"Conversation should be pleasant without scurrility, witty without affectation, free without indecency, learned without conceitedness, novel without falsehood."

I am a bit of a fiesty chick. Shocking I know. It is true though. I speak my mind, and I won't back down, and if I am challenged I will stand my ground. I think it is the best way to be. Alot of the time when I am introduced to new people, I can be a little cheeky, and my sense of humour is naturally sarcastic, and some people just don't know how to take it. Alot of the males I am friends with now have commented that on first meeting me they didn't like me, and it is only over time that they have grown to like me. My best friend, who is male, hated me when he first met me. Now this trend doesn't happen much with girls. Girls generally like me, and don't have a problem with the sarcasm, and cheeky comments. Men take great offense though, and I just don't get it.

I have talked to a few men about this, and questioned what it's about. Alot have said that men don't like confident women, and find it difficult to deal with them. Now I wasn't buying this. Men not liking confident women? What, are we living in the dark ages? I don't think so, but this isn't something that is a one off, it happens all the time. Now it is with boys of my age group, older men can take it on the chin, and don't have a problem with it, but boys my age, if you challenge them, they hate it. So what got me thinking about this? Well my friend was telling me about a girl that works behind the bar in his local. He goes in for a few times a week, and he just doesn't like this girl, and why? Well because she has a smart remark for just about everything, and is pretty sarcastic to boot. Now she has made a few comments to my friend and so far he has let it go.

Now he has told me a few things she has said, and to be honest she just makes me laugh. He said he thinks that she is trying to flirt, but she is failing miserably, and he hates it, and he is close to saying something, in his opinion, she is the staff, and she shouldn't be rude. I pointed out that maybe this was just her nature, and maybe he should just deal with it. That went down well. When he was describing her behaviour I failed to see how it was any different to the way I am. So I pointed this out to him, and he said it is different, because I do it in a nice way. Not that he thought that at first, he thought exactly the same things that he now thinks about that girl.

I realise that first impressions are important, and I also realise that sarcasm isn't always appreciated. Many people just don't get it. Does this mean that maybe I should control it a bit more when I first meet people, and ease them into the verbal abuse I have prepared for them? Hehe. Honestly, I'm not that bad! Sometimes, I can be a little shy when I first meet people. Shyness isn't something I really suffer from, but when I am first introduced to people it sometimes hits me. That's when I'm at my worst. My sense of humour is like a defense mechanism. Humour has got me out of some awkward situatations, and there is no better way of easing a tense situation, than making a joke, so that's where it comes from. I sometimes think I can come across as a little to much, and maybe I should work on my levels of cheekiness. On the other hand, why should I change? If you don't like me. You don't have too.

I wonder why men my age, maybe I should call them boys, have such a problem with confident women. Now I know this isn't all boys, but a large majority of them just don't know how to handle it, and much prefer the nice, sweet girls, who wouldn't say BOO to them. I mean what is the deal with them? Is it not fun to be challenged? Does it not make things a little more interesting and exciting? Or maybe they want to be the ones doing the challenging, and they want to be incharge, and want a girl to worship the ground they walk on, no questions asked. If that is the case, they probably are better off just avoiding girls like me!


Comments (Page 2)
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on Aug 13, 2006

As for men being intimidated, I guess you just need to find the right ones. Some are intimidated, while others admire strong women.

I agree.  It does depend on the man.  Some appreciate a strong lass!

shan't lie, I like 'em a bit on the fiesty side. That's why I'm so enamored with ya, my dear . . . when I move to Spain, expect at least one visit

Aww thanks babe!  I can't wait...so when is this visit taking place?

Last time that happened, Lord nelson sank the fleet!

on Aug 13, 2006
To me, sarcasm = humor, and my entire family rolls around it. Haha. Seriously, my husband and I have so much fun together.

So long as sarcasm isn't used as a weapon to hurt the people you love (just the people you don't, ahhahahaha), I don't see why it would harm a relationship (unless you're with some dull jerk who takes everything seriously). Of course, there's a difference between fun, friendly sarcasm and bitter, cynical sarcasm.

Fiesty is great.
on Aug 13, 2006
I'm wondering if we don't often confuse with with sarcasm?

I looked up this definition from Link http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/wit

"Synonyms: wit, 1humor, repartee, sarcasm, irony
These nouns denote forms of expression that elicit amusement or laughter. Wit implies intellectual keenness and the ability to perceive and express in a diverting way analogies between dissimilar things: gWit has truth in it; wisecracking is simply calisthenics with wordsh (Dorothy Parker). Humor suggests the faculty of recognizing what is amusing, comical, incongruous, or absurd: gMan's sense of humor seems to be in inverse proportion to the gravity of his professionh (Mary Roberts Rinehart). Repartee implies a facility for answering swiftly and cleverly: gframing comments... that would be sure to sting and yet leave no opening for reparteeh (H.G. Wells). Sarcasm is a form of caustic wit intended to wound or ridicule another: g [His] tone seemed as if meant to be kind and soothing, but yet had a bitterness of sarcasm in ith (Nathaniel Hawthorne). Irony is a form of expression in which an intended meaning is the opposite of the literal meaning of the words used: gA drayman in a passion [a rage] calls out, eYou are a pretty fellow,f without suspecting that he is uttering ironyh (Thomas Macaulay). "

Given these terms, I think my cousin is definitely being sarcastic when she probably (I hope) means to be witty. I would say that I often confuse it in terms of humor that makes me laugh. As well, things that were not mean to wound (hence being witty) could unintentionally become sarcastic if it hits a secret sore spot.
on Aug 14, 2006
Aww thanks babe! I can't wait...so when is this visit taking place?


If all goes as planned, come January, I'll be doing a "study abroad in Spain." And I'll make sure that gimpy one-armed fella doesn't sink me, Guy.
on Aug 14, 2006
Sally,

I like all my friends to be feisty, to stand up for themselves, to have an opinion, in short, to care enough to speak up. Toni is not backward in coming forward neither are any of my friends. I wouldn't have it any other way.

I think you might have it right about the 'boys' in your circle. Young lads don't like to be challenged by women because, for the most part, they're still of the idea that men are the superior sex. As you and I know, this is patently not true. We're equals in most respects, with men being able to do some things better than women and vice versa. The lads have a lot to learn...
on Aug 14, 2006
They are just little woosies (spelling?) aren't they?

Why do you think the gay community is growing so rapidly - men are terrified of women these days, thay have lost their ability to control them

You go girl, be yourself - only a true man worthy of his own salt will be able to stand next to you without fear and not put you down or belittle you he will be a well balanced man to be able to do this, be patient - sometime in your lifetime you will meet one and be very surprised! True - some are actually out there

Men able to stand in the presence (spelling?) of such a mighty being (a strong women ) without turning into a gibbering idiot are far and few between. *doubling up painfully with a deep chuckle!*

Be yourself, so long as you have no intentional hurt in your actions, never change to please another, you only cause damage to your selfrespect.
on Aug 14, 2006
Take our newest blogger, jennifer1 for example. Now I'm sure she's just blogging her frustrations to some extent, but with her "I HATE MEN!" bit, I'm given to think she's a bit of a angry bitchy person IRL. I bet she'd describe herself as a fiesty, independent woman and it's the fault of all men that they can't accept her.


No I do not descibe myself as fiesty and independant! I describe myself as being a broken, chewed up, disrespected, spat out and well used in not so nice a way type of women. This does not make me an angry bitchy person. It makes me a person who rants and gets it off her chest!
.

on Aug 14, 2006
These nouns denote forms of expression that elicit amusement or laughter. Wit implies intellectual keenness and the ability to perceive and express in a diverting way analogies between dissimilar things: gWit has truth in it; wisecracking is simply calisthenics with wordsh (Dorothy Parker). Humor suggests the faculty of recognizing what is amusing, comical, incongruous, or absurd: gMan's sense of humor seems to be in inverse proportion to the gravity of his professionh (Mary Roberts Rinehart). Repartee implies a facility for answering swiftly and cleverly: gframing comments... that would be sure to sting and yet leave no opening for reparteeh (H.G. Wells). Sarcasm is a form of caustic wit intended to wound or ridicule another: g [His] tone seemed as if meant to be kind and soothing, but yet had a bitterness of sarcasm in ith (Nathaniel Hawthorne). Irony is a form of expression in which an intended meaning is the opposite of the literal meaning of the words used: gA drayman in a passion [a rage] calls out, eYou are a pretty fellow,f without suspecting that he is uttering ironyh (Thomas Macaulay).


aw sheesh now you're just showing off!
on Aug 14, 2006
Just to make sure, that definition of wit came from the web, dictionary.com which I linked to. I didn't write it.
on Aug 14, 2006
I like them feisty. Dull women bore me. I have always wanted a woman that can stand up for herself, not that I wouldn't come to her defense if I have to. I just like to know that I can trust leaving her alone.

I'm a bit of a jokester myself. I'm sure many of you here have seen my not-so-good jokes as I reply. I use sarcasm from time to time. I look at it this way, I figure the same way I apply it's use in my jokes I tend to believe people use it the same way. I usually say jokes about something that I actually don't like, kinda like an indirect way to say something without actually saying it.

I can't help trying to be funny. I usually expect most people to be stressed now a day with so many things going on, so I just try to cheer people up a bit.
on Aug 14, 2006
I find confident women very attractive, but I must say that I prefer a gal that radiates confidence by her demeanor. Strength can be detremined from what is not said at times. Some people (both men and women) can appear to be tring too hard, not saying that is the case with you Sally. People probably discover this about you after they have known you because that's when they realize your the real deal and not just spouting off. Do what your comfortable with, others will either get to know you or not, thier loss right?
on Aug 14, 2006

Dull women bore me.

Stay away from my wife!  Grrrr!

on Aug 15, 2006

I tried replying to this article the other day and my pc went a bit mental - so since it's so late I shall just say thank you all for your comments.  They are much appreciated, and I am glad some of you are digging on the fiesty chicks.

Oh and Jennifer I wouldn't describe you in any of those ways, you seem like a decent chick to me.  Welcome to JU

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