"Conversation should be pleasant without scurrility, witty without affectation, free without indecency, learned without conceitedness, novel without falsehood."
Published on May 17, 2006 By Sally jacobs In Misc
When you are a sports fan, you get passionate about your team. You follow your team. You cheer when they win. You cry when they lose. That's the way it goes. My chosen sport, football (soccer) is the working class game. Men go on a weekend to watch their team. They have worked hard all week, and any frustration, annoyance, they can get rid of whilst they cheer for their team, and inject all their passion in the game. Of course that was before the game became about money, now they are lucky if they can afford to watch it on the tv. Anyway, there's a new way to get rid of your aggression, and where would that be? Well my friends, that would be right here. The internet is a wonderful place for the faceless rants of those frustrated and angry with life. You see it on forums all the time. Mindless, pointless rants of people who just want to cause a bit of trouble. There is a difference between those that rant and rave with reason, and those that do it for the sake of it. Some people are looking for trouble, and ever so pleased when they recieve a response, because that's what they thrive on. They make a comment, not because they believe in it, not because it's something they really feel passionate about, but because it will annoy you. It will allow them to recieve attention, that maybe they are lacking in the real world.

Now I am guilty of this behaviour, and I admit to it. I have had a bad day, or I'm just generally in a bad mood, and I will react badly to something I read or a comment someones made, and maybe respond in a way I normally wouldn't. I think that's different though. We all have bad days, and well sometimes you over react to things. That's human nature. The people I don't understand are those who are openly looking for a fight? I just don't get it. If someones annoyed you, and you want to tell them, fair enough. If you don't agree with an opinion and you wish to share yours, fair enough. Some people just seem to dio it for the sake of it. I used to think it was just people who were a little stupid. You would read what they write, and you would realise that maybe this person just wasn't capable of sharing their emotions in any other way, than abusing anyone who came into contact with them. However, I have seen this behaviour from people who I consider to be intelligent people, who really have something to say. These people don't need to throw their toys out of their pram. They don't need to start a war of words. I'm not just talking about this website, though I have seen this behaviour here, I'm talking about the internet as a whole. On blog sites, I do wonder if some of it is just for attention, to make people read. When I see someone doing that, when they don't need to, it does make me wonder.

Sites like this one, and forums, and whatever else, should be about sharing your thoughts and opinions, and sharing those that others have. It should be about interacting with people on a certain level. How you would in the real world. With the same respect, and in the same manner. It shouldn't be about shouting the odds, and giving people a hard time. Don't get me wrong, I know these things will happen. I know that this is an escape for some people, and I know that sometimes passion can overtake the best of us. People who are just out for a fight though, should go elsewhere. They should respect the work people do at places like this. The admins that try and keep things fair, and the people who write, and share their points of view. The only thing I can say about those who are outright troublemakers, and who have nothing to say of any interest, is that we should be glad they are letting it out here, and not to some poor person in the real world. Would you like to be face to face with that?

Comments (Page 1)
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on May 17, 2006
I agree that people out for a fight should go elsewhere, but I have seen more than a few here that loved name calling and fighting self destruct. exiled, banned, gone, bye bye.
on May 17, 2006
Personally, I run from conflict. I don't know how other people can be bothered battling it out online. I'd just cry. But I'm a total geek.

I've noticed this tendancy to stir things up since I started blogging here. It probably is just an attention thing, as you said. Good, controlled debate is excellent, but rare. Too often things get personal.

Excellent article Sal, and pertinent.

Hope you're well.

D xx
on May 17, 2006

I agree that people out for a fight should go elsewhere, but I have seen more than a few here that loved name calling and fighting self destruct. exiled, banned, gone, bye bye.

Hehehehehe, that was before Belle Sally's tenure, but boy were they hot!  I rant on line, and have gotten into it with a couple of people at JU, but for the most part, I just ignore them.  Had it out on a private one that allowed us to come to an understanding.  Snapped at a few on bad days like Sally said too.  But I dont look to pick a fight.  Just debate issues, or read about friends far and wide who have differences in life style that we can appreciate.

on May 17, 2006
MM walking up and down the cyber room that is joeuser holding sign, "will fight for food" HEH HEH HEH
on May 17, 2006
I have seen more than a few here that loved name calling and fighting self destruct. exiled, banned, gone, bye bye.


Well that's the good thing, they can be stopped. You see them push their luck time and time again, until, snap, game over!

Hey Dyl!

It's no nice to see you. I'm doing well thanks, hope you are good too. I couldn't agree more, I don't mind some healthy debate, but when people are so obviously looking for an argument, I just walk away. Them people are better off playing with themselves!

But I dont look to pick a fight. Just debate issues, or read about friends far and wide who have differences in life style that we can appreciate.


Oh believe me, I have my moments where I rant and rave, or I just don't agree. We all do! It's how you deal with it. You can talk out differences, and though you may not agree with each other at the end, there is a mutual respect, because at least you are willing to listen!

MM walking up and down the cyber room that is joeuser holding sign, "will fight for food" HEH HEH HEH


Hehe.....want some watermelon

Thanks for the comments folks x
on May 17, 2006
Very well said, Sally.

I wrote something about this recently too. I can't see any point in name-calling etc because it does nothing to change a person's mind about an issue. To me it seems unnecessary and a complete waste of energy.

Some people just like to create dramas, is all. I ignore it and move on.
on May 18, 2006
Love the article, Sally.

I agree with you. I think that Dr. Guy said it best:

Just debate issues, or read about friends far and wide who have differences in life style that we can appreciate.


That's my theory, too. It's an easy one
on May 18, 2006

Reply By: San ChoninoPosted: Thursday, May 18, 2006
Love the article, Sally.

I agree with you. I think that Dr. Guy said it best:

Just debate issues, or read about friends far and wide who have differences in life style that we can appreciate

DITTO! 

besides,  having an arguement ruins a good debate.  Read that somewhere.

on May 18, 2006
I can't see any point in name-calling etc because it does nothing to change a person's mind about an issue. To me it seems unnecessary and a complete waste of energy.


I agree. Debate is good. Arguing is pointless!

Some people just like to create dramas, is all. I ignore it and move on.


Same here. I generally walk away from situations like that, and carry on in my own little bubble, hehe!

Love the article, Sally.


Thanks, and I'm glad you agree! The Dr has a way with words huh!

having an arguement ruins a good debate.


Ahh...I like that, I'm going to use that one....if that's ok?

They stoke the flames and stoke the flames, piling all sorts of foul and nasty fuel upon the conflagration, but when their target is finally able to confront them, they hurriedly delete the provocation, bat their eyelashes, and ask..."who me???"


You see these are the people that irritate me the most. That are incapable of standing their ground, and realise that their argument is completely riduclous, and therefore they have no response when questioned. Except to make themselves look more stupid (who would of thought that was possible?) and back down!

There's nothing wrong with a good row, but starting something that you cannot or will not finish, nor even say to the person's cyber-face is about as ignorant as it can get.


I couldn't agree more.

Thanks for all the comments x
on May 18, 2006
There's nothing wrong with a good row, but starting something that you cannot or will not finish, nor even say to the person's cyber-face is about as ignorant as it can get


Good point. Being a non-confrontational person, it has taken me a good many years to realise that sometimes, the only way I might get my point across is forcefully. Online, though, I tend to back right off as I can't see much point in arguing with someone I don't even know.
on May 19, 2006
Being a non-confrontational person, it has taken me a good many years to realise that sometimes, the only way I might get my point across is forcefully. Online, though, I tend to back right off as I can't see much point in arguing with someone I don't even know.


Yes some people only understand a certain way of speaking shall we say! Hehe. Regardless whether it's online or not, I always want to get my point across, though I generally don' want to start an argument just for the sake of it. Alot of times I will just back off.

LW, I didn't even realise that half of that stuff went on. I know that I have been accused in the past of being overly nice to people, and refusing to say anything that will get me in anyone bad books. I feel that was said to try and push me into an argument I really didn't want to get in though. If I have something to say I will say it, but alot of the time I do agree with people. I guess for some people that is wrong too...hehe...soz I can waffle at times!

Thanks for the comments!
on May 20, 2006
What amazes me the most is that most of the people who pull this sort of crap masquerade as 'peace loving, harmless and easy going' types, but are so full of hate and spite behind the scenes that they make even me look like a daisy-waving hippy.


Hehe...ahh you're not bad LW, you just speak your mind, there is nothing wrong with that. One thing I respect more than anything is straight talking people. I like to know where I stand with people. For someone to be nice to my face, and then awful behind my back, there is just no need. It is completely childish!
on May 20, 2006
Add to that the total fabrication of back-stories long deleted, and you find yourself portrayed in a fiction that couldnt be farther from the truth without the inclusion little green men with anal probes and baby eating dingos.


You know many of the arguments here I have not taken part in, but many of them I have read, and watched the outcome of them. One thing that has annoyed me about arguments you have been a part of, is when you have someone backed in a corner, and they have nowhere else to go, they bring up all crap that has gone on in the past, and things that they presume about you. Deal with the issue at hand, and if you're worng back down! I just don't see the point of doing anything else. You have always been honest, you haven't hid anything, and people seem to think they can use that against you. Sorry I don't really know where I am going with this....just my thoughts on things.

Like I've always said, here I am, warts and all. I'm not always right, I'm not always kind, and I'm not even interested in saying the 'right' thing, just calling things like I see them.


No one here is perfect, we all have our faults. Words are very powerful, and reading someones blog you can see right through them, you can spot the bad ones a mile off.
on May 21, 2006
Whip,

First of all, sorry I haven't gotten back to you sooner. My PC at home has died.

Well, I wasnt so much referring to forceful debate as much as I was referring to personal smears and character assasination. For instance, If I have something crappy to say to someone, I'll come right out and say it. [/quote}

And this is what I admire about you, Whip. I would like to be able to speak my mind with such vigour and passion as you do.

We're all adults here, or at least we're supposed to be, and these childish games and manipulations are just that, childish. And ingorant. And cowardly.


Indeed. I think this is the thing that bothers me more than anything else. Some say their motives are a deliberate gambit for open discussion but I see it as baiting someone into an argument. Childish, indeed.

Sally,

Regardless whether it's online or not, I always want to get my point across, though I generally don' want to start an argument just for the sake of it. Alot of times I will just back off.


Me too, particularly if it is apparent the other person is only speaking from a subjective, angry point of view. They're never going to change their minds or at least listen to what I have to say so I don't bother wasting my breath.
on May 22, 2006
considering the source while engaging in a little public humiliation always makes me feel more cheerful about that.


I must admit I do like reading you when you're giving it to someone who quite obviously deserves it.

Thats my story and I'm sticking to it. And...

A DINGO ATE MY BABY!!!


Yeah, sure, and kangaroos fly too, don't cha know
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