What I got, in light of my latest, is that the younger generation does not know manners.  For what ever reason.  (That is for another day).  Rude is rude.  But if they are not taught rude, how do they know?

I just think that we all want to do the things we're not allowed to at some point. And when you're young being rude is one of this things just to see how far they can go and get away with it.
Insightful article!

I clicked on your link and found that they are releasing an EP called "Who the f**k are Arctic Monkeys" Point proven, perhaps?

And when you're young being rude is one of this things just to see how far they can go and get away with it.

I think this is about right. It's a youth/rebellion/cool thing.

What interests me is the link between rudeness and unkindness. I'm an Englishman living in South Korea. Much of the politeness that I remember from England (once you get out of London), like orderly queueing to get on the bus and generally behaving with a minimum of polite respect even to total strangers is missing here. Korea is a push, shove, "me first!" kind of place, where strangers are usually treated as 'rivals' or problems to be got around. They are also very blunt people: ["you look terrible today!" "God, you're fat!"] Nevertheless, as well as being very rude, Koreans are also extraordinarily kind people, with an astonishing empathy for the emotional states of the people around them. (It also has to be said that they are permanently anxious about their national reputation so that foreigners, even when total strangers, will usually get treated very well). Both their rudeness and their kindness are their cultural norms.

Rude young people in Britain, on the other hand, are often rebelling against a norm - a tradition of politeness which is charming and civilised, but also sometimes a little cold and distant. Young people are often thought of as rebels and idealists (images of students taking to the barricades and all that). Not so. The confusion of youth is the time when we are most likely to be selfish, narrow and actually quite conservative (not that those three things automatically go together! ). I remember shocking a university lecturer once by describing radicalism as a 'function of early middle age'.

No matter how smart you are, there are some things you only learn in life from having been alive for a certain number of years. One of these things is to focus less on the 'dramatic' virtues like love and passion and to see instead the power of the more modest virtues, like kindness, politeness and civilty. The small steps we can take daily to make life a little bit more pleasant for each other usually have more tangible effects in the real world than our more dramatic gestures.

Nice article.

I don't think there is any excuse for being rude or inconsiderate. I hate to say it, but I am seeing this more and more here in Australia, though. People seem to have lost something in recent years. There is no real community spirit, well very little anyway and everyone is out to 'look out for number one'.

IMHO I think one of the reasons good manners are dying is because kids see rudeness as being 'cool'. When you have people like Bam Magera, the Jackass crew and the boys from Dirty Sanchez being paid to humiliate themselves and others in public, kids see good manners as a conservative and old fashioned. I am in no way a conservative. I happen to like Bam and Jackass. I think these guys are crazy-nuts but it is all in good fun, for the most part. But it doesn't mean I have to be rude as well.

The other thing I think is happening is a lot of people mistake rudeness for assertiveness or articulation. The fact is being rude doesn't do anyone any favours. To be able to articulate a disagreeance or annoyance while maintaining positive language is more an art than letting rip with verbal invective. I'm not saying I'm not guilty of this occasionally. But I would far rather walk away from a situation knowing I've handled it the best way possible and hopefully have created a win-win situation for all concerned.

Great article, Sally.

But if they are not taught rude, how do they know?

Because they aren't taught what isn't rude either? I don't know....

And when you're young being rude is one of this things just to see how far they can go and get away with it.

Yer I agree with that and as I said kids can get away with it a bit more. I was no angel when I was young, I tested the boundaries too!

I clicked on your link and found that they are releasing an EP called "Who the f**k are Arctic Monkeys" Point proven, perhaps?

Anyone that looks at that website, I would recommend that they click on the videos and watch when the sun comes down. Brilliant song!

Koreans are also extraordinarily kind people, with an astonishing empathy for the emotional states of the people around them.

I sometimes think peope have good manner, but not always the kindness. Does that make the good manners fake? Like they don't truely mean it, it's just something that you have to do. When it comes to genuine kindness though, many of these people fail. Hmm....

The confusion of youth is the time when we are most likely to be selfish, narrow and actually quite conservative

I don't mind the young experimenting with different behaviours, aslong as it leads them to this conclusion (which you put beautifully btw)....

focus less on the 'dramatic' virtues like love and passion and to see instead the power of the more modest virtues, like kindness, politeness and civilty. The small steps we can take daily to make life a little bit more pleasant for each other usually have more tangible effects in the real world than our more dramatic gestures.

I couldn't of put it better myself

I happen to like Bam and Jackass. I think these guys are crazy-nuts but it is all in good fun, for the most part. But it doesn't mean I have to be rude as well.

I could't agree more, I also enjoy watching things like that, but it doesn't mean I want to go out and throw myself in front of a moving car, hehe!

To be able to articulate a disagreeance or annoyance while maintaining positive language is more an art than letting rip with verbal invective.

This got me thinking, because I am guilty of having a very sharp tongue. I generally say what I'm thinking, and that doesn't always come out in the best way. I guess we are all learning, huh?

Thanks for the great comments guys x

I generally say what I'm thinking, and that doesn't always come out in the best way.

I'm guilty of it too. In fact, if I lose my temper (happens very rarely, mind you) I also lose any sense of logic. I find if I'm upset about something, I'm better off doing the whole count to ten trick before I say anything. At least then I don't look like a ranting madman.

I guess we are all learning, huh?

I don't ever want to stop learning. But your point is well taken.

I find if I'm upset about something, I'm better off doing the whole count to ten trick before I say anything. At least then I don't look like a ranting madman.

I get passionate about things, and I am much better at putting my thoughts down on paper than I am verbally. Here things are well thought out, and I can put them across in a way people will understand. Where as in the heat of a situation, my mouth does tend to run away with me. Especially if I feel like I am not been listened to. That frustrates me no end.

I don't ever want to stop learning.

I enjoy learning. I like finding out new things, and understanding things. I think that may be what's known as a geek. Chavs would hate me, haha!

I have been observing society's steady decline into rudeness for several years now. It isn't just the young people. Adults are becoming more and more rude, selfish, and inconsiderate every day.

People sometimes give me odd looks because I try to always be polite no matter what the situation. I admit that once in a while I fail, but this is the exception not the norm. It seems that rudeness has become the accepted norm today. And it stinks.

In some ways I think it's a natural although undesireable effect of less personal interaction as electronic interaction is becoming far more the normal means of communication. People just don't talk with each other the way they used to do.

I get passionate about things, and I am much better at putting my thoughts down on paper than I am verbally.

I'm pretty good at verbally expressing myself, but like you, if I feel I'm not being listened to, I get pissed off and that turns me into the ranting madman I spoke of before and I don't like it. I do, however, find it much easier to express myself through writing rather than speaking.

I think that may be what's known as a geek. Chavs would hate me, haha!

Oh, I know I'm a geek. I'm proud of my geekdom. I always wanted to be cool but found out pretty quickly geeks definitely have more fun and more resources to tap into. Geeks rock.

I sometimes think peope have good manner, but not always the kindness. Does that make the good manners fake?

Could be, but that's the beauty of 'good manners': even when practised as an insincere obligation, they can still have the same positive effect. The person giving up their seat for an elderly passenger may be motivated by the joy of helping others or internally gritting their teeth, but the grandmother with arthritic knees still gets to sit down.

I get pissed off and that turns me into the ranting madman I spoke of before and I don't like it.

Yes, I do tend to rant. I do that on paper though too. I can feel myself getting really wound up about something and it just comes flowing out. Better out than in, I guess!

I always wanted to be cool but found out pretty quickly geeks definitely have more fun and more resources to tap into. Geeks rock

Ha I couldn't agree more! Coolness just wouldn't suit me, I'd soon make it look bad, hehe!

I have been observing society's steady decline into rudeness for several years now. It isn't just the young people. Adults are becoming more and more rude, selfish, and inconsiderate every day.

Yes same here, and it really does worry me. It's like people are to busy to say please and thank you, well I'm afraid that's no excuse at all. We may all live busy lives and whatever else, but good manners don't take all that effort. When I have children I will do what my parents did and make the realise good manners are not an option, it's just how things are!

In some ways I think it's a natural although undesireable effect of less personal interaction as electronic interaction is becoming far more the normal means of communication. People just don't talk with each other the way they used to do.

You know I never thought of it from that perspective, and now I have I would say that is a huge factor. People just don't have to talk to other in the same way we used too. We can send messages by e-mail or whatever, and that lets us off the hook. Not always a good thing!

but that's the beauty of 'good manners': even when practised as an insincere obligation, they can still have the same positive effect. The person giving up their seat for an elderly passenger may be motivated by the joy of helping others or internally gritting their teeth, but the grandmother with arthritic knees still gets to sit down.

People do respond well to good manners, and another thing is smiling at people. I know it's not really relevant, but smiling at someone can have more of an effect than we would realise. Nice comment, thanks.

Thank you all x

Coolness just wouldn't suit me, I'd soon make it look bad

Now this is funny. Well said and I am exactly the same.