Pity Party Anyone?

Published on May 19, 2006 By Sally jacobs In Life Journals

I have a question....what do you do when you love someone so much it hurts, but they don't love you back? Do you gather up what dignity you have left and move on? Or do you realise that this person is so special that you just can't pass them by, and simply have them as a friend, even though you find it impossible to shake of the fact that you completely adore them? If only feelings were easy huh. If only it was just a black or white answer. A simple yes or no. Instead I feel like I am lost somewhere in the grey area. I am only feeling like this because of my frame of mind today. I feel kind of restless, and for lack of a better word, blah! I want to do something, but I don't know what. I'm not unhappy, yet I don't feel happy. I am in no mans land. Somewhere in the middle. The weather has reflected my mood today. One minute it is raining madly, and the next it is really sunny. We just can't make up our mind today. I blame this partly on my lack of sleep. For the last week or so I have just not slept, and when I have it is restless and hot and horrible and I wake up feeling more tired than I went to bed. My sleeping isn't great at the best of times. I nap like a three year old child. It's pretty bad. By early evening I am ready to crawl into bed ane get a good hours sleep. Currently I can't even nap. I don't know if it's things on my mind or what. I just can't explain it. I am the type of person that thinks about things. I think, and I think until I find a solution. Things generally don't bother me for longer than a day. There is a problem though. I don't know what's bothering me.

The question I asked at the start of this blog may have something to do with it. I feel kind of lost, and you know what would be really nice right now? Just to have someone to give me a big hug and say everything is going to be alright, and for them to really mean it, and for them to really care. There it is, bang! I know what's bothering me. Wow.....writing really is good therapy. Something happened this week in my family, well it's an ongoing thing, and I could tell that no one really had faith in me. That hurt. The people that loved me most weren't there to support me, and they should of. There was only one person who was there for me, and would you believe it is the person that lead me to ask that question at the start of my blog? The people that do love me, weren't there for me. Isn't it ironic...don't you think? *sigh* Life is funny sometimes. When I was younger I thought I would meet my prince charming. I truely believed that there was someone out there for everyone. Like they were just made for you. A perfect fit. Maybe that's my problem, maybe I am a misfit...I would laugh at that...but I'm not in the mood. I feel a chick flick and ice-cream coming on. Anyone fancy coming to my pity party? You have to provide your own ice-cream though

I feel I should write some more, but I just don't have a great deal to say, and maybe that's lucky. Everyone needs a good moan at times....this is just mine!

Comments

Dr Guy

on May 19, 2006

You should read Island Gurl's blog. I think you are 2 hearts in one soul separated by distance.

As for your question, my answer is yes I have. And the hardest thing was to move on. But I cannot make some one love me. Should they ever forgive me for my perceived weaknesses, I will be there. But I cannot live my life pursuing someone who no longer cares for me.

Moderateman

on May 19, 2006

I still love every woman I spent serious time with, most the time I moved on, sometimes it was they that moved on.

Either way it's painfull, but for now just stepping back might be best for you, let the pain lessen then attempt to make friends.

To expose yourself to constant pain because you cannot have him the way you want to is dangerous to yourself, Unless you are into that kind of suffering best to put some distance between you.

MM a.k.a. joeusers version of dear abby. lol

Dr Guy

on May 19, 2006

MM a.k.a. joeusers version of dear abby. lol

Dear Abby gets a cookie.

Sally jacobs

on May 19, 2006

Thanks so much guys for your responses, you are all really lovely! After a bowl of Ice Cream and some laughing at freaks on Big Brother, I feel slightly better!

Should they ever forgive me for my perceived weaknesses, I will be there. But I cannot live my life pursuing someone who no longer cares for me.

They are hard words to come to terms with, but ones at some point I think I am going to have to face. I really wish I could look in defiance, and say it's their loss, but really I'm just thinking, what's wrong with me?

To expose yourself to constant pain because you cannot have him the way you want to is dangerous to yourself, Unless you are into that kind of suffering best to put some distance between you.

Thanks Dear Abby! I don't want to lose a really good friend though, and parts of me feels like I would be cutting my nose off to spite my face. I know where I stand with them. Maybe I do need to take a step back though, and let them feelings subside a little.

Wow LW, that's some story. My situation is nowhere as intense as that. Though I do know what you mean. I do think that I have my snapping point. That one day he will just do or say something, and it will all become clear to me that there is no hope. Maybe it's because I have some hope for him, and I can't let go of that. I am sure that day will come, and maybe it will be good for both of us, because then we can move on, and have a really good friendship. Thanks for sharing that, it did help to know other people go through this.

Thanks all again x

dynamaso

on May 21, 2006

Hey Sally, as you know from my email, sometimes us blokes can't even see Ms. Right, even when she is standing in front of us waving madly. I sure do hope this man comes to his senses sooner rather than later. I have a feeling that when he does, you two will be very happy.

Wow.....writing really is good therapy

Aint it just...

Sally jacobs

on May 22, 2006

Aww thanks Maso, and I think that's part of the reason why I like your story so much. It gives me hope, that you get there in the end. I am not sure that he will come to his senses, but at least I do have a really good friend, which is better than nothing! Thanks again x

dynamaso

on May 23, 2006

I'm glad my little story helped out, even in some small way. I tell you what, it doesn't get any easier the older you get, either. I thought by the time I was the age I am now, I'd understand myself and the opposite sex. I'm am so far away from this being true, I may as well be on Mars (or Venus

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