How to pick up chicks :)

Published on April 27, 2006 By Sally jacobs In Personal Relationships

Love, oh love sweet love. It's what we all really want. Deep down. We want someone to hold at night, someone who loves us and we love in return. We want company, someone to make us laugh, and someone to make us feel better when we cry. Obviously the space inbetween finding that person can be a little blurry and there are other pleasures that people are after with another person, but the need for love is in everyone, no matter if people admit it or not. So I want to talk about how people, mainly men, pick up women, the good old fashioned way, in a pub or a bar, or whatever. Them first moments of approaching someone and what you say. The art of picking someone up, and believe it or not boys there is an art to it, hard to believe, huh? So as research for this article I typed in 'how to pick up women' in google (what was life like before google?) and I came across all kinds of little bits of wisdom on how to pull us lovely ladies. Judging by some of these websites, they do presume us chicks are rather simple. It's almost like a scientific experiment. We are all female, we have boobs, so therefore we will all react in the same way, to the same thing. I hate to break it to you boys, but we are way more complicated that that

So here is one bit of wisdom from the first match on google;

Being a great seducer means using the appropriate technique to maximize the success rate and able to bypass subconscious defenses and barriers built into women's mind in order to "protect" herself from men who try to "pick them up"

I hate to burst your tiny little bubble, but these defenses and barriers aren't subconscious, we are perfectly aware of what we are doing, and we do it for a reason. Men get told this alot, but I don't think they fully undersand it. Women get approached ALOT. You won't be the first guy doing it, and you sure won't be the last. So we have something to compare you to. In fact we have lots to compare you to. Which isn't really a good thing for you and your 'skills'. You see we have seen it all before, we've heard the same lines, we've been asked the same questions. I know that men don't have it easy. That in general they are expected to be the ones to approach the chcik, and I admit that women on the most part don't make it easy. Can you really blame us though? You see we realise that you haven't approached us because we look like we can hold a stimulating conversation. It's much more animal instinct that that. The little guy downstairs probably had somewhat of a say in it, and we know that! That's not to say all you fellas want to get us into bed, but there is an element of physical attraction at work. Women don't really want to be the desire of your penis straight off, did I mention we are complicated? Now I can't claim to be a master at picking up women, because, well, I don't. However, I am female (last time I checked) and I do know what I like, and what I don't like. So I can only offer you advice from that really!

My first piece of advice would be, don't stare! Dribbling isn't big, and it isn't clever, and we don''t find it attractive! I think that some men have it in their heads that women are made to feel quite special by a man staring at her. WRONG! This isn't a meat market boys! I know that when I go to a club, the usual thing is that the men gather around the dance floor and firmly keep their arses on the seats (until they've had a beer, because they dance so much better then!) and women dance, and are basically just stared at. It's like men are eyeing up the best bit of meat, which is the best bargain! We don't like it! I am the first to admit that there are ways of flirting by just using body language and eye contact, but please note body language is not you with your tongue hanging out!

The next step is actually speaking to us, and what you say! Now as you approach a woman, keep in mind as I said before, we've heard it before, and in the back of our minds we will be wondering what your intentions are, and what made you come over in the first place, not that we don't know, hello 'lil fella

. We will see through lines such as 'so, what do you do for a living', we know you don't really care, and that you will forget our answer after ten minutes. So what's the point. They key here is, originality. You need something that will stand you out from the other ten chumps that try exactly the same thing. Now the first thing you can try, and I think most men have mastered this one already, is humour. There is no big secret that most women respond well to a bit of humour. That doesn't mean act like a complete clown, but a bit of light hearted banter can ease awkward situations. My next suggestion is, ask her what she thinks about things. Ask opinions, and listen to her answers, and offer your opinions to. Don't just do the usual small talk topics, they don't really interest anyone. Get to the interesting stuff. Show her you are looking for more than just getting in her knickers. Though more on that later.

My third piece of advice, and I can't believe I am saying this, is keep your options open. Don't just keep your eye on one person that you are attracted to and ignore everyone else. Talk to as many people as possible, and that doesn't mean run about chatting everything up that has a pulse, but be open to have conversation with anyone. Whether the little fella approves or not!

This leads me to my final piece of wisdom. Ignore everything I just said! That's right, hehe! To approach a woman without any intentions, and without a plan in mind, and to just be yourself, is better than any piece of advice I can offer you. Men aren't monsters. They aren't any different to us females. If you can be genuine, and honest, women will pick up on that, and there won't be any problems. Obviously we will do the same dancing, because it appears we can't cope without the game playing. God forbid you phone a chick when you want to rather than waiting the compulsary days, as not to look to desperate. If you do that the world as we know it may come to an end! I guess though that we reach the same place at the end!

Happy dating folks x

Comments

Caracarn1

on Apr 27, 2006

Good advice, I wouldn't know as I started dating my gf in highschool and have been ever since (9 years ago) so I don't know much about the dating scene anymore.

I do have a story though about how my buddy successfully picked up a girl using the most rude and offensive line ever but I think it is too bad to post here....we all bet him it wouldn't work, but it did, and on the first girl he tried too.

It was pretty much "Hi, my name is Derek, I have a *&*& and I like to eat *&*^%"

So yeah, original, humor, but sometimes, straight out bluntness can work.

Buddah Moskowitz

on Apr 27, 2006

Sally,

From the title, I thought this was going to have some tips about handling baby chicks. I've been scooping them up with a shovel for a few weeks now, but they don't seem to like that.

Men: She's right, don't stare, dribble, drool. Don't think being blunt equals being direct. Be polite. Be willing to get shot down at a ratio of 10:1. C'mon men, it's just a little rejection. It's not like that's anything new. More than that, remember that these women are someone's daughters. They all want love and closeness, just maybe not from you in particular. If one says no, politely move on.

Women: Don't assume every guy wants to get into your pants, or is completely awestruck by your breasts. We know that you've been hit on a billion times, and have heard every pick up line, but we haven't. So we don't know that we're lacking in originality - try and see the best in our efforts. (Besides you don't want someone with too much "originality" -- too much places one in the freakish category.)

Most of all, dating, like anything else, is a skill that needs practice -- and there's no substitute for that!

And, if you do get lucky (both of you, that is), remember to USE THAT CONDOM!

Shalom

Buddah Moskowitz

on Apr 27, 2006

One further thought for the men: if she tells you that there's no chemistry, then stop right there! There ain't no way to whip up chemistry if she doesn't already have it. If she says that, buy her a drink, and thank her for not wasting your time. And then, move along...

Buddah Moskowitz

on Apr 27, 2006

Dr Guy

on Apr 27, 2006

Me? I just bend my knees, loop my arms around them, and then lift!

I am married, so I dont need the advice. But dont delete your blog should something happen in the far distant future!

AngelaMarie88

on Apr 27, 2006

My dream has always been something along this line:

To be going about my life, doing the things that I enjoy in a casual setting with a mix of friends & new acquaintances. (I picture camping, hiking, non-competetive sports.) Gradually and naturally through conversation and normal, wholesome interaction, an attraction sparks between two people, followed by sweet, pure love. It's the most beautiful thing I can imagine.

I don't know how other ladies feel, but atmospheres like bars and pubs and forced pick-up lines are so unnatural and sickening to me. Have women resorted to such scenes because they've lost hope?

Sally jacobs

on Apr 27, 2006

I don't know much about the dating scene anymore.

You are extremely lucky!

"Hi, my name is Derek, I have a *&*& and I like to eat *&*^%"

.....I can only imagine what words are missing there, you don't even want to know the rude thoughts I am having, haha...

So yeah, original, humor, but sometimes, straight out bluntness can work.

Nothing wrong with saying what you mean, I think many women like cheeky!

From the title, I thought this was going to have some tips about handling baby chicks. I've been scooping them up with a shovel for a few weeks now, but they don't seem to like that.

I'm sorry to disappoint, I'll put that blog on my to do list. It will follow my 'ten things you shouldn't use a shovel for' blog, hehe.

Buddah, I think that is pretty sound advice for both parties. I do understand men get a hard time of it, and that to approach women is a difficult thing to do, but you are right when a chick says no, she does mean it! It's hard to think men aren't awestruck by our breasts, due to the amount of time they spend staring at them, they do know we have faces, don't they? Hehe...

And, if you do get lucky (both of you, that is), remember to USE THAT CONDOM!

HAHAHA.....Be safe kids

There ain't no way to whip up chemistry if she doesn't already have it.

Well said. Chemistry is hard to find, but it is more than worth the wait!

Me? I just bend my knees, loop my arms around them, and then lift! I am married, so I dont need the advice. But dont delete your blog should something happen in the far distant future!

Hehe...how talented are you, lol! I won't delete the blog, but here's hoping you never need to use it!

Angela, I couldn't agree with you more. Personally I don't see a pub as somewhere I would really like to meet a man. I like to build up a connection first, and get to know them, and be comfortable. I think friendship comes first, and then whatever follows is a bonus. I am a little old fashioned though!

Thanks for all the comments x

dynamaso

on Apr 27, 2006

While I'm not trying to make myself any better than I am, I've found the best trick when trying to meet women is to simply be myself. Women like men who know what they are and what they like. Be decisive and straight up. If you have charm, for instance, use it but if you haven't then don't try it on. You'll only look stupid and the girls will avoid you like you've got a disease. This applies to trying to be funny, tough, intellectual etc.

The other tip I'd offer is to be honest. If you don't like something, say so. Don't pretend just because you think it will impress. If the relationship leads the way you'd like, you've established part of it based on a lie. You are only digging a hole that will get deeper as time goes on. Sure, it might work in silly sitcoms or movies but if you try it in real life, you will lose.

Sally jacobs

on Apr 28, 2006

Dyn, I couldn't agree with you more. People see through fakeness almost immediately it will do you no good!

You'll only look stupid and the girls will avoid you like you've got a disease. This applies to trying to be funny, tough, intellectual etc.

Ohhh yes, words of wisdom there! Don't be something you are not, because you will end up looking foolish! I know from experience, ha!

Don't pretend just because you think it will impress. If the relationship leads the way you'd like, you've established part of it based on a lie.

I know that when you first meet someone, and you like them, it is easy to stretch the truth, and say things you think will impress. It doesn't work in the big picture though. Lies always come out in the end, and they will just make you look bad!

dynamaso

on Apr 30, 2006

Ohhh yes, words of wisdom there!

Well, you got the 'words' part right,

Lies always come out in the end, and they will just make you look bad!

Now thems wise words.

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