationship.

Reality tends to wear down our high expectations. Hahahaa.

PS - Who CHOOSES to "plump up"?

PS - Who CHOOSES to "plump up"?

People choose not to put effort into trying to look good.  I choose to try to keep some remote semblance of being in shape. In the sense that I don't just eat whatever I want and I try to excercise. I do that for myself but also for my wife since I want to look good for her or at least as close as I can look to good.

People choose not to put effort into trying to look good. I choose to try to keep some remote semblance of being in shape. In the sense that I don't just eat whatever I want and I try to excercise. I do that for myself but also for my wife since I want to look good for her or at least as close as I can look to good.

I'm just wondering who all these people are who don't care at all about how they look? I'm pretty low maintenance and not too fussy about appearance, but I do try to keep some reign on how fat, slovenly, or otherwise yucky I allow myself to get.

I want to look nice to my husband, but also I want to fit into clothes I like. Haha. That's a primary motivating factor for me.

I really just wonder who these women are who just decide, "Screw it" and become obese. I mean, most women I know fight it and sincerely try, even if they can't manage to stay a size 6.

Nitro:

Shallow or not at least the guy was up-front and made his intentions known.

I agree. He is honest at least with how he feels. And my friend is perfectly alright with that, so good luck to them. I do think that his opinions will change. It's good to know what you want though!

Doc:

That is high praise. Thank you.

You are more than welcome

Charlie Chonino:

Amen, Emilia! Sally is a great catch, now if those silly English boys would open up their eyes . .

Aww love ya too babe! I'm blushing now, you sweetie! Maybe it will take someone visiting England....the boys here are just to silly!

Texas:

I'm my largest ever right now at a size 14 (can you believe I said that out-loud, hehe), and I've gotten NO complaints from my man! I imagine he wouldn't have been nearly as attracted to me had I been this size when we met at age 16/17, though.

Texas you are beautiful, he would be crazy to say such a thing to you!

I think our standards for attraction loosen somewhat with age, life experience, and comfort with/love for our spouses. There are limits, of course, to what can be accepted as attractive, but that's very much a personal preference thing that differs from person to person.

I agree this is something typical of younger men, and like you said most young girls are slim, so they come to expect it. As they get older hopefully they will realise there is much more to it.

PS - Who CHOOSES to "plump up"?

Exactly!

SushiK:

Lately my wife of 7 years now is laying into the ice Cream night after night, and guess what, she is now sporting a belly.It does not change my affection for her, but there is a limit to what a husband can still find attractive, and gladly mine has not been reached yet.

Have you told her your feelings on this? I think in small doses it's alright, it's when it becomes all she does that you have to worry. I wonder if there is a reason for it?

Sally, you do have nice articles that fire people up!Keep it up

Thank you, that's very nice of you to say

Brad:

People choose not to put effort into trying to look good. I choose to try to keep some remote semblance of being in shape. In the sense that I don't just eat whatever I want and I try to excercise. I do that for myself but also for my wife since I want to look good for her or at least as close as I can look to good.

I agree people should take pride in their appearance, and most of all do what makes them feel happy. I am sure many people who are plump don't feel happy with this. People should do whatever they can so they are confident, and content, before they even consider anyone else.

Thanks for the comments x

I really just wonder who these women are who just decide, "Screw it" and become obese. I mean, most women I know fight it and sincerely try, even if they can't manage to stay a size 6.

I personally don't think women choose to do that. I think most likely a battle they fight with themselves on a daily basis. I don't know though. I can only judge it from my perspective, and I know that if I was in that position, I would do what it takes to get back in shape. For some people I am guessing that it's more difficult to do that. I don't believe it is a decision people make.

Gaining weight is the accumulation of decisions to eat more than one is burning off through exercise/metabolism. For some, being fat is a decision without consideration or a sense of responsibility for the end result.

Whether or not it's a deal breaker depends on what each married the other for. For example, if the husband knew that marrying his wife would mean meeting her lofty lifestyle then he'd be foolish to think that she'd be OK with him switching to a less lucrative career.

What the ideals of marriage are and why we actually marry may be very different things.

Gaining weight is the accumulation of decisions to eat more than one is burning off through exercise/metabolism. For some, being fat is a decision without consideration or a sense of responsibility for the end result.

I do think that people do that, but I also think they reach a point where they want to change it, and some find that more difficult than others. It is something that can creep on you I guess.

For example, if the husband knew that marrying his wife would mean meeting her lofty lifestyle then he'd be foolish to think that she'd be OK with him switching to a less lucrative career.

Like you said, it's about why you married and what you get out of it. I personally think if I was with a man, and he felt that he could no longer be with me because I'd gained weight, I'd happily pack his bags for him .

Thanks for the comment x

When my parents got married my Dad told my Mom that if she ever weighed more than him he'd divorce her.

I'm not sure my mom remembered him saying this but he's lived his life regretting it. I only found out about this a few years ago when my Dad had a heart attack. He said he always ate alot because he always wanted to weigh more than her. They got fat together.

But they've been married for over 40 years and I can't see them divorced for any reason. It was just a stupid young man's remark. Men do change and a lot of them get fat too!

don't be offended ladies. just raise the bar for yourself, as well. fine and dandy, as i plan on taking care of my appearance long term, for my OWN self esteem not to keep some man in my life. if the man i'm with happens to grows lazy, develop a beer gut and "lets themselves go", i'm moving on to greener pastures myself. the attitude this boy has is perfectly capable of working both ways and honestly i think men should be more worried than women, as most of the women i know in their senior years are healthier, slimmer and more energetic than their male counterparts.