I was watching a tv show a few days ago, and there was a couple on it, that were claiming that social services had wrongly taken their children from them. Now I don't know if in their case that's right or wrong, but I'm sure that it must happen in some cases where these things happen, and people are accused of things, and they aren't correct. I've seen people get accused of child abuse, or of having indecent pictures of children, or whatever, and they are cleared of all charges. Yet that stigma stays with them. Getting accused of something, in some ways is worse than getting found guilty of it. Because when you are found guilty, you go away and you serve your time, you are punished. When you are just accused, and found innocent, many people seem to think that you have just escaped punishment, afterall, there is no smoke without fire. I've seen it happen many times over. A good example is celebrities that have been accused of such things. There are a few minor celebrities over here, whose names have been dragged through the mud, and then they were cleared. It is so difficult for them to rebuild their careers. The best that many of them can hope for is some voice over work. More recently Kate Moss was in the papers for drug abuse. Some of her advertisment details fell through, but on the whole she came through it career wise pretty unharmed. Was this because she admitted she had a problem? Or maybe because we can forgive drug abuse, but there are some things that are just unforgivable.
Now I have thought about where I stand on this topic, and though I can see both points, I have to admit that once I was in the situation, I don't know how I would deal with it. For example, if I had a child, and I asked my friend to look after my child, but I found out that many years ago her partner had been accused of child abuse(whether that's sexually or physically) but was cleared of all charges. Would I be fully comfortable leaving my child in their care? Honestly, I don't think I would. I know that's a terrible thing to say, but I can only be honest, and I think my gut instinct would be to take my child elsewhere. If and when I do have children they will be my number one priority, their safety and well being will be what matters to me, and I will do everything in my power to protect them from what I can. So why would I put them in a situation, where I didn't have 100% confidence in the people I was leaving them with? Even if my reasoning behind it, isn't altogether fair. I realise that for all I know that anyone could be guilty of these things, and you just never know, but I just think that my heart would tell me not to leave my child with them. On the other hand I could get to know my friends partner very well, and have complete confidence in him. I guess I will never know until I am in that situation.
What about if the shoe was on the other foot though, and I was accused of something? My world was turned completely upside down, and I was completely innocent? That I had my children taken away, and other people wouldn't trust me with their kids? How would I feel then? I know that I would feel awful, and anyone that is wrongly accused, my heart does go out to them. Because knowing what everyone thinks of you, even though you was only accused of something must be awful. You'd start to question whether those closest to you believed you. Whether they knew enough of your character to know you aren't capable of such things? Or would they be thinking, well you never can tell with people. Will they be questioning their own judge of character? How would I cope with people whispering behind my back? How would I convince people that I was innocent? Honestly I really do feel for these people, but I still stand by my gut instinct. Maybe I am wrong, but I am only human.