"Conversation should be pleasant without scurrility, witty without affectation, free without indecency, learned without conceitedness, novel without falsehood."

I wonder how many women dream of having children when they are younger. Of getting married and living happily ever after. When we are children, little girls generally play with dolls, and drink imaginary cups of tea in their imaginary houses, and little boys run off and get dirty, and find trouble. It's just what kids do. I would also say that many women reach a certain stage in their lives where they want to have a family and have children and look after them, and many are also willing to put their careers on hold to do so. Not a problem. It stops many women from reaching levels of success that men do in the workplace because of it. That is their choice though, and no one puts a gun to their head or forces them to do so. In the news recently here there have been two divorce cases going through the courts, two court cases of relatively wealthy men, who have had to pay huge payouts to their wives. Melissa Miller will recieve £5million of her husband Alan's £17.5million fortune, and Julia Mcfarlane will recieve £250,000 a year, for life from her husband Kenneth. Does that sound fair to you?

These women have stopped their careers, so that their husbands can go out, and concentrate on their careers and give it their all. These women have stayed at home and raised families, and raised children. So surely they are entitled to some kind of payout if things go wrong? They have loved and supported their husbands. They have managed without them when they have had to put in extra time at work, they have looked after children, dealt with problems around the house, and generally put their own lives on hold for the sake of their family and everything else. They have done something a great deal of women do. Something that a great deal of women want to do. Is there any other job more rewarding than watching your children grow? I personally think these kind of settlements are ridiculous and spiralling out of control. Maybe one day when I get married, and put on hold my high paying career for kids, I will feel differently, but for the moment, I think such payouts are just silly, and are probably putting alot of wealthy people off getting married. Not that it should, because marriage is forever, but that is an entirely different blog.

So just how much do women contribute to their husbands success? Should they be compensated for walking away from their own careers? First of all, I have no doubt that the love and support that a wife gives her husband is a contributing factor to the way he performs at work. I am sure a wife provides help and advice where she can, and tries to make things as easy as possible for him at home. Like a good little wife should. That's what wives do though, isn't it? That's what you sign up for. If you aren't going to do that, then why bother in the first place, and why want money for doing something that should just be natural anyway? Secondly, when two people meet, who have successful careers, and they decide to have a family, how do you think they decide who stays at home with the kids? Fair enough the female will have maternity leave, and will have a little time off, but surely they will decide based on who has the most successful career and who actually wants to do it. I am guessing one of them does, for them to want to have kids in the first place, that is just common sense to me.

Maybe these women could have had really successful careers. I don't even doubt that. I am sure they were well looked after anyway, and didn't really do without. Plus, they had their children. That in my opinion is a huge added bonus. They got something out of that marriage, that money can't buy. They got their kids. How can anyone ever begrudge that? So you didn't have a career. Well you could of kept your career and not had children, but obviously they didn't want to do that. Which is fair enough. That was their decision. No one elses. I am guessing they would of wanted children even if they weren't with these men, if they were in different situations, so what would they of done then? I do not dispute these women made contributing factors to their husbands wealth. I don't disagree that they put their own careers on hold to raise a family. I just don't agree with the ridiculous amounts of money that are getting thrown around. Alot of people, who don't have the ability to build successful careers manage on alot less, and do it happily. So lets not make marriage, and children, a career move for women that don't know any better.

 


Comments (Page 2)
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on Aug 07, 2006

Marriage is about building a life together. It's sad that it doesn't work out sometimes. But it doesn't change my opinion that one cannot reasonably measure individual contributions to ones life and that when you get married, you are building a life together that is hopefully greater than the sum of its parts.

When marriages end, that is the sign of the end of a parnership, of something you have put time and effort into.  People can be bitter and angry, and set out to hurt the other party.  Many people do it one of two ways, they use their children, or they take what they can financially.  That is because they are hurting and they are angry, and they are lashing out.  Does that make the behavoiur right?  No.  That's humans for you.  I agree with you that if anything ever happened your wife supported you and helped you and therefore everythings hould be split, because that was what was built during your partnership.  I just think some people use it as a weapon, rather than what is fair and equal.

Thanks for the comment x

on Aug 07, 2006
I have heard all this foolish rhetoric before.

In addition, I think we live in a world were there is so much for everybody. In my opinion, it is a tragedy how much potential we waste every day.

One of the greatest waste in my opinion is our ability to have a real understanding of who we are and what we want in life. When we have this understandin we make love and marriage about more concrete things and stop spending our time putting of our spouses with foolish philosophical debates.

In the debate on who is worth more in society, women or men, as long as women have what men want women's value will always be a little more than men's value.

That's why it is good there are women standing on street corner selling there goods. Kidding. Just Kidding.

For me a mate is just the one to enjoy myself with after I have slayed the dragon, dragged it home, cut it up, placed in airtight containers, and placed in the freezer where it does not interfer with the little woman's yougart and fish sticks.

Trust me. If Angelina Jolie and I were trapped in an elevator, I would have a whole lot better things to do then discuss which gender has more value in society.

Like starring at her and shaking nervously.
on Aug 07, 2006
Jesse: Are you retarded or just not good at expressing yourself in writing?
on Aug 07, 2006
#15 by Draginol
Mon, August 07, 2006 0:14 PM

My wife worked in the office before our first child was born and has been a stay at home mother since...


Lazy huh?


(Just kidding Jill, don't kill me)
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