"Conversation should be pleasant without scurrility, witty without affectation, free without indecency, learned without conceitedness, novel without falsehood."
Published on September 4, 2006 By Sally jacobs In Misc

I am a bad loser. There is just no denying it. I am extremely competitive, and when I lose at something my behaviour is similar to that of a two year old child in the process of a full on temper tantrum. Which includes rolling on the front, kicking my feet, and banging my fists against the floor in floods of tears. Well maybe that is a slight exaggeration, but I am an unbelivably bad loser. I like to be good at things, and I like to win, and I can't accept anything less. Which in some ways is a good thing, and in others it is a terrible thing. Because unfortunately I can't be good at everything. Some things I am just terrible at. For instance, I'm not the most sporty of people. My brain seems to know what it would like to do, but my body just can't seem to follow the instructions. I'm not very musical. Tone deaf actually springs to mind. Though I would love to have the ability to appreciate music, and on a level that is slightly above bopping around my living room to Britney Spears. I just don't have the ear or the voice for it. I'm not good at remembering facts, or the names of things. I usually go around the houses, trying to explain the simplest of things that have just escaped my memory.

So when I am bad at something, I generally don't do it. Which is another terrible thing. But I would prefer to not do something, than do it and be bad at it. The thing that escapes me, is, that if I actually gave it a go, and tried, and tried at it, I would most likely build my ability at it. Now with some things I do this. I keep at it, until I am good at it. There are other things that I just fail at, and I can't manage to dust myself off, and get back at it. There are also some things that I would love to do, but in my mind I have failed before I even try them. Now I know this is not the way to be, and it is something that I am working on to improve myself. I think I have a fear of humiliating myself, and making myself look a little bit stupid. But I seem to forget everyone has to start somewhere, and by showing people that I am not superwoman (not that I need to tell people that) I will realise that it isn't actually showing people a weakness but rather a strength. That's what I believe anyway.

So, what's brought this blog on? Well...I took part in a pub quiz. I am not a huge fan of quizes, my general knowledge is poor, and I don't perform well under pressure, and yes folks I do consider that to be pressure. So things weren't looking good for me from the start. Now I had taken part in this quiz a few times with my friends, and I had quite enjoyed it, and I think what added to the fun was that we had won. I like winning. On this occasion though, I got split up with my friends and ended up on a team of.....erm.....challenging individuals. There was 20 questions on pop music. What fun! Turns out I know nothing about the pop music industry. And neither did the rest of my team. To be fair most of the questions were way before my time, but I still did shockingly bad, I think we got 5 out of 20....and they were all the ones I answered. My friends thought it would be great fun to make fun of my poor score, which is fair play. I have to say I took it badly....because I am a bad loser. I didn't throw a stroppy fit, but I didn't like it.

I guess this is just something that I will have to learn to live with and try not to let me get to it. We can't win all the time otherwise we wouldn't appreciate it as much as when we do. Losing just leaves me with a bad feeling. Maybe as I get older I will realise the winning and losing isn't that important, it's more about taking those chances, and giving things ago that matters. I think that is part of my problem, that my fear of losing and failure sometimes stops me from doing things. I will get better though. The sart of making things better is admiting that I have a problem in the first place.


Comments
on Sep 04, 2006
Hah! I don't mind losing when I'm expecting myself to....the only time I ever get pissed or upset because I lost is when I know I should win. I usually don't mind too much if I gave it a good shot, but if I really sucked at it and I knew I shouldn't have then I get ticked. Say, in trivia...like the tournament we have on here for JU...if I get anything less than an 8/10 I'm a tad pissed, because I know I should have done better. Now if I'm in a position in which I suck at something....like basketball for instance, I don't mind losing because: A. I suck and B. I don't really give a damn.

I can't really say I've ever had a temper tantrum over losing something...besides swearing and possibly smacking someone.

~Zoo
on Sep 04, 2006
I use to be like you.  Age mellowed me.  I guess getting old makes you realize that no one is perfect, and losing is just a stepping stone in learning.  But you recognize it, and that is good.
on Sep 04, 2006
I don't have a competitive bone in my body. I never have. I've played plenty of team sports but I just can't get as passionate or upset as some people do when they lose or don't do as well as they expected. It just doesn't bother me. This is probably why I prefer things like surfing or skateboarding. Surfers and skateboarders don't give a damn if you can do the latest move or whatever. Just so long as you're out there giving it a go, that's all that matters.
on Sep 05, 2006

Eh Sally,  I'm competive myself!  I love to win! 

I"m different in that even though I don't do well at something,  I keep pluging along at it,  try to do it.  Except for debating!  I don't like angry people,  find it hard on my physical well-being.

I believe the most that what counts is having fun at something!!  Enjoying it!  then one usually wins too! yay!